Login  
 
 
Go Back   Chamber of Secrets > Harry Potter > Muggle Studies

Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter



Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #121  
Old January 18th, 2008, 3:49 pm
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Option:    


  INT-BOYS DORMITORY/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to a shot of the bottle and pans back to see Harry looking at it

HARRY
Well, here goes.

He takes a little sip out of it.

HERMIONE
What does it feel like?

The screen gets this little haze over it showing that the potion is working.

HARRY
Excellent! Right…I’m going down to Hagrids!

HERMIONE AND RON
What!

HERMIONE
You’ve got to go and see Slughorn!

HARRY
No, I’m going to Hagrids, I’ve got a good feeling about going to Hagrids!

He grabs his invisibility cloak and puts it on. He proceeds to walk down the stairs as Hermione and Ron follow. Harry walks out of the door and we see Lavender standing there as Hermione and Ron come out of the door.

LAVENDER
What are you doing up there with her!

We see Harry walk towards the portrait hole and Ginny and Dean come throw. He walks past them and brushes lightly against Ginny.

GINNY
Don’t push me, please, Dean! You’re always doing that, I can get through perfectly well on my own…

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry is now outside walking towards Hagids and we see Slughorn walking towards him. Harry smiles and simply takes off the Cloak and runs towards him.

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard! Harry, how did you get out of the castle?

HARRY
Filch must’ve forgotten to lock the doors.

SLUGHORN
Why are you out here?

HARRY
You see sir, it’s Hagrid, he’s pretty upset. But you won’t tell anyone, Professor? I don’t want trouble for him…

SLUGHORN
Well I can’t promise that, but I know that Dumbledore trusts Hagrid to the hilt.

HARRY
Well, it’s this giant spider, he’s had it for years, it lived in the forest and could talk and everything. It died last night, and he wants company while he buries it and I said I’d go.

SLUGHORN
I heard rumors there were acromantulas in the forest. And their venom is very valuable indeed, and the creature just died, seems like an awful waste not to collect it.

HARRY
Well, if you wanted to come, Professor, Hagrid would probably be really pleased.

Harry smiles as he see’s the look of excitement in Slughorns eyes and the scene cuts to…

INT. HAGRIDS HUT-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

HAGRID
I had him from an egg, yeh know. Thank ye for coming out tonight.

SLUGHORN
No problem Hagrid, it’s our pleasure.
(We see him turn around and pull out the bottle full of poison.)
It was my pleasure.
(He chuckles and puts it back in his pocket.)

HAGRID
Do you’ wan anything to drink?

SLUGHORN
Why…yes…

INT. HAGRID HUT-LATER THAT NIGHT

Hagrid and Slughorn hit mugs together sloppily. Its apparent they’ve been drinking for quite some time now.

HAGRID
I’d like to…make a toast..Harry Potter!

SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing)
And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….

HAGRID
The good die young…me dad was no age ter go…nor were yer mum an’ dad Harry…terrible thing.

SLUGHORN
Sorry, can’t carry a tune to save my life.

HARRY
Hagrid wasn’t talking about your singing; he was talking about my mum and dad dying.

SLUGHORN
Oh, terrible. I don’t suppose you remember it, Harry?

HARRY
No, I was only one when they died. My dad died first, did you know that?

SLUGHORN
I…I didn’t.

HARRY
Yeah, Voldemort murdered him and then stepped over his body towards my mum. He told her to get out of the way. He told her she needn’t have died, he only wanted me. She could have run.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, that’s awful…

HARRY
It is, isn’t it! She didn’t move, dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with him…but he just laughed…

SLUGHORN
That’s enough! Really, my dear boy, I’m an old man…I don’t need to hear…

HARRY
I forgot, you liked her, didn’t you.

SLUGHORN
Liked her? I don’t imagine anyone who met her wouldn’t have liked her….

HARRY
But you won’t help her son. She gave me her life, but you won’t give me a memory.

SLUGHORN
(His eyes filled with tears.)
Don’t say that…if it were to help you, of course…but no purpose can be served.

HARRY
It can. I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory.

SLUGHORN
You are the Chosen One?

HARRY
Of course I am.

SLUGHORN
You’re asking a great deal…to aid you in your attempt to destroy…

HARRY
You don’t want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?

SLUGHORN
OF course I do Harry, but….

HARRY
You’re scared he’ll find out you helped me? Be brave like my mother, Professor.

SLUGHORN
I am not proud of what that memory shows…I think I may have done great damage that day.

HARRY
You’d cancel out anything you did by giving me that memory. It would be a very brave and noble thing to do.

Slughorn stares at Harry for a second and the camera zoom’s in on Harry’s eyes. Slughorn then pulls his wand out. He places the tip of his wand to his head and pulls out the long threads of the memory and places it into a bottle and corks it. He hands it to Harry.

HARRY
Thank you very much, Professor.

SLUGHORN
You’re a good boy, and you’ve got her eyes…just don’t think too badly of me once you’ve seen it.

(He yawns and then lays back and falls asleep.)

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-LATER THAT NIGHT

The spell vision is gone as Hary knocks on Dumbledore’s office door

DUMBLEDORE
Enter!
(Harry walks in)
Good gracious Harry, to what do I owe this very late pleasure?

HARRY
Sir, I’ve got the memory from Slughorn.
(He pulls it out and shows it to him.)

DUMBLEDORE
Spectacular Harry! Very well done indeed! I knew you could do it!
(He walks up to Harry and takes the bottle and walks over to the Pensive.)
And finally, we shall see.

He pours it into the pensive and we see Dumbledore smile at Harry. We now see Harry and Dumbledore standing in the same room where Tom Riddle and Slughorn was in the earlier memory.

INT-SLUGHORNS OFFICE-NIGHT (20? YEARS AGO)

SLUGHORN
Thank you for the pineapple, by the way, you’re quite right, it is my favorite. I confidently expect you to rise to the Minister of Magic within twelve years!

TOM
I don’t know that politics would suit me sir.

SLUGHORN
Nonsense! You’ll go far Tom, I’ve never been wrong about a student yet!
(Tom looks over at his friends and they all smile.)
Good gracious, is it that time already? You’d better get going boys, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention. Same goes for you, Avery.

Everyone leaves except Tom.

SLUGHORN
What is it Tom, you don’t want to be caught out of bed.

TOM
Sir I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, m’boy!

TOM
I wondered, sir, what you know about…Horcruxes?

SLUGHORN
Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?

TOM
Not exactly sir, I came across the term while reading and I didn’t fully understand it.

SLUGHORN
You’d be hard pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that’ll give you details on Horcruxes. That’s very Dark stuff Tom.

TOM
You obviously know all about them, I mean a wizard like you. If you can’t tell me, I’d understand. I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could.

SLUGHORN
Well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.

TOM
I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir.

SLUGHORN
Well, you split your soul, you see. And hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one’s body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of their soul remains earthbound and undamaged. Few would want this however Tom, death would be preferable.

TOM
How do you split your soul?

SLUGHORN
By an act of evil, the supreme act of evil. By committing murder. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion…

TOM
Encase? But how…

SLUGHORN
There is a spell, do not ask me, I don’t know. Do I look as though I have tried it?

TOM
No sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

SLUGHORN
Not offended Tom, it’s natural to feel curiousity about these things.

TOM
Sir, what I want to know is, will one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, isn’t seven the most powerful magical number?

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard, Tom! Seven! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person? In any case, it’s bad enough to divide the soul…but to rip it into seven pieces…this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing isn’t it? All academic…

TOM
Yes, of course.

SLUGHORN
Keep it quiet, what I’ve told you. It’s a banned subject in Hogwarts…Dumbledore’s particularly fierce about it!

TOM
I won’t say a word sir.

He smiles and we see Dumbledore grab Harry’s shoulder and there’s a flash and they’re back in Dumbledore’s office.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls was two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

DUMBLEDORE
The diary, Tom Riddle’s diary, that you destroyed your second year.

There’s a quick flashback of Harry stabbing the diary with the baskalisk fang in Chamber of Secrets.

HARRY

Tha…That was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

HARRY
He made seven Horcruxes? But they could be anywhere….

DUMBLEDORE
I’m glad to see you appreciate the magnitude of the problem. But it’s not seven Harry, it’s six, the final part is still within him.

HARRY
How are we supposed to find them?

DUMBLEDORE
Well you’ve destroyed one….and I’ve destroyed another…
(he raises his blackened hand into view.)
The ring, Marvolo’s ring. And a terrible curse there was upon it too. Had it not been for my own predigious skills, and for Professor Snapes timely action when I returned to Hogwarts, I might not have lived to tell the tale.

HARRY
So they can be in anything?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldermort wouldn’t put his soul in just anything. No, he would put it into objects worthy of honor. The diary was proof that he was Heir of Slytherian.

HARRY
Do you think you know what the others are?

DUMBLEDORE
I can only guess. I have been going back through his past to see if I can find evidence that great artifacts have disappeared…

HARRY
The locket! Hufflepuff’s cup!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. They would make three and four. I’m guessing he set out to track down objects owned by Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. Four objects from the four founders. I’m also thinking that his snake Nagina holds another piece.

HARRY
So the diary’s gone, the ring’s gone. The cup, the locket, the snake, and you think that there might be a Horcrux that was once Ravenclaw’s or Gryffindor’s?

DUMBLEDORE
Accurate summary Harry.

HARRY
So is that why you’ve been leaving school sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I have been looking for a very long time. I may be close to finding another one.

HARRY
And if you do can I come with you and help get rid of it?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I think so.

HARRY
(Shocked)
I can?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. I think you have earned the right.

HARRY
So if all of his Horcruxes are destroyed, Voldemort could be killed?

DUMBLEDORE
I think so Harry, yes. Without them he will be a mortal man with a maimed and diminished soul. Don’t forget however, as damaged as his soul is, his magical powers still remain intact. It will take uncommon skill and power to kill him.

HARRY
But I haven’t got uncommon skill and power.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power that Voldemort never had. You can…

HARRY
Love, I know. Big deal!

DUMBLEDORE
Big deal? Do you not understand how unusual you are? By attempting to kill you Voldemort singled you out, because of him you’re able to see into his thoughts, ambitions, the snakelike language in which he gives orders, and yet, despite this you have never been seduced by the Dark Arts! Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it. You are protected by this ability, in spite of all you’ve been through you’ve remained pure at heart.

HARRY
It all comes down to the same thing doesn’t it sir? I’ve got to try and kill him or…

DUMBLEDORE
Got to? Of course you’ve got to! Because you will never rest until you’ve tried. Imagine if you hadn’t of heard the prophecy Harry, how would you feel about Voldemort now?

HARRY
I’d want him finished….and I’d want to do it.
  



Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #122  
Old January 20th, 2008, 8:30 pm
lupin_89  Male.gif lupin_89 is offline
First Year
 
Joined: 3977 days
Location: UK
Age: 29
Posts: 1
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

I've been reading this thread and it's replies for ages now and think its a great idea to script our own versions of we'd like the fims to be like. I've just started my own version of a script for Order of the Phoenix as no-one else in this thread seems to be doing that book, and hope to get the first part of it up here soon.

