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  #81  
Old August 30th, 2007, 11:59 am
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Themagickeeper: well done for actually putting something you've worked on up here. You wanted constructive critisism, right? Well I found a few of the descriptions clichéd e.g. pale as the moon. When you repeat "the man" in the second sentence so soon after "the man" it almost gives the impression of two men. When people breath raggedly do they not move a bit? (I'm actually not very sure of that myself).

If you want to set the story moving it might be an idea to leave the description of the room for a paragraph or two.
Quote:
“You have come, no doubt, wondering how to complete the task that has been laid out before you. Isobel nodded, afraid to make a sound. She stared, transfixed on his dark eyes, the candlelight flickering within them.
You didn't close the speech marks.

I'm not a big fan of the name Leseobith. But it's your story and it might work.
Quote:
Isobel kissed the emerald ring on this right forefinger as custom required.
I think saying "as custom required" takes a bit away from the scene. To show it as a custom you could have her do the same at different places in the novel.

Hope you found that helpful rather than annoying.


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  #82  
Old August 30th, 2007, 4:24 pm
Israely_Wizard  Male.gif Israely_Wizard is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by evil_mushroom View Post
I think I know what you mean. But why don't you use your previous writing as source, keeping the good scenes/lines and weaving new stuff into it? I always rewrite with the source at hand, and I think that would work even if you changed the point of view. Or maybe you want it to be completely different? Anyway, just wanted to say I like all three character names you've come up with. Even if it's supposed to be 'international', it's still nice to keep an israelian feel to it, which is why I like Ben Levi a lot - simple and realistic. I really like to find traces of the writer's nationality when I read stuff, even if it's on an unrelated subject.
The thing is (if you haven't folowd my posts) is that I lost the complete information that was on a memory stick. So that's why I can't just use my previous writing as a source.
But thank you for the kind words on my characters, that realy boosts my confidence


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  #83  
Old August 30th, 2007, 7:15 pm
evil_mushroom  Female.gif evil_mushroom is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Israely_Wizard
The thing is (if you haven't folowd my posts) is that I lost the complete information that was on a memory stick. So that's why I can't just use my previous writing as a source.
But thank you for the kind words on my characters, that realy boosts my confidence
Aw, I'm sorry, I must have missed that I just thought you decided to rewrite. But that's really bad, and I can understand why it's hard. Hope you'll manage it without losing the enjoyment of the story (I think that would be my worst nightmare, having to start all over again) Good luck with that. Maybe in the end you'll like it even better the way you write it now.


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  #84  
Old August 30th, 2007, 9:08 pm
House_Elf_21  Undisclosed.gif House_Elf_21 is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by themagickeeper View Post
Sorry, what do you mean by 'your child'??
Just that. The story is a part of you, your creation. And when other's critique or put down your story, you can feel as though you're being put down for the way you "raised" it. Just a silly metaphor. But there you are


  #85  
Old August 31st, 2007, 3:45 am
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Yeah, I always call my main story "my baby". It's just how you feel about it.


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  #86  
Old August 31st, 2007, 6:16 am
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheInvisibleF View Post

I'm not a big fan of the name Leseobith. But it's your story and it might work..
Sorry, just to clear up some misconceptions (if thats the right word to use), the world is Iesobith, with an I, not an L. Hope I dont sound annoyed or anything, just wanted to clear that up.

cool thanks for all your criticism, I greatly appreciate it!! I've written pieces here and there of the actual story, just off the top of my head, so its not actually completed or anything. I try and work out all the history and stuff of my characters and places first, so I feel I know the characters.

I'm now making changes that people suggested, and maybe I'll repost it again.

THANKYOU!!!


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  #87  
Old September 1st, 2007, 2:41 am
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Re: The Writers' Thread

I am not alone then....I call my characters in my stories my "kids" and my brother thought I was a freak when I blurted it out one day.


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  #88  
Old September 1st, 2007, 12:50 pm
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by themagickeeper View Post
Sorry, just to clear up some misconceptions (if thats the right word to use), the world is Iesobith, with an I, not an L. Hope I dont sound annoyed or anything, just wanted to clear that up.

cool thanks for all your criticism, I greatly appreciate it!! I've written pieces here and there of the actual story, just off the top of my head, so its not actually completed or anything. I try and work out all the history and stuff of my characters and places first, so I feel I know the characters.

I'm now making changes that people suggested, and maybe I'll repost it again.

THANKYOU!!!
Grand. Sorry about the mistke. How exactly is Iesobith pronounced?