Lupin_89


Reply With Quote
  #123  
Old February 4th, 2008, 12:18 am
IenjoyAcidPops's Avatar
IenjoyAcidPops  Male.gif IenjoyAcidPops is offline
Seventh Year
 
Joined: 4065 days
Location: The Angry Dome
Age: 29
Posts: 1,728
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

My next HBP stuff will be from the Burrow through the Hogwarts Express, but since I'm a bit stuck with rewrites there, I figured this would be a good time to post my first DH scene. Imperfect, of course, but I'm fairly happy with it.


INT. MALFOY MANOR - DRAWING ROOM
FADE IN
An apparently unconscious figure, the firelight in the room too dim for a face to be visible, rotates upside down in midair, as if controlled by invisible ropes. Pan left and down slightly, across a conference table packed with DEATH EATERS, including BELLATRIX LESTRANGE (gazing pleasurably at the bound figure above), NARCISSA MALFOY (looking determinedly away from the prisoner), and PETER PETTIGREW (seated so low in his chair that one mightn't see that it was occupied if they didn't look closely enough). We stop at the chair at the table's rear, in front of the fireplace at the back of the room, occupied by LORD VOLDEMORT himself. Two new arrivals, SEVERUS SNAPE and an unknown, then walk into the room and toward the conference table, making their obligatory glances upward as well.

VOLDEMORT
Yaxley, Snape, you are very nearly late. You have news?

SNAPE
My Lord, it seems the Order intends to move Potter from his current place of safety to the home of one of their own next Saturday, at nightfall.

VOLDEMORT
Good. Very good.

YAXLEY
My Lord, I have heard differently. It is the belief of the auror Dawlish that Potter is to be moved on the night of July 30th, just before his 17th birthday. He seemed quite certain.

SNAPE
He would seem certain if he had been bewitched to believe so to plant a false trail. The Order no longer trusts the Ministry, which means they would not allow classified information of this sort leaked within it; and they will not be using any means of transportation the Ministry can observe.

VOLDEMORT
He will need to move in the open then.

As he walks around the room, a snake the size of his thigh slithers by his side.

VOLDEMORT
That Harry Potter is alive today is more due to my failures than his triumphs. But I understand now what I did not before; I must be the one to kill Harry Potter, and I will be. I suspect the Order will ally with the Ministry to place any protection available to them over the boy's safehouse, and we will not be able to break those enchantments yet. We have begun our mission well, but Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our men before action can be taken. (turning to stare up at the suspended figure) The Ministry of Magic, once a noble magical institution, has allowed mudbloods, werewolves, and blood traitors to run free, but we shall cut away this..canker that infects us, until only the true blood remains. Lucius, I will require your wand. After all, I see no reason for you to have one any longer. (Lucius exchanges a small reluctant look with Narcissa. DRACO sits to Narcissa's left, failing to repress a look of simultaneous insatiable curiosity and genuine horror at the victim above.) Your wand, Lucius! (Lucius hands it over.) Ennervate!

The prisoner begins to return to consciousness.

VOLDEMORT
Yes, this will do fine. You recognize her, Draco? Of course, you will not have taken her classes. Severus, you will know her, no doubt.

As this woman struggles at her invisible bonds, Snape draws a maliciousl-but-slight grin.

SNAPE
Ah, yes.

WOMAN
Severus, please..help me...

VOLDEMORT
For those who do not know, we are joined tonight by Charity Burbage, who, until recently, taught Muggle Studies at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yes, "Professor" Burbage taught the children of the wizarding world that wizards and muggles are not so very different after all; and she even wrote an impassioned defense of mudbloods in 'The Daily Prophet'. Miss Burbage writes that the dwindling of the purebloods is a most desirable occurrence, that we should welcome and embrace these thieves of our knowledge, our magic...She would have us all mate with muggles..

CHARITY pleads with Snape as he and Bellatrix look on in anticipation:

CHARITY
Severus...please...

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

The room is momentarily lit by the green glow of the killing curse as Charity Burbage drops onto the table, causing a few Death Eaters to jump back in their seats slightly, and Draco to fall out of his. Voldemort simply walks back across the room, the giant snake slithering by his side.

VOLDEMORT
Dinner, Nagini.
FADE OUT


And I went back and made a lot of revisions to "Will and Won't" and "Horace Slughorn" and I think they're both much better scenes now.


__________________
Veronica Mars is smarter than me.
(And her movie is available now!)


Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; March 20th, 2008 at 8:48 pm.
Reply With Quote
  #124  
Old February 6th, 2008, 3:51 pm
Blast_ended  Undisclosed.gif Blast_ended is offline
Second Year
 
Joined: 4766 days
Posts: 183
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

IenjoyAcidPops, your script is nice but it has two very major flaws in it: the characters of Yaxley and Charity, both will never be seen again. I would recommend switching Yaxley with Bellatrix (who will have a great role later), and Charity with Ollivander (just cut the murder - have him tortured for information, instead).


Reply With Quote
  #125  
Old February 6th, 2008, 7:09 pm
IenjoyAcidPops's Avatar
IenjoyAcidPops  Male.gif IenjoyAcidPops is offline
Seventh Year
 
Joined: 4065 days
Location: The Angry Dome
Age: 29
Posts: 1,728
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blast_ended View Post
IenjoyAcidPops, your script is nice but it has two very major flaws in it: the characters of Yaxley and Charity, both will never be seen again. I would recommend switching Yaxley with Bellatrix (who will have a great role later), and Charity with Ollivander (just cut the murder - have him tortured for information, instead).
I get what you're saying: as Bellatrix and Ollivander both have sizable roles in the plot later where Yaxley and Charity don't, intro Bella and Ollivander sooner. But I'd really rather just leave it as is because 1) Yaxley is just a prop, just a spy to bring some false info Voldy's way in this one scene (I'm cutting the Ministry break-in), so it's not really giving Bella any more screentime of value if I put her in his place, 2) I want to convey the idea that Voldemort really has raised an army, not just a small clump of regulars (I'm slightly warming up to that old suggestion of putting Bellatrix in the DE attack on Hogwarts in HBP.) 3) We'll see Ollivander being tortured soon enough, and with the whole Muggle-Born Registration Commission issue and all, I think it makes more sense for it to be Charity Burbage, and a much more powerful end to the scene and kick-off to the film. In my opinion, of course.


__________________
Veronica Mars is smarter than me.
(And her movie is available now!)


Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; February 6th, 2008 at 8:10 pm.
Reply With Quote
  #126  
Old February 11th, 2008, 5:20 am
IenjoyAcidPops's Avatar
IenjoyAcidPops  Male.gif IenjoyAcidPops is offline
Seventh Year
 
Joined: 4065 days
Location: The Angry Dome
Age: 29
Posts: 1,728
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

And the Dursleys depart (this is, of course, just after the appearance of the title):


INT. #4 PRIVET DRIVE - THE DURSLEYS' HOUSE - SITTING ROOM
FADE IN
HARRY walks into the room as UNCLE VERNON paces, lost in thought. AUNT PETUNIA and DUDLEY sit on the couch waiting, surrounded by bags and suitcases; the sitting room is almost entirely empty.

HARRY
What is it this time?

VERNON
I've changed my mind.

HARRY
(sarcastic) There's a surprise.

PETUNIA
Do not take that tone -

VERNON
Now, now, Petunia. Well, boy, you claim this Lord..Voldything -

HARRY
Lord Voldemort, and we've been through this before; it's not a claim, it's a fact. He's been back for two years, and almost all The Order of the Phoenix are convinced that as the protection that keeps this place safe as long as I call it home runs out right when I turn 17, he'll be coming after you as soon as possible - whether it's to get information on me or because he thinks he can have at me by luring me here to save you.

Harry's and Vernon's eyes meet for a moment here, both clearly wondering the same thing.

HARRY
You need to go into hiding, and you're being offered the best protection there is. Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle are more than capable.

VERNON
Well, what am I to do about work - and Dudley's school?!

HARRY
None of that matters! Don't you understand, all this stuff that's been happening, the accidents, the disappearances, the deaths, it's all because of him. Even this mist - that's caused by the dementors; they're breeding. And if you don't remember what those are ask your son, he almost had his soul sucked out by one.

VERNON
Alright, alright, you've made your point!

HARRY
I hope so.

DUDLEY
Dementors...I didn't know there were more of them. (pause) Dad, I'm going with these Order people.

HARRY
Smartest thing you've ever said, Dudley.

And this seems to have made the decision for Vernon and Petunia as well, as the doorbell rings. Harry answers it to greet HESTIA JONES and DEDALUS DIGGLE of THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX.

DEDALUS
Mr. Potter.

HESTIA
Hello, Harry.

HARRY
Hi guys, thanks for doing this.

DEDALUS
Oh, not at all, not at all. Well (stepping over the threshold followed by Hestia), good evening Harry Potter's relatives!

It appears the Dursleys do not enjoy being greeted thus.

DEDALUS
Harry's told you the plan, then? (The Dursleys nod - Vernon grunts slightly - in affirmation.) Excellent; well, then, shall we be off?

Although they stand at the ready, the Dursleys make no movement forward.

HESTIA
Oh, perhaps we should give them a moment alone.

DEDALUS
Oh yes, of course.

HARRY
No, really, there's no need.

HESTIA
Well, surely you'd want to see each other off; you are family, after all.

HARRY
Well, they don't think of me as family so much as a waste of space.

DUDLEY
I don't think you're a waste of space.

Somewhat shocked looks from Vernon, Petunia, and especially Harry follow this statement.

HARRY
Oh...well, thanks, Dudley.

Dudley seems to be looking for the right words to convey his feelings before he says:

DUDLEY
You saved my life.

Dudley walks forward a bit and reaches out his hand to shake Harry's.

HARRY
(shaking it in return) Blimey, Dudley, did the dementors blow a different personality into you?

DUDLEY
Dunno. Well, see you, Harry.

HARRY
...yeah, maybe.

Petunia takes this moment to walk over and hug/suffocate her son, sobbing "Dudders, that was so sweet".

VERNON
Well, are we going or not?

DEDALUS
Yes, we ought to be. We'll leave these things (pointing his wand to the luggage and sending it vanishing) waiting for us). And (shaking Harry's hand himself) good luck to you, Mr. Potter.

HESTIA
Our hopes lie with you.

HARRY
Er..right...

Dedalus and Hestia walk out followed by Vernon, who turns to give Harry a cursory "Goodbye, boy". Dudley escapes his mother's grip to follow after him, but Petunia remains hovering just outside the doorway, apparently wanting to say something herself.

PETUNIA
I-w-goodbye, then.

HARRY
Goodbye.






__________________
Veronica Mars is smarter than me.
(And her movie is available now!)


Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; March 20th, 2008 at 9:48 pm.
Reply With Quote
  #127  
Old February 13th, 2008, 6:59 am
ArryGrotter's Avatar
ArryGrotter  Male.gif ArryGrotter is offline
Too... Much... Fangirling...
 
Joined: 4803 days
Location: Auckland, NZ
Age: 26
Posts: 3,281
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

I'm so sorry I haven't been dedicated to this thread and I'm sory that I haven't been updating, but I'm afraid to say... I DO have a life!

Anyway...

I finally decided to write a bit more of PS (Maybe it was because the writer's strike was over). It's my lengthy first draft version, so PLEASE don't say "It's tooooooooooooooo long" cos I haven't got around to cutting things yet (That's stage 2)

So...

Here it is:    


  
PS: The Journey from Platform 9 3/4, The Sorting HatEXT. LAKE - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years (Harry, Ron, Hermione, NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, DEAN THOMAS, SEAMUS FINNIGAN, PARVATI PATIL, LAVENDER BROWN, Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, PANSY PARKINSON, BLAISE ZABINI, THEODORE NOTT, MILLICENT BULSTRODE, DAPHNE GREENGRASS, TRACEY DAVIS, PADMA PATIL, MICHAEL CORNER, ANTHONY GOLDSTEIN, TERRY BOOT, MANDY BROCKLEHURST, MORAG MCDOUGAL, LISA TURPIN, SU LI, STEPHEN CORNFOOT, KEVIN ENTWHISTLE, ERNIE MACMILLIAN, HANNAH ABBOTT, SUSAN BONES, JUSTIN FINCH-FLECHTLEY, MEGAN JONES, WAYNE HOPKINS , SALLY-ANN PERKS, plus 4 OTHER BOYS and 5 OTHER GIRLS) all gaze across the lake at a magnificent sight.

(^I might be a slight bit pedantic)

A castle with seven floors and seven towers stands upon the cliff face: Hogwarts.

INT. UNDERGROUND HARBOUR - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

The boats sail smoothly into the harbour and, once the boats moor, the first-years hop out.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oy, you there! Is this your toad?

Neville Longbottom turns back to see Hagrid scooping a toad out of one of the boats.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Trevor!

Most of the other first-years laugh. Neville takes Trevor, rather embrassingly.

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Hagrid and the first-years come out from a passageway and make their way towards a huge, oak door.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Everyone here?
(To Neville)
You there, still got yer toad?

Neville nods. Hagrid raises an enormous fist and knocks the door.
It swings opens at once to show a very stern woman waiting for them. It is Minerva McGonagall, 10 years older.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
The firs' years, Professor McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here.

INT. ENTRANCE HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years follow McGonagall inside. Hagrid slips through a large doorway to the right and Harry notices that the rest of the school is in there.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting. I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly.

(NB: I will defianatly cut some of that)

McGonagall also goes through the right hand doorway (to the Great Hall).

HARRY POTTER
How exactly do they sort us into houses?

RON WEASLEY
Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking.

Harry looks a bit scared at this prospect. Everyone is quiet, except...

HERMIONE GRANGER
I wonder which spell we’ll be tested on. Maybe we’ll need to -

But her eyes suddenly widen. Harry jumps and few people scream.

Twenty ghosts, transparent and pearly white in colour, glide thorough the wall the wall and through the marble staircase.

FAT FRIAR
Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance -

NEARLY-HEADLESS NICK
'My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost -
(Noticing the first-years)
I say, what are you all doing here?

No one answers.

FAT FRIAR
New students! About to be Sorted, I suppose?

A few fist-years nod or smile

FAT FRIAR (CONT’D)
Hope to see you in Hufflepuff! My old house, you know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Move along now. The Sorting Ceremony's about to start.

McGonagall returns and the ghosts glide along the corridor opposote the Great Hall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Now, follow me.

Harry and Ron get into line and walk through the right hand doors to...

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

...the Great Hall. Thousands of candles float near the ceiling which looks like the sky outside.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(To the person next to her)
Its bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History.

On either side of the first-years are two long tables of students and right up the front, a table of staff.

Near the staff table is a patched and frayed pointed hat, sitting atop a three legged stool. Everyone in the hall stares at it.

Suddenly, miraculously, a rip appeared and the hat begins to sing.

SORTING HAT
Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, But don't judge on what you see, I'll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me. You can keep your bowlers black, Your top hats sleek and tall, For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat And I can cap them all. There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see, So try me on and I will tell you Where you ought to be. You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart; You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil; Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind; Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends. So put me on! Don't be afraid! And don't get in a flap! You're in safe hands, though I have none For I'm a Thinking Cap!

The whole hall applauds.

RON WEASLEY
So we've just got to try on the hat! I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hannah Abbot.

(I don't have a clue how to format this scene to my liking but this is my best go at it)

LATER

Hannah sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Susan Bones.

LATER

Susan now sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Terry Boot.

SORTING HAT (V.O.)
Ravenclaw!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Mandy Brocklehurst.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Millicent Bulstrode

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Michael Corner

LATER

Michael sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

LATER

Vincent Crabbe sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Tracey Davis sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Justin Finch-Fletchly sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Hufflepuff

LATER

The amount of first-years have thinned.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hermione Granger.

Hermione almost runs to the stool and jams the hat on her head.

A moment’s pause. Then...

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Ron groans.

LATER

Neville sits anxiously on the stool with the sorting hat on. It opens it’s rip... but closes it. Again this happens. The hat looks down at Neville and Neville looks even more anxious then finally...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Gryffindor!

Neville runs off towards the Gryffindor table, amongst laughter still wearing the hat.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Draco Malfoy.

Draco comes forward. He is not even sitting down and the hat is barely touching his head, when...

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

Draco goes toward the Slytherin table, very pleased with himself.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Pansy Parkinson.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Padma Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Parvati Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Sally-Anne Perks.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Harry Potter.

The hall suddenly goes quiet, then erupts with conversations.
Harry sits down on the stool and the hat is placed on his head. A small voice can be heard.

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Hmm... Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes - and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting... So where shall I put you?

With all his might, Harry thinks:

HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
Not Slytherin... Not Slytherin...

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that - no? Well, if you're sure - better be...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
(To everyone in the hall)
Gryffindor!

Everyone cheers. Harry looks to Ron as he passes the line of first-years still to be sorted and sees him clapping, but looking nervous. At the Gryffindor table, Ron’s brothers chant.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

FRED WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

Harry sits near to the ghost he saw earlier (Nearly-Headless Nick) who pats him on the shoulder. Harry shivers as he does so.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

Lisa Turpin goes towards the Ravenclaw table.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Ron Weasley.

Ron, pale sits on the stool. Harry crosses his fingers.

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Harry claps loudy. Ron makes his way towards the Gryfindor table and sits next to Harry.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(In the background)
Blaise Zabini

One of Ron’s brother’s leans across Harry.

PERCY WEASLEY
(Pompously)
Well done, Ron, excellent.

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

McGonagall rolls up her scroll of parchment and takes away the stool. Harry stares hungrily at his empty plate.
At the staff table, Albus Dumbledore (10 years older) gets to his feet.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you.

Harry stares blankly at Dunbledore.

HARRY POTTER
Is he - a bit mad?

PERCY WEASLEY
Mad? He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?

Harry looks shocked and surprised. Almost anything possibly edible is now lying on the once empty table. Harry piles up his plate.
  



Reply With Quote
  #128  
Old February 23rd, 2008, 2:06 am
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

While posting in the HBP Thread I realize I for some reason stop posting here

Ok a fair warning before you read this....yes I cut out Harry going to the RoR...why...because at the time I had no idea it would turn out to be important...guess I suck at clues and suck lol

Of course if I have the chance to do a rewrite I will of course add the scene back in...but it's still cool to see where my mind was on cuts pre-DH and how many things I will now change...tell me what you guys think.

caption:    


  INT. THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

All the houses are in the Great Hall having dinner. Lavender is sitting down the table glaring at Hermione. Hermione clears her throat and proceeds to eat her dinner and Ron turns to Harry.

RON
We split up Harry, when she saw me coming out of the dormitory with Hermione. She couldn’t see you because of the cloak, been giving me the evil eye all morning..

HARRY
Well you don’t mind it’s over, do you?

RON
No, it was pretty bad while she was yelling, but atleast I didn’t have to finish it

HERMIONE
Coward! Well, it was a bad night for romance all around. Ginny and Dean broke up as well.

(She gives Harry a slight smile)

HARRY
Really? Why?

HERMIONE
Something silly about him always trying to help her through the portrait hole.

Harry looks over at Dean who is picking angrily at his food and then see’s a group of people around Katie Bell who finally just returned from the hospital.

HERMIONE
Glad to see Katie’s doing better. Did you talk to her?

HARRY
Yeah, she doesn’t remember anything. Just great. Still have no idea what Malfoy is up too…maybe I could take another sip of Felix…

HERMIONE
Harry that’ll be a waste of potion. You’ll need all the luck you can get if Dumbledore takes you along with him…

Ginny walks into the Great Hall in a hurry and stops to talk to them

GINNY
Hey guys.

RON
Well where have you been?

GINNY
Have you not figured it out yet Ron that I don’t have to tell you anything.

RON
You need to watch your mouth!

HARRY
Ron lay off. Ginny, are you…ok?

GINNY
Yeah I’m fine,. Can’t stay
(She grabs a piece of food.)
Have class, later.

She starts to walk off and once again we see Harry with a struggling look on his face. His friendship or his heart, which would he choose? Should he ask her, is now the right time?

HARRY
(He jumps up)
GINNY!

GINNY
Yes Harry?

HARRY
I…um…I…nevermind.

GINNY
(She smiles)
Whenever you’re ready Harry.

INT. DARK CORRIDOR/BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT

Harry is walking down a dark corridor alone. He hears crying off in the distance and goes to see whats wrong. The sound is coming from the Boys Bathroom. Harry walk towards the boys bathroom and peaks his head in the door and we sees Draco on the floor crying and Moaning Mrytle beside him.

MOANING MYRTLE
Don’t…please…tell me what’s wrong…I can help you.

DRACO
No one can help me now, I can’t do it. It won’t work…and unless I do it soon…he says he’ll kill me.

Harry moves his foot and there’s a creak. Malfoy looks up in the mirror and see’s Harry standing there. He quickly pulls out his wand and a spell flies off his wand hitting the wall beside Harry. Harry pulls out his wand and throws out a spell and Malfoy blocks it.

MOANING MYRTLE
STOP! STOP IT BOTH OF YOU!

Malfoy throws another non verbal spell that Harry ducks and it explodes the toilet behind him. Harry throws a spell that Malfoy jumps out of the way and it goes through Mytle who screams.

DRACO
I’ve had enough of your meddling Potter!

HARRY
So finish it then!

MALFOY
Crucio!

Harry ducks behind into a stall and narrowly avoids the curse.

HARRY
(He takes a deep breath and quickly points his wand at Malfoy)
EXPELLIARMUS!

DRACO
PROTEGO!

The spell deflects back onto Harry knocking him off of his feet. Harry immeditley jumps to his feet as Draco points his wand at him.

DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

Blood shots from Malfoys chest and some splatters on his face and on the mirror right behind him. He staggers back and collapses on the floor shaking as he bleeds heavily.

HARRY
No…I didn’t…

MOANING MYRTLE
MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!!!

The door flies open and Snape runs in. He looks at Harry and then quickly at Draco’s bloody body on the floor. He runs and kneels down to Malfoy. He pulls out his wand and starts to mutter an incantation under his breathe. The blood flow starts to stop and we see the wounds knitting themselves. He helps Malfoy up, who is slouching in pain still.

SNAPE
You need the hospital wing.
(Malfoy puts his arm around Snapes neck and they begin to walk out of the bathroom.)
And you Potter…you wait here for me.

They walk out of the door and the scene cuts to Harry staring at the mirror in the bathroom with a look of shock still in his eyes. He can’t believe he almost killed Malfoy. Snape walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

HARRY
I didn’t mean it to happen, I didn’t know what that spell did.

SNAPE
Apparently I underestimated you, Potter. Who would have thought you knew such Dark Magic? Who taught you that spell?

HARRY
I…read it somewhere.

SNAPE
Where?

HARRY
It was a library book, I can’t remember what it was called.

SNAPE
(Snape stares at him for a second, Harry realizing he’s looking into his mind looks away suddenly.)
You know what I think, Potter? I think you are a liar and a cheat and that you will pay for what you’ve done.

They stare at each other for a second and the scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting outside of Hogwarts.

EXT. COURTYARD-AFTERNOON

HARRY
I got detention every Saturday until the end of term, I’m going to miss the last match of the year.

HERMIONE
You’re lucky that’s all you got. I won’t say I told you so…

RON
Leave it, Hermione.

HERMIONE
I told you there was something wrong with that Prince person Harry and I was right wasn’t I?

HARRY
No, I don’t think you were.

HERMIONE
How can you still stick up for that book when that spell…

HARRY
The Prince only copied it out Hermione! It’s not like he was advising anyone to use it!

Ginny walks up towards them.

GINNY
What’s going on?

HERMIONE
He’s defending that Prince person when I’ve told him since day one it was bad news!

HARRY
Without the Prince I’d never have won the Felix Felicis. I’d never have known how to save Ron from poisoning, I’d never have…

HERMIONE
Got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don’t deserve!

GINNY
Give it a rest Hermione! By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!

HERMIONE
Of course I’m glad he wasn’t cursed, but you can’t call that Sectumsempra spell good, look where it’s landed him Ginny! And I’d have thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match…

GINNY
Oh don’t start acting like you understand Quidditch you’ll only embarrass yourself.

Hermione and Ginny stare at each other angrily and Hermione grabs her books and storms off. Harry looks worried because this is the first time Hermione and Ginny ever disagreed.
  



Quote:
Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
I'm so sorry I haven't been dedicated to this thread and I'm sory that I haven't been updating, but I'm afraid to say... I DO have a life!

Anyway...

I finally decided to write a bit more of PS (Maybe it was because the writer's strike was over). It's my lengthy first draft version, so PLEASE don't say "It's tooooooooooooooo long" cos I haven't got around to cutting things yet (That's stage 2)

So...

Here it is:    


  
PS: The Journey from Platform 9 3/4, The Sorting HatEXT. LAKE - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years (Harry, Ron, Hermione, NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, DEAN THOMAS, SEAMUS FINNIGAN, PARVATI PATIL, LAVENDER BROWN, Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, PANSY PARKINSON, BLAISE ZABINI, THEODORE NOTT, MILLICENT BULSTRODE, DAPHNE GREENGRASS, TRACEY DAVIS, PADMA PATIL, MICHAEL CORNER, ANTHONY GOLDSTEIN, TERRY BOOT, MANDY BROCKLEHURST, MORAG MCDOUGAL, LISA TURPIN, SU LI, STEPHEN CORNFOOT, KEVIN ENTWHISTLE, ERNIE MACMILLIAN, HANNAH ABBOTT, SUSAN BONES, JUSTIN FINCH-FLECHTLEY, MEGAN JONES, WAYNE HOPKINS , SALLY-ANN PERKS, plus 4 OTHER BOYS and 5 OTHER GIRLS) all gaze across the lake at a magnificent sight.

(^I might be a slight bit pedantic)

A castle with seven floors and seven towers stands upon the cliff face: Hogwarts.

INT. UNDERGROUND HARBOUR - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

The boats sail smoothly into the harbour and, once the boats moor, the first-years hop out.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Oy, you there! Is this your toad?

Neville Longbottom turns back to see Hagrid scooping a toad out of one of the boats.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Trevor!

Most of the other first-years laugh. Neville takes Trevor, rather embrassingly.

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS - EVENING
(1/9/1991)

Hagrid and the first-years come out from a passageway and make their way towards a huge, oak door.

RUBEUS HAGRID
Everyone here?
(To Neville)
You there, still got yer toad?

Neville nods. Hagrid raises an enormous fist and knocks the door.
It swings opens at once to show a very stern woman waiting for them. It is Minerva McGonagall, 10 years older.

RUBEUS HAGRID (CONT’D)
The firs' years, Professor McGonagall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here.

INT. ENTRANCE HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

The first-years follow McGonagall inside. Hagrid slips through a large doorway to the right and Harry notices that the rest of the school is in there.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting. I shall return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly.

(NB: I will defianatly cut some of that)

McGonagall also goes through the right hand doorway (to the Great Hall).

HARRY POTTER
How exactly do they sort us into houses?

RON WEASLEY
Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking.

Harry looks a bit scared at this prospect. Everyone is quiet, except...

HERMIONE GRANGER
I wonder which spell we’ll be tested on. Maybe we’ll need to -

But her eyes suddenly widen. Harry jumps and few people scream.

Twenty ghosts, transparent and pearly white in colour, glide thorough the wall the wall and through the marble staircase.

FAT FRIAR
Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance -

NEARLY-HEADLESS NICK
'My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost -
(Noticing the first-years)
I say, what are you all doing here?

No one answers.

FAT FRIAR
New students! About to be Sorted, I suppose?

A few fist-years nod or smile

FAT FRIAR (CONT’D)
Hope to see you in Hufflepuff! My old house, you know.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Move along now. The Sorting Ceremony's about to start.

McGonagall returns and the ghosts glide along the corridor opposote the Great Hall.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Now, follow me.

Harry and Ron get into line and walk through the right hand doors to...

INT. GREAT HALL - HOGWARTS - EVENING
(CONTINUOUS ACTION) (1/9/1991)

...the Great Hall. Thousands of candles float near the ceiling which looks like the sky outside.

HERMIONE GRANGER
(To the person next to her)
Its bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History.

On either side of the first-years are two long tables of students and right up the front, a table of staff.

Near the staff table is a patched and frayed pointed hat, sitting atop a three legged stool. Everyone in the hall stares at it.

Suddenly, miraculously, a rip appeared and the hat begins to sing.

SORTING HAT
Oh, you may not think I'm pretty, But don't judge on what you see, I'll eat myself if you can find A smarter hat than me. You can keep your bowlers black, Your top hats sleek and tall, For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat And I can cap them all. There's nothing hidden in your head The Sorting Hat can't see, So try me on and I will tell you Where you ought to be. You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart; You might belong in Hufflepuff, Where they are just and loyal, Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil; Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind; Or perhaps in Slytherin You'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means To achieve their ends. So put me on! Don't be afraid! And don't get in a flap! You're in safe hands, though I have none For I'm a Thinking Cap!

The whole hall applauds.

RON WEASLEY
So we've just got to try on the hat! I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hannah Abbot.

(I don't have a clue how to format this scene to my liking but this is my best go at it)

LATER

Hannah sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Susan Bones.

LATER

Susan now sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Hufflepuff!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Terry Boot.

SORTING HAT (V.O.)
Ravenclaw!

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Mandy Brocklehurst.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Millicent Bulstrode

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Michael Corner

LATER

Michael sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

LATER

Vincent Crabbe sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Tracey Davis sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Slytherin!

LATER

Justin Finch-Fletchly sits apon the stool with the sorting hat on.

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Hufflepuff

LATER

The amount of first-years have thinned.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Hermione Granger.

Hermione almost runs to the stool and jams the hat on her head.

A moment’s pause. Then...

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Ron groans.

LATER

Neville sits anxiously on the stool with the sorting hat on. It opens it’s rip... but closes it. Again this happens. The hat looks down at Neville and Neville looks even more anxious then finally...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
Gryffindor!

Neville runs off towards the Gryffindor table, amongst laughter still wearing the hat.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Draco Malfoy.

Draco comes forward. He is not even sitting down and the hat is barely touching his head, when...

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

Draco goes toward the Slytherin table, very pleased with himself.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Pansy Parkinson.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Padma Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Parvati Patil.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Sally-Anne Perks.

LATER

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (CONT’D)
Harry Potter.

The hall suddenly goes quiet, then erupts with conversations.
Harry sits down on the stool and the hat is placed on his head. A small voice can be heard.

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Hmm... Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes - and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting... So where shall I put you?

With all his might, Harry thinks:

HARRY POTTER (V.O.)
Not Slytherin... Not Slytherin...

SORTING HAT (O.S.)
Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that - no? Well, if you're sure - better be...

SORTING HAT (CONT’D)
(To everyone in the hall)
Gryffindor!

Everyone cheers. Harry looks to Ron as he passes the line of first-years still to be sorted and sees him clapping, but looking nervous. At the Gryffindor table, Ron’s brothers chant.

GEORGE WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

FRED WEASLEY
We’ve got Potter!

Harry sits near to the ghost he saw earlier (Nearly-Headless Nick) who pats him on the shoulder. Harry shivers as he does so.

SORTING HAT
Ravenclaw!

Lisa Turpin goes towards the Ravenclaw table.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
Ron Weasley.

Ron, pale sits on the stool. Harry crosses his fingers.

SORTING HAT
Gryffindor!

Harry claps loudy. Ron makes his way towards the Gryfindor table and sits next to Harry.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL
(In the background)
Blaise Zabini

One of Ron’s brother’s leans across Harry.

PERCY WEASLEY
(Pompously)
Well done, Ron, excellent.

SORTING HAT
Slytherin!

McGonagall rolls up her scroll of parchment and takes away the stool. Harry stares hungrily at his empty plate.
At the staff table, Albus Dumbledore (10 years older) gets to his feet.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you.

Harry stares blankly at Dunbledore.

HARRY POTTER
Is he - a bit mad?

PERCY WEASLEY
Mad? He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?

Harry looks shocked and surprised. Almost anything possibly edible is now lying on the once empty table. Harry piles up his plate.
  

Ok I won't say it's to long But all those people being sorted..yeah..change that lol


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."
Reply With Quote
  #129  
Old February 23rd, 2008, 9:07 pm
IenjoyAcidPops's Avatar
IenjoyAcidPops  Male.gif IenjoyAcidPops is offline
Seventh Year
 
Joined: 4065 days
Location: The Angry Dome
Age: 29
Posts: 1,728
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Alright, maybe this thread isn't dead after all! I'd hope not, for one, I've only posted 3 of my scenes from HBP and 2 from DH. Anyway, Phrozenone, I liked your Sectumsempra (although, yeah, the Room of Requirement is very missed); here are just a few nits to pick:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
HERMIONE
Coward!
For some reason, I cannot hear Emma's reading of this. I guess I'd suggest an eyeroll and a small exasperated sigh as Ron's talking before she moves on to Ginny and Dean?

Quote:
RON
Well where have you been?

GINNY
Have you not figured it out yet Ron that I don’t have to tell you anything.

RON
You need to watch your mouth!

HARRY
Ron lay off.
I don't think this is necessary. I would say just have Ginny come in, then Harry ask her if she's okay.

Quote:
HARRY
(He takes a deep breath and quickly points his wand at Malfoy)
EXPELLIARMUS!
Here's my take: have Harry take the short deep breath before Sectumsempra; he has no idea what the spell is, or what effect it'll have, but hey, he also doesn't know what Malfoy's up to, and it did say "For Enemies". I think it'd work better there.

It's a pretty nice script overall, Phrozenone; I mean, there's a fair amount of dialogue in need of adjustment, I think (like we were talking about after my Spinner's End, fitting things to actors you're writing for), and some stuff along the way that seems unneeded or kind of random (like that bit with Ron/Ginny I pointed out, for one), but good. Of course, there's a lot of stuff you and I disagree on; for instance, I cut Bill/Fleur, I have Slughorn's intro at Budleigh Babberton, and I changed the timing and placement of certain things - but that's not error of writing, obviously.

(By the way, have you - or anyone, I guess - read the other HBP and DH pages I've posted? I'd certainly appreciate your thoughts.)


__________________
Veronica Mars is smarter than me.
(And her movie is available now!)


Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; February 24th, 2008 at 12:42 am.
Reply With Quote
  #130  
Old February 24th, 2008, 1:14 am
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by IenjoyAcidPops View Post
For some reason, I cannot hear Emma's reading of this. I guess I'd suggest an eyeroll and a small exasperated sigh as Ron's talking before she moves on to Ginny and Dean?
I agree actually..maybe I should insert *move eyebrows frantically with a deep inhale* before the line. That'll work great for Emma

Quote:
I don't think this is necessary. I would say just have Ginny come in, then Harry ask her if she's okay.
Point well taken

Quote:
Here's my take: have Harry take the short deep breath before Sectumsempra; he has no idea what the spell is, or what effect it'll have, but hey, he also doesn't know what Malfoy's up to, and it did say "For Enemies". I think it'd work better there.
I hear what you're saying. I think I was kind of going for what he did in the graveyard scene with Voldemort since this is his signature spell and all...but you're absolutely right.

Quote:
It's a pretty nice script overall, Phrozenone; I mean, there's a fair amount of dialogue in need of adjustment, I think (like we were talking about after my Spinner's End, fitting things to actors you're writing for), and some stuff along the way that seems unneeded or kind of random (like that bit with Ron/Ginny I pointed out, for one), but good. Of course, there's a lot of stuff you and I disagree on; for instance, I cut Bill/Fleur, I have Slughorn's intro at Budleigh Babberton, and I changed the timing and placement of certain things - but that's not error of writing, obviously.
Thank you

And yeah you're right and actually we DO agree on those things. This is actually my 3rd revision of my HBP script. I've done one with no Bill/Fluer at all (Honestly the only reason I have Bill in this one was because I didn't know how he would play out in DH and if the werewolf thing would be huge....since of course it isn't he'll never grace my scripts again ) I had the meeting at Budleigh Babberton aswell originally.

I think it's very fun and interesting how many different ways you can shape one story. So no worries...I'm sure we're on the same page more than anything


Quote:
(By the way, have you - or anyone, I guess - read the other HBP and DH pages I've posted? I'd certainly appreciate your thoughts.)
Of course I have I'm just a lazy bum who takes his time before replying

Alright so here are a few things that stood out to me...

Quote:
HARRY
You need to go into hiding, and you're being offered the best protection there is. Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle are more than capable.
Do we honestly need to know their names...and better yet..do they have to have lines? lol I mean honestly I like this scene but this seems like a case of 'Introducing names that play nothing in the end...' kinda like Yaxly in your DH script.

ALTHOUGH I guess it makes it more personal (I would still give the extra's these names in the credits not Order Member 14 )

Overall though good job as usual Did you ever get to read the bits of my DH script I posted a while back?


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."
Reply With Quote
  #131  
Old February 24th, 2008, 1:29 am
IenjoyAcidPops's Avatar
IenjoyAcidPops  Male.gif IenjoyAcidPops is offline
Seventh Year
 
Joined: 4065 days
Location: The Angry Dome
Age: 29
Posts: 1,728
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
And yeah you're right and actually we DO agree on those things. This is actually my 3rd revision of my HBP script. I've done one with no Bill/Fluer at all (Honestly the only reason I have Bill in this one was because I didn't know how he would play out in DH and if the werewolf thing would be huge....since of course it isn't he'll never grace my scripts again ) I had the meeting at Budleigh Babberton aswell originally.
Ah, alright; that makes sense.

Quote:
Do we honestly need to know their names...and better yet..do they have to have lines? lol I mean honestly I like this scene but this seems like a case of 'Introducing names that play nothing in the end...' kinda like Yaxly in your DH script.
No, we don't need their names; I thought about not giving them any, but I guess I'm just not so comfortable with having them totally anonymous. And they kind of have to have lines, I think, to segue into Dudley's little moment here. As for Yaxley, well, see he only appears in this one sequence, so that suggestion I've heard about replacing him with Bella doesn't really boost her role; that and I want to keep as much as possible the idea that the Death Eaters are basically an army; not all of them need to either big players or extras, you know?

Quote:
Overall though good job as usual
As usual? Wow, thanks.

Quote:
I agree actually..maybe I should insert *move eyebrows frantically with a deep inhale* before the line. That'll work great for Emma
Somehow I knew that was coming.

Quote:
Did you ever get to read the bits of my DH script I posted a while back?
I believe I've read all of your DH stuff; that was in December, right? I remember I went on about how much I liked your execution of the Dumbledore/Grindelwald duel, even if I don't think we should see such a sequence, for one thing.


__________________
Veronica Mars is smarter than me.
(And her movie is available now!)


Last edited by IenjoyAcidPops; February 24th, 2008 at 1:47 am.
Reply With Quote
  #132  
Old March 4th, 2008, 11:12 pm
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Yeah so I'm being lazy today so I'll just wrap this excert in Quote tags I'm almost near the finish!

Quote:
INT. CORRIDOR/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM

The scene cuts a shot of Hogwarts and we see in the distance a game of Quidditch is being played, the scene then fades to Harry walking towards the Commom Room alone. The portrait swings open and a crowd of cheering Gryffindor washes over him. We see Ron in the midst.

RON
(He runs up to Harry.)
WE WON!!!! It was amazing Harry, we won!
(He holds up the silver cup at Harry.)

HARRY
That’s great.

GINNY
Harry!

Ginny runs up to him and proceeds to hug him and he grabs her and kisses her. Everyone stops cheering and stares at them as they kiss each other. They stop and stare into each other’s eyes. We see Dean shattering a glass in his hand, Romilda Vane looking furious, and Harry looks at Ron holding the cup. They stare at each other and Ron shrugs his shoulder and walks off. Everyone starts back talking and Harry and Ginny continue to kiss as the scene fades.

MONTAGE/2 WEEKS

Next we see a montage of them walking around the grounds holding hands, sitting together making jokes with Ron and Seamus, eating together in the Great Hall, kissing on the bridge, and holding each other under the stars in front of the lake.

INT-GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM/NIGHT

The scene then cuts to them walking together into the common room. She kisses him and runs past Ron who’s sitting on the couch. She smacks him on the head and runs upstairs.

RON
About time you two made it back.

HARRY
She has to study for her O.W.L’s, what are you doing?

RON
Herbology homework, I don’t understand how Neville gets this stuff.
(Hermione walks through the portrait.)
Hiya Hermione

HERMIONE
Hi…Harry I want to talk to you.

HARRY
What about?

HERMIONE
The so-called Half Blood Prince.

HARRY
Hermione can’t you just drop it?

HERMIONE
No, not until you’ve heard me out. Now, I’ve been trying to find out a bit about who might make a hobby of inventing Dark spells…

HARRY
He didn’t make a hobby of it.

HERMIONE
Who says it’s a he? Look at this.

(She opens a book and the camera shows a shot of a picture of a lady that says Eileen Prince, Captain of the Hogwarts Gobstones Team.)

HARRY
So?

HERMIONE
Her name was Eileen Prince. Prince, Harry.

HARRY
You think she was the Half Blood…come on Hermione!

HERMIONE
Well, why not? There aren’t any real princes in the Wizarding world, it’s either a nickname, a made up title, or it could be their actual name. If her father was a wizard whose surname was Prince, and her mother was a Muggle, then that would make her a ‘half-blood prince!”

HARRY
Hermione…you’re very ingenious, but I can tell it’s not a girl.

HERMIONE
You think a girl isn’t clever enough?

HARRY
How can I have hung around with you for five years and not think girls are clever?

Neville walks up to them holding a piece of parchment.

NEVILLE
This is for you Harry?
(Hands the parchment to Harry)

HARRY
Thanks Neville…it’s from Dumbledore!
( Harry opens it and reads.)
He wants me to go to his office as quick as I can!

HERMIONE
You don’t think he’s found a…

HARRY
Better go and see.

RON
Yeah good luck. Hey Neville, you think you can help me out a bit with this herbology…

INT-CORRIDOR-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walks quickly down the halls and then he hears a crash and scream and Harry runs down and around the corner and see’s Professor Trelawney.

HARRY
What happened Professor?

TRELAWNEY
Oh, nothing my dear boy, nothing nothing….

HARRY
Were you trying to get into the Room of Requirements Professor?

TRELAWNEY
What? I….well…didn’t know students knew about…

HARRY
Not all of them do, but what happeend?

TRELAWNEY
Well…I wished to...deposit certain…personal items in the room…

HARRY
But what happened?

TRELAWNEY
There was already somebody in there.

HARRY
What? Who?

TRELAWNEY
No idea my dear boy, I walked in, heard a voice…

HARRY
A voice? Saying what?

TRELAWNEY
I don’t know that it was saying anything…it was…whooping?

HARRY
Was it male or female?

TRELAWNEY
I would hazard a guess at male

HARRY
And he sounded happy? As though it was celebrating? Then what?

TRELAWNEY
It went pitch black and I was being hurled headfirst out of the room.

HARRY
I think you’d better tell Professor Dumbledore. He ought to know Malfoy’s celebrating…I mean, that someone threw you out of the room.

The scene cuts to to them walking towards Dumbledore’s office.

TRELAWNEY
I miss having you in my classes Harry, you were never much of a Seer..but you were a wonderful Object…

HARRY
Thanks. So how long have you been teaching here?

TRELAWNEY
Oh about 16 years now.
(she chuckles)
I remember my first interview with Dumbledore.

The scene goes into a flashback of Trelawney and Dumbledore sitting in a room in the Hogs Head.

TRELAWNEY
(Voiceover)
I was staying at the Hog’s Head and Dumbledore did me the courtesy of calling upon me in my room. He questioned me…and I rememeber I was starting to feel a bit odd

We see Trelawney in her psychic state and she’s quoting the prophecy from the last movie and Dumbledore is looking at her with amazement. There is a loud thud and Dumbledore gets up and opens the door.

TRELAWNEY
(Voiceover)
But then we were rudely interrupted by Severus Snape!

We see Snape standing the door way being held by one of the workers of the bar and we cut back to Harry and Trelawney walking.

HARRY
What?

TRELAWNEY
Yes, I’m afraid that I myself rather thought he had been apprehened eavesdropping on my interview. Anyways…after that I was offered the job and….Harry?
(He stopped walking and is staring with an anger in his eyes.)
Harry?

HARRY
You stay here…

TRELAWNEY
But dear..I was….

HARRY
You stay here!

He runs past her and the scene cuts to …

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry walking out of the spinning Gargoyle and he knocks hardly on Dumbledores door.

DUMBLEDORE
Enter.
(Harry bursts angrily into his office.)
Well, Harry, I promised that you could come with me.

HARRY
I…what? Come with you?

DUMBLEDORE
Only if you wish it.

HARRY
If I…. You’ve found one? You’ve found a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
I believe so.

HARRY
Which Horcrux is it? Where is it?

DUMBLEDORE
I’m not sure which it is, but I believe it to be hidden in a cave on the coast many miles from here, where Tom Riddle once terrorized two children from his orphanage on their annual trip; you remember?

HARRY
Yes, how is it protected?

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t know. I promised you that you could come with me, but it would be very wrong of me not to warn you that this will be exceedingly dangerous.

HARRY
I’m coming.

DUMBLEDORE
What has happened to you?

HARRY
Nothing.

DUMBLEDORE
Are you upset?

HARRY
No.

DUMBLEDORE
Harry, you were never a good Occlumens…

HARRY
(After hearing Occlumens Harry remembers why he originally came)
Snape’s what happened! He told Voldemort about the prophecy, it was him, he listenend outside the door, Trelawney told me! AND YOU LET HIM TEACH HERE AND HE TOLD VOLDEMORT TO GO AFTER MY MUM AND DAD!

DUMBLEDORE
Please listen to me Harry, Professor Snape made a terrible…

HARRY
Don’t tell me it was a mistake, sir, he was listening at the door!

DUMBLEDORE
Please let me finish. Professor Snape made a terrible mistake. He was still in Lord Voldemort’s employ on that night. He did not know which boy Voldemort would hunt from then onward, or that the parents he would destroy in his murderous quest were people that he knew, that they were your mother and father…

HARRY
HA! He hated my dad like he hated Sirius! Haven’t you noticed, Professor, how the people Snape hates tend to end up dead?

DUMBLEDORE
You have no idea the remorse Professor Snape felt when he realized how Lord Voldemort had interpreted the prophecy, Harry. I believe it to be his greatest regret of his life and the reason that he returned…

HARRY
But he’s a very good Occluments, isn’t he sir? And isn’t Voldemort convinced that Snape’s on his side, even now? How can you be sure Snape’s on our side?

DUMBLEDORE
(He pauses for a second.)
I am sure, I trust Severus Snape completely.

HARRY
Well I don’t! He’s up to something with Draco Malfoy right now, right under your nose. He’s trying to mend something dangerous in the Room of Requirement and if you ask me, he’s fixed it at last and you’re about to just walk out of school without…

DUMBLEDORE
That’s enough Harry! Do you think that I have once left the school unprotected during my absensces this year? Please do not suggest that I don’t take the safety of my students seriously, Harry.

HARRY
I didn’t….

DUMBLEDORE
I do not wish to discuss the matter any further, now do you wish to come with me tonight?

HARRY
Yes.

DUMBLEDORE
Well I will take you under one condition. Promise me that you will obey any command I might give you without question. If I say run, hide, go back you will do so.

HARRY
Yes, of course.

DUMBLEDORE
If I tell you to leave me and save yourself, you will do as I tell you?

HARRY
I….

DUMBLEDORE
Harry?

HARRY
(He stares at him for a second)
Yes, sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Very good, now I wish for you to go fetch your Invisitbility Cloak and meet me in the entrance hall in five minutes time.


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."
Reply With Quote
  #133  
Old March 7th, 2008, 8:58 am
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

hmmmmm no replies huh? Well I guess I'll just post more of the script then. This will be a long one so sit back and

Quote:
INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-LATER THAT NIGHT

The scene cuts to Harry in his room grabbing his Invisibility Cloak and some socks and he runs downstairs where Neville, Ron and Hermione are sitting.

HARRY
Here
(Throws socks at Ron)
It’s the Felix Felicis, Dumbledore and I are leaving so Malfoy’s going to have another clear shot at whatever he’s up to.

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry….

HARRY
No, just listen to me for once! Share it between yourselves and Ginny too. Say good-bye to her for me. Dumbledore’s waiting…

EXT. HOGSMEADE-LATER THAT NIGHT

Dumbledore and Harry who’s under his invisibility cloak, is walking in the night sky through Hogsmead. We see Madam Rosmerta kicking a wizard out of her shop.)

ROSMERTA
And stay out! Oh, hello there Albus…you’re out late.

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Rosmerta, forgive me I’m off to the Hog’s Head for a little drink.
(She watches him as he walks around the corner. He walks past the Hog’s Head and into a little side street.)
Place your hand upon my arm Harry. On the count of three…one…two…three…

There is a flash of light and the scene cuts to…

EXT. THE CAVE ENTRANCE-NIGHT

We see them Apparate and appear on the ledge surround by splashing water beneath them. Harry takes off his cloak as we see Dumbledore walk around. He starts to walk into the entrance and Harry follows.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

DUMBLEDORE
Yes yes, this is the place.

HARRY
How do you…

DUMBLEDORE
It has known magic. This is merely the antechamber, the entrance hall. We need to penetrate the inner place.
(Dumbledore touches the wall in front of him mumbling under his breath.)
Here, we go on through here. The entrance is concealed.
(He takes his wand and points it at the wall and an arched outline appears with blazing light coming from behind it.)

HARRY
You’ve done it!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes
(he stares at the wall for another moment)
So crude.

HARRY
What is it sir?

DUMBLEDORE
(He reaches into his rob and pulls out a silver knife.)
I think that we are required to make payment to pass.

HARRY
Payment?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, blood if I’m not mistaken.

HARRY
Blood?

DUMBLEDORE
I said it was crude. The idea is that your enemy must weaken him or herself to enter. Once again, Tom fails to grasp that there are much more terrible things than physical injury.

HARRY
Is there someway we can avoid….

DUMBLEDORE
Sometimes, things are unavoidable.
(He pulls up the sleeve exposing his forearm and raises the knife.)

HARRY
Professor! I’ll do it, I’m….

Dumbledore swipes the knife down and we see blood splatter on the wall. The silver arch appears on the wall again but doesn’t fade and an opening appears where inside it is completely dark.

DUMBLEDORE
You are very kind Harry, but your blood is worth more than mine. After me.

INT. THE CAVE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Dumbledore holds up his wand as they walk into the hole. The camera pans to a wide shot of the great black lake that is in front of them. In the distance there is a faint green glow.

DUMBLEDORE
Let us walk. Be very careful not to step in the water and stay close to me.

They begin to walk across the ledge, their two wands are the only light we’re able to see. Dumbledore hand is scanning the walls as they walk.

HARRY
Professor, do you think the Horcrux is here?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, the question is, how do we get it?

HARRY
Couldn’t we just try a Summoning Charm.

DUMBLEDORE
Certainly we could, why don’t you do it?

HARRY
Oh..okay…
(Clears his throat)
Accio Horcrux!

There is an explosion and something jumps out of the water into the air and down very fast before we can see it. Harry jumps back shocked and hits the wall.

HARRY
What was that!?

DUMBLEDORE
Something, I think, that is ready to respond should we made an obvious attempt to get our hands on the Horcrux.

HARRY
Do you think we’re going to have to go into the lake?

DUMBLEDORE
Only if we are very unfortunate. You see Harry, I think the Horcrux is in the middle.

He points towards the misty green light in the center of the lake.

HARRY
So we’re going to have to cross the lake to get to it?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes
(Dumbledore stops and Harry runs into him and nearly falls into the water but Dumbledore grabs him.)
Sorry Harry, I should have given warning. I think I have found the place.

Dumbledore reaches around in mid air and as he does so moves closer to the water. He grabs his wand and taps on his fist that’s in midair and a thick green coppery chain appears out of thin air and is extended into the water from Dumbledore’s fist. He taps the chain and it begins to slide through his fist and making a soft rumble. A tiny boat soon appears above the surface moving towards them as the chain pulls it. Harry stares in shock at Dumbledore.

HARRY
How did you know that was there?

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces, sometimes very distinctive traces. I taught Tom Riddle, I know his style.

HARRY
Do you think the boat is safe sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I think so, Voldemort needed to create a means to cross the lake without attracting the wrath of those creatures he had placed within it in case he ever wanted to visit or remove his Horcrux.

The boat stops right in front of them.

HARRY
It doesn’t look like it was built for two people. Will it hold both of us? Will we be too heavy together?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort will not have cared about the weight, but about the amount of magical power that crossed his lake. I do not think you will count, Harry. Do you think Voldemort would expect a sixteen year old to reach this place? Now you first this time and be careful not to touch the water.

Harry stops into the boat followed by Dumbledore and the boat begins to move forward. Harry looks down into the water with his wand and a human hand appears.

HARRY
Professor! I think I saw a hand in the water!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I’m sure you did.

HARRY
So that thing that jumped out of the water? There are bodies in here!

DUMBLEDORE
Inferi Harry, but we don’t need to worry about them at the moment. There is nothing to be feared from a body any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

The boat gets closer to the island in the middle of the lake. There are more and more bodies in the water the closer they get and there’s a soft thud as the boat hits them.. The boat comes to a halt at the island of smooth rock and both Dumbledore and Harry get out of the boat onto the island. In the middle of it stands a pedastel where the light is coming from. They both approach the basin and look into it. Inside we see a emerald liquid emitting that phosphorescent glow.

HARRY
What is it?

DUMBLEDORE
Not sure.
(Dumbledore pulls back his sleeve and stretches his fingers towards the material but meets an invisible barrier.)
Interesting, I cannot touch it. There’s an invisible barrier.

He raises his wand and starts to do wand movements in over the basin. Nothing seems to happen as he continues to try.

HARRY
You think the Horcrux is in there, sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes…but how to reach it.
(He waves his wand again and a crystal goblet appears in midair and he grabs it.)
I can only conclude that this potion is supposed to be drunk. Only by drinking it can I empty the basin and see what lies in it’s depths.

HARRY
What? No! What if it kills you?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort would want to keep the person who reaches this island alive long enough to find out how they managed to get this far. Still, this potion must act in a way that will prevent me taking the Horcrux. Harry, it will be your job to make sure I keep drinking, even if you have to tip the potion into my mouth. You understand?

HARRY
But sir…

DUMBLEDORE
You swore to follow any command I give you did you not?

HARRY
Yes, but…

DUMBLEDORE
Well then you have my orders.

HARRY
But why can’t I drink it instead.

DUMBLEDORE
Because I’m much older, cleverer, and much less valuable. Now do I have your word?

HARRY
Couldn’t I just….

DUMBLEDORE
Your word, Harry!

Harry knods and without another word Dumbledore dips the Goblet into the substance and fills it to the brim and lifts it to his mouth. He drinks it all down as Harry watches in horror.

HARRY
Professor, how do you feel?

Dumbledore keeps his eyes closed as he dips the glass into the basin again and proceeds to drink again.

HARRY
Professor, can you hear me?
(Dumbledore frowns and his fingers start to lose grip of the cup. Harry grabs it and holds it steady.)
Sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t want…don’t make me…don’t like…want to stop…

HARRY
You can’t stop Professor, you’ve got to keep drinking remember?

Harry frowns as he forces the rest of the drink down Dumbledore’s throat. Harry then dips the cup back into the basin and fills it up.

DUMBLEDORE
No, no, no, no, I can’t, don’t make me…make it stop…make it stop…

HARRY
This’ll make it stop
(He dips the contents into Dumbledore’s mouth again and when Dumbledore swallows he lets out a scream.)
It’s alright Professor, it’s alright.
(He dips the cup into the basin again.)
You’re safe, I swear it isn’t real, take this...take this…(Dumbledore drinks again.)

DUMBLEDORE
It’s all my fault, I know I did wrong, I’ll never do it again, please make it stop. Don’t hurt them, please...hurt me instead.

HARRY
Here sir, drink this, you’ll be alright

Dumbledore obeys and drinks again as he starts to shake uncontrollably. He falls onto the ground screaming as Harry refills the cup.

DUMBLEDORE
Please, please, no…not that…I”ll do anything…

HARRY
We’re nearly there Professor, Drink it.

DUMBLEDORE
(He drinks again and screams out in terrible pain.)
I want to die! Make it stop…I want to die!

HARRY
Drink this Professor…

He gulps down another cup.

DUMBLEDORE
KILL ME! KILL ME!!

HARRY
This one will sir!
(He forces the drink down Dumbledore’s throat and with a gasp he rolls over on his face in silence.)
NO!
(Harry drops the cup and Harry grabs Dumbledore’s body as it lies there.)
You’re not dead, wake up...WAKE UP!
(He points his wand at Dumbledore’s chest.)
Rennervate!
(There’s a flash of red light but nothing happens.)
Sir…please…
(Dumbledore’s eyelids flicker.)
Sir? Are you…

DUMBLEDORE
Water.

HARRY
Water...yes…(he grabs the goblet and points his wand at it.) Aquamenti!

The goblet fills with water as Harry takes it over to Dumbledore and brought the glass to his lips, but it is empty.

HARRY
Wait...it was just in here…Aquamenti!

It fills again and as it approaces Dumbledore’s mouth disappears. Dumbledore breathing begins to fade and Harry looks around in panic. We see him run towards the lake and plunge the goblet into it and run over to Dumbledore. Harry tips the water into Dumbledore’s mouth until it is empty. He then runs to the lake again and dips the goblet. As he turns to leave he trips. The camera pans to shows a hand around one of Harry’s legs. Harry screams as it begins to pull him towards the water. The surface of the water isn’t calm anymore and the heads of men, woman, and children begin to emerge from the water. The army of Inferi start to climb onto the island from all sides moving slowly groaning loudly as if in pain.

HARRY
Petrificus Totalus!

He blasts the arm of the Inferi that was holding him and it lets go and falls into the water. Harry jumps up as the Inferi start to increase in numbers. As the Inferi crawl slowly towards him a look of horror feels Harry’s face. What does he do?

HARRY
PETRIFICUS TOTALUS! IMPEDIMENTA! INCARCEROUS!

Only a few Inferi are taken out by these spells as more and more start to rise out of the water. We even see baby Inferi crawling along towards him.

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA! SECTUMSEMPA!!!

Gashes appear in their bodies but there is no blood. They continue to walk slowly towards Harry. Groaning loudly! One crawls towards Dumbledore and Harry runs and kicks it off of him. One grabs his legs and he falls losing his wand. He screams as they begin to overtake him. One after another they pile on top of Harry as he screams out in pain! We see them covering him up and then there’s a blast of light. The Inferi are thrown from Harry and the camera pans to Dumbledore standing with his wand with a look of fury in his eyes.

DUMBLEDORE
Come to me Harry!

Harry grabs his wand and runs to Dumbleodre. Dumbledore casts another bright powerful spell at a few inferi as dozens more begin to slowly pile onto the island. The Inferi are tossed back as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s arm and pulls him close to him. Dumbledore raises his wand and there is a loud rumble and a ring of fire emerges from Dumbledore’s wand and surrounds him and Harry. Some Inferi are caught by the firely ring and moans in agony as its body is burned slowly. We see the Inferi bumping into each other blindly and some cowering away from the flame. Dumbledore reaches into the basin and pulls out locket from within. The flame starts to move faster around them and the camera pans out to show that we can’t see Harry or Dumbledore because the fire has formed a sort of cacoon around them. There’s a second of silence and BOOM the cacoon explodes outward knocking out a lot of the Inferi. They all crawl into the water and Dumbledore collapses..

HARRY
Sir..I forgot about fire…they were coming and I panicked…

DUMBLEDORE
That’s understandable
(His voice sounds very weak)
I am weak….

HARRY
Don’t worry sir…lean on me..I’ll get us back.
(Harry helps Dumbledore into the boat and it starts to move towards the shore on its own.)

DUMBLEDORE
I must say…the protection was well designed. One alone could not have done it…you did very well Harry.

The boat comes to a THUD and Harry jumps out the boat and helps Dumbledore out.

HARRY
Lumos!

Harry’s wand lights up and they walk along the shore. Dumbledore hand slowly follows the wall of the cave and he stops.

DUMBLEDORE
It is here. Looks like the gateway sealed itself again, my knife….

HARRY
There’s no need, I got cut on the rock. Just tell me where…

DUMBLEDORE
Here…

Harry wipes his forearm against the stone and the barrier is opened and they pass through it.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT

HARRY
It’s going to be all right sir…I can Appartate us both back….don’t worry…

DUMBLEDORE
Ah Harry, I’m not worried. I am with you.

EXT. HOGESMEADE-NIGHT (SECONDS LATER)

There is a shot of an empty street in Hogsmeades and then SWOOSH Harry and Dumbledore appear on the street

HARRY
We did it sir! We got the Horcrux.
(Dumledore leans against the wall.)
Sir are you all right?

DUMBLEDORE
(He sinks to the groud.)
Severus, I need Severus.

HARRY
But…

Madam Rosmerta runs quickly towards them from out of the darkness.

ROSMERTA
I saw you Apparate as I was pulling my bedroom curtains. What’s wrong with Albus?

HARRY
He’s hurt. Madam Rosmerta can he come into the Three Broomsticks while I go up to the school and get help for him?

ROSMERTA
You can’t go up there alone?

DUMBLEDORE
What’s wrong Rosmerta?

ROSMERTA
The….Dark Mark, Albus.

She points and the camera pans upwars towards Hogwarts and we see that the Dark Mark is floating over the school, the snake tying itself into a knot.

DUMBLEDORE
We need to return to the castle at once. Rosmerta, we need brooms…

The scene cuts to Harry and Dumbledore flying towards the castle. We see Dumbledore close his eyes and mutter an incantation and we see them pass through the barrier around Hogwarts. They land on the Astronomy Tower right under the mark.

EXT. ASTRONOMY TOWER-NIGHT

HARRY
Do you think that’s a real mark Professor, there’s no body…Professor?

DUMBLEDORE
Go and wake Severus Harry, tell him what happened and bring him to me.

HARRY
But sir…

DUMBLEDORE
You swore to obey me Harry…go!

Harry puts on his Invisibility Cloak and runs towards the door and freezes as he hears footsteps coming up them.

DUMBLEDORE
Get away from there Harry.

Harry backs up and we see Dumbledore point his wand at Harry and he falls back frozen just as we see someone run through the door and yell ‘Expellearmus’ and watches Dumbledore’s wand fly over the edge of the tower. We see a shot of the person from behind and we see Dumbledore’s face over their shoulder.

DUMBLEDORE

Well, Good Evening Draco.

The camera shifts showing a shot of Draco with his wand pointing at Dumbledore.

DRACO
Who else is here?

DUMBLEDORE
A question I might ask you. Or are you acting alone?

DRACO
No, I’ve got backup. There are Death Eaters here in your school tonight. I let them in right under your nose and you never realized. They’re having a fight down below with some of your guards…I came on ahead. I’ve got a job to do…

Draco holds his wand firmly and Dumbledore slouchs against the edge of the building, obviously weak and there is a shot of Harry struggling to move underneath the cloak.

DUMBLEDORE
Draco, you are not a killer.

DRACO
How do you know? You don’t know what I’ve done!

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, I do. You almost killed Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley in an attempt to kill me. Forgive me, but they have been feeble attempts…so tell me how did you manage to get them into my school.

DRACO
I had to mend that broken Vanishing Cabinet that no one’s used for years. There is a pair of them, one here and one in Borgin and Burkes and there’s a passage between them. If the passage is fixed…

DUMBLEDORE
Then it’s a one-way trip to Hogwarts straight from Knockturn Alley…Ingenious.

DRACO
Yes, I know!

DUMBLEDORE
You didn’t think you were going to suceed in mending the cabinet were you? You had to resort to crude measures such as sending me a cursed necklace that was bound to reach the wrong hands…poisoning mead there was only the slightest chance I might drink….

DRACO
You didn’t realize it was me!

DUMBLEDORE
I was sure it was you. I’ve had Professor Snape watcing over you…

DRACO
He hasn’t been doing your orders, he promised my mother! He’s a double agent!

DUMBLEDORE
Well it so happens that I trust Professor Snape….

DRACO
You’re losing your grib! He wants all the glory to himself, Snape. He’s been trying to help me all year, but I wouldn’t let him. He won’t be the Dark Lords favorite after tonight…

DUMBLEDORE
So Draco…how long has Rosmerta been under the Imperius Curse?

DRACO
How did you…?

DUMBLEDORE
Oh come dear boy someone had to have handed the necklace to Katie, and tonight how would you have known I left without her tipping you off? So Draco let us discuss your options…

DRACO
My Options! I’m standing here with a wand…I’m about to kill you…

DUMBLEDORE
My dear boy, if you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me.

DRACO
I haven’t got any options! I’ve got to do it! He’ll kill me! He’ll kill my whole family!

His wand is trembling in his hand now.

DUMBLEDORE
Come over to the right side Draco, we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. You and your mother, and when the times comes your father. You are not a killer…

The door bursts open and four people in Death Eater uniforms run through it and stand behind Draco.

AMYCUS
Dumbledore’s cornered, wandless, and alone! Well done, Draco!

DUMBLEDORE
Good evening, Amycus, and you’ve brought Alecto too. Charming.

ALECTO
Think your little jokes’ll help you on your deathbed then?

DUMBLEDORE
And is that you Fenrir?

GREYBACK
That’s right, pleased to see me, Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
Well...….no.

GREYBACK
(He smiles and blood trickles down his mouth.)
But you know how much I like kids, Dumbledore.

DUMBLEDORE
I am a little shocked that Draco here invited you into the school where his friends live…

DRACO
I didn’t…I didn’t know he was going to come….

GREYBACK
I wouldn’t miss a trip to Hogwarts Dumbledore, not when there are throats to be ripped out and I could do you for afters, Dumbledore!

AMYCUS
Look at him. What has happened to the great Dumbledore? Look like a weak fool to me. I don’t even know why the Dark Lord’s bothering to kill yer! Come on Draco, do it!

DRACO
I…I...

He tries to point his wand but it is shaken to furiously.

GREYBACK
I’ll do it!

AMYCUS
No! He must do it!

ALECTO
Do it or stand aside so one of us….

The door bursts open and in runs Snape. Harry’s eyes lighten with a slight look of excitement as Snape runs up to the Death Eaters, Draco, and Dumbledore with his wand at the ready.

AMYCUS
We’ve got a problem Snape, the boy doesn’t seem able…

DUMBLEDORE
Severus….

(Snape pushed Draco out of the way and stares down at Dumbledore.)

Severus…please…

SNAPE
(He points his wand at Dumbledore)

Avada Kadavra!

(The jet of green light comes from his wand knocking Dumbledore back and over the edge of the tower.)

Out of here, quickly.

He grabs Malfoy and they both walk out through the door. Greyback and two of the Death Eaters exit. Harry is now able to move so he jumps up from his cloak and points his wand at the last Death Eater that’s walking out of the door.

HARRY
Petrificus Totalus!
So who made it through all that huh? Funny thing is this is my first time in a while reading these scenes and I've just gotten SO excited for the HBP movie just now. Anyways my next post will be the rest of my HBP script so let me know what you guys think.


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."

Last edited by Phrozenone; March 7th, 2008 at 9:03 am.
Reply With Quote
  #134  
Old March 7th, 2008, 9:59 am
MasterOfDeath's Avatar
MasterOfDeath  Male.gif MasterOfDeath is offline
Zonko's Employee
 
Joined: 4139 days
Age: 30
Posts: 3,147
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

I made it through that post. It was fantastic, my old friend. Simply fantastic.. It made me even more excited about this film if that is possible. It also made me think about how they are going to do certain things in the movie.

I wonder if they will keep the Trelawnly/Snape reavelation or if Julie Christie has been re-casted as Madam Rosmerta.

I must say, when I read your scirpt, I pictured the Dumbledore from the book. I know how much you love Gambon, but I just cannot picture him saying those lines so calmly and serene.

If the real scirpt is half as good as yours, we got a pretty damn good film coming out in November.

Good work, Phrozenone.


__________________
"I wrote this for me, you know. I never wrote this with a focus group of children in mind. I wrote it totally for me and I'm an adult so maybe it's not so surprising."
JK Rowling on Adults liking Harry Potter; 1999

Hufflepuff through and through! On COS and Pottermore!
Fair, Just, Loyal and unafraid of Toil

Reply With Quote
  #135  
Old March 7th, 2008, 10:33 am
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

aww thanks

I actually was talking through Gambon's voice the entire time I was writing this script (Along with every other character...horrible yes...but I tried ) and I think he can pull it off well.

Remember how he said Severus in GOF after the Trophy Room scene when he said "I agree...with Severus"...that's how I hear him saying 'Severus' on the Astronomy Tower in my head....

Thanks for the critique though. I hope they do keep the Snape/Trelawney revelation. In the recent revision I started on I added a talk in the first lesson that Dumbledore has with Harry where he tells him that it was Trelawney who made the prophecy and yadda yadda to kill two bird with one stone.

One re introducing the prophecy in the HBP film so that when the reveal happens later people won't be struggling to remember something from the last movie. Just have something like this (This is off the top of my head so it may suck but you'll get the point)

DUMBLEDORE
That prophecy you heard last year was made by none other than Professor Trelawney. She made it when I was interviewing her for the teaching post here. Unfortunately we were interrupted..."

HARRY
By who sir?

DUMBLEDORE
That isn't important at the moment I'm sorry to say...

HARRY
And was this...person...the one who told Voldemort about the prophecy? Are they the reason my parents are dead?

DUMBLEDORE
(Stares off into the distance for a moment)
I'm sorry to say that in some way they are...

HARRY
Sir I think I have the right to know....

DUMBLEDORE
I'm sorry but right now we have more important things to discuss. So, Harry. You have been wondering, I am sure, what I have planned for you during these lessons?

And you guys know the rest lol I would even go so far to actually SHOW the interview as Dumbledore talks about it but cut it off before Snape appears and of course show the rest when Trelawney talks about it

Just an idea though

EDIT: That sounds like a deleted scene or something now that I think about it. Sorry I'm easily amused


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."

Last edited by Phrozenone; March 7th, 2008 at 10:52 am.
Reply With Quote
  #136  
Old March 7th, 2008, 10:57 am
MasterOfDeath's Avatar
MasterOfDeath  Male.gif MasterOfDeath is offline
Zonko's Employee
 
Joined: 4139 days
Age: 30
Posts: 3,147
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Let me point out something that bothers me in your scirpt.

I don't like how Harry just asks her about how long she has been teaching there. It just seems out of character, out of place and outright odd and way too convienant. I think we can find a way to more casually enter the flashback explanation bit into the conversation.

Oh and was there a reason why you had Dumbledore himself conclude that Draco had Rosmerta under the curse? I think in the book Draco tells him.

HBP does have a chance to get in all the information about the prophecy that was cut from OOTP. You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that the prophecy information belongs more in HBP because it is where we disocver more about it and we get that great speech from Dumbledore about 'the difference between being dragged into an arena and walking in with your head helpd up high." Also we get the Snape revelation. I hope Yates planned this and he knows what he's doing.

If we had all the prophecy information in OOTP, he would have had to remind the audeince of it anyway. This way get intorduced to all this prophecy stuff in this film where it matters more.

I like your idea of building up the question of who was the spy over the course of the film. I always wondered why in the books, Harry never once questions WHO spied on the prophecy. It's a detail you'd think he'd be hungry to hear.

Though you don't want to hammer it either.

Learning about Snape being the spy right before heading out the cave turns on the tension so brillaintly and sets up the ending, reminding the audience most strongly that Snape could be bad or good and leave them wondering for when Snape steps out on that tower, the question of Snape's loyalties will be fresh in their minds.

There is so many different ways to re-interpet these wonderful stories into film adaptations that it is simply impossible that no one will ever try to remake these films in the far future.


__________________
"I wrote this for me, you know. I never wrote this with a focus group of children in mind. I wrote it totally for me and I'm an adult so maybe it's not so surprising."
JK Rowling on Adults liking Harry Potter; 1999

Hufflepuff through and through! On COS and Pottermore!
Fair, Just, Loyal and unafraid of Toil

Reply With Quote
  #137  
Old March 7th, 2008, 11:13 am
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

heh yeah I was having problems bringing up the conversation so I just stuck it in there. Trust me I'm not happy with it either.

I'm thinking that maybe later on Harry mentions to Ron and Hermione what Dumbledore said (About Trelawney making the prophecy and Hermione being suprised because she thought she was rubbish) and OBVIOUSLY the thing to do is to go and ask Trelawney about it himself but Harry doesn't think about it until that moment.

Which means I'd have to add more to the conversation....maybe something like this...

TRELAWNEY
I miss having you in my classes Harry, you were never much of a Seer..but you were a wonderful Object…

HARRY
Thanks....I think.....

TRELAWNEY
By chance could you tell me how you found out about the room my boy...

HARRY
Oh...I...um...needed the bathroom once and viola!

TRELAWNEY
Oh? Yes I guess it could be useful for that. I found it my first year teaching here actually....

HARRY
Your first year.....
(A light goes off in Harry's eyes)

TRELAWNEY
Ah yes my dear boy....remember like it was yesterday...I can't believe it's been 16 years....

HARRY
Professor....do you by chance remember the inteview that got you the job?

TRELAWNEY
Indeed I do. It was Dumbledore who interviewed me you know?

The scene goes into a flashback of Trelawney and Dumbledore sitting in a room in the Hogs Head


And it proceeds as followed. Is that a LITTLE better MasterofDeath

Hmmm apparently my brain works best at night or something that's just an idea though...sorry if it sucks but making a little mystery of 'Who disturbed Trelawney' would be cool....but as you said MasterofDeath I wouldn't make it into a big deal or anything

Also after re reading it I was going to cut the whole 'Rosmerta under a curse' thing anyways...I doubt anyone really cares


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."
Reply With Quote
  #138  
Old March 7th, 2008, 11:21 am
MasterOfDeath's Avatar
MasterOfDeath  Male.gif MasterOfDeath is offline
Zonko's Employee
 
Joined: 4139 days
Age: 30
Posts: 3,147
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

That's perfect!

I never thought Rosemarta would even make the movie. I don't think she is really needed at all....


__________________
"I wrote this for me, you know. I never wrote this with a focus group of children in mind. I wrote it totally for me and I'm an adult so maybe it's not so surprising."
JK Rowling on Adults liking Harry Potter; 1999

Hufflepuff through and through! On COS and Pottermore!
Fair, Just, Loyal and unafraid of Toil

Reply With Quote
  #139  
Old March 7th, 2008, 11:26 am
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Joined: 4580 days
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter



And the ONLY reason I would argue keeping her is....I want someone to say 'The Dark Mark' before they notice it you know? I just love it because it gives Harry and Dumbledore that moment where they both slowly look up at the school and then the camera slowly pans up

ALTHOUGH....(Jeez my brain is on FIRE late night/early mornings)...

After Dumbledore tells Harry to get Snape Harry will say he'll be back and run out from the building.

HARRY
Sir....

DUMBLEDORE
Harry....what's wrong...

HARRY
The...Dark Mark....sir....

Then Dumbledore will slowly walk up to Harry and look off into the distance where we will pan up slowly and BAM Dark Mark over Hogwarts....

So you're right...next version of my HBP script...she's OUT!


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."
Reply With Quote
  #140  
Old March 7th, 2008, 11:33 am
MasterOfDeath's Avatar
MasterOfDeath  Male.gif MasterOfDeath is offline
Zonko's Employee
 
Joined: 4139 days
Age: 30
Posts: 3,147
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

There's also another way of doing the scene.

The camera pans past a building and WE see the dark mark before they do.

I don't know there might be something cliche about someone exclaiming "The dark mark!" and then just panning to the dark mark.

It might be more suspeseful if we see the dark mark first and then they notice the mark?

It's just an early morning thought.


And yes, your on fire tonight, Phrozenone! Keep it BURNING, baby!

You the MAN, Phrozenone


__________________
"I wrote this for me, you know. I never wrote this with a focus group of children in mind. I wrote it totally for me and I'm an adult so maybe it's not so surprising."
JK Rowling on Adults liking Harry Potter; 1999

Hufflepuff through and through! On COS and Pottermore!
Fair, Just, Loyal and unafraid of Toil

Reply With Quote
Reply
Go Back  Chamber of Secrets > Harry Potter > Muggle Studies

Bookmarks

Tags
remake, script, scripts


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 5:34 pm.


Powered by: vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Original content is Copyright © MMII - MMVIII, CoSForums.com. All Rights Reserved.
Other content (posts, images, etc) is Copyright © its respective owners.