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  #89  
Old September 1st, 2007, 6:45 pm
Israely_Wizard  Male.gif Israely_Wizard is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Sorry to bother you people again, but I have another problem.
A few years back, on the show "Repleis' Belive It or Not" there was a segmant on a baby in India that was born with an elephent-tail-like apendage.
The local people thought he was the reincarnation of the Hindu god Ganesh.
What's the point? The point is that I incorparated him into the story (although I made him actually supernatural), so do you think "Replies" will sue me even if I don't write theire name? Because, after all, it was on theire show.


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  #90  
Old September 1st, 2007, 10:02 pm
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Re: The Writers' Thread

I'd just like to take a moment to talk about sequals. Most unpublished authors I talk to (including myself just a year ago) say they're writing the first book in a series, usually between 3-10 books, and I always think "why a sequal?" I mean, a great idea is a great idea, and if its a very complex and long idea, sequals are good. But these authors I talk to regularly find that they don't have enough material to spread out between three books. So just thought I'd suggest think before you decide if you want a squel or not. Is it wise? Will it add to your story? Another thing is I think many authors want their books talked about (kinda like Harry Potter) and an obvious waya to do that is to have a series, although the book has to be good before anyone talks about it. Just thought I'd share.


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  #91  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 1:34 am
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
I'd just like to take a moment to talk about sequals. Most unpublished authors I talk to (including myself just a year ago) say they're writing the first book in a series, usually between 3-10 books, and I always think "why a sequal?" I mean, a great idea is a great idea, and if its a very complex and long idea, sequals are good. But these authors I talk to regularly find that they don't have enough material to spread out between three books. So just thought I'd suggest think before you decide if you want a squel or not. Is it wise? Will it add to your story? Another thing is I think many authors want their books talked about (kinda like Harry Potter) and an obvious waya to do that is to have a series, although the book has to be good before anyone talks about it. Just thought I'd share.
I know. I have two sequels planned, but that's because the story needs it. I don't understand when people talk about writing trilogies and they have no material for books two and three.


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  #92  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 9:03 am
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Re: The Writers' Thread

the best way to get over writers block is to brainstorm with people. everyone shares ideas, not like major plots but ideas that keep books flowing & its amazing how other people usually interpret & change ideas better than the other person could. its not stealing peoples ideas but help from others goes a long way


  #93  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 12:32 pm
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Israely_Wizard View Post
Sorry to bother you people again, but I have another problem.
A few years back, on the show "Repleis' Belive It or Not" there was a segmant on a baby in India that was born with an elephent-tail-like apendage.
The local people thought he was the reincarnation of the Hindu god Ganesh.
What's the point? The point is that I incorparated him into the story (although I made him actually supernatural), so do you think "Replies" will sue me even if I don't write theire name? Because, after all, it was on theire show.
Ripley's Believe It or Not is meant to be showing actual things, isn't it? Last year or the year before two men tried to sue your man who wrote The Da Vinci Code for using their research. They failed. Just keep writing and don't worry. I don't think anyone will try to sue you.


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  #94  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 12:54 pm
Israely_Wizard  Male.gif Israely_Wizard is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheInvisibleF View Post
Ripley's Believe It or Not is meant to be showing actual things, isn't it? Last year or the year before two men tried to sue your man who wrote The Da Vinci Code for using their research. They failed. Just keep writing and don't worry. I don't think anyone will try to sue you.
Gee, thanks.


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  #95  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 2:52 pm
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
I'd just like to take a moment to talk about sequals. Most unpublished authors I talk to (including myself just a year ago) say they're writing the first book in a series, usually between 3-10 books, and I always think "why a sequal?" I mean, a great idea is a great idea, and if its a very complex and long idea, sequals are good. But these authors I talk to regularly find that they don't have enough material to spread out between three books. So just thought I'd suggest think before you decide if you want a squel or not. Is it wise? Will it add to your story? Another thing is I think many authors want their books talked about (kinda like Harry Potter) and an obvious waya to do that is to have a series, although the book has to be good before anyone talks about it. Just thought I'd share.
This, in my case, is completely untrue. I have notebooks full of nothing but ideas and the first book is planned to be only 17 chapters, mostly because it is the beginning and it is hopefuly the start of children's reading material, so if you make it too long, they won't read it, and, also, there just simply enough ideas to go all through the first book because I have so many of these questions and answers things.

As for the suggestion, yeah, I agree. My friend really likes my writing, as she has seen quite a lot of my fan fics, and she loves to write, but she can't spell, discribe, have any grammer skills for the death of her, so, she is co-writing it with me. It was going to be one book, but she want's it to be a trilogy, so, since it is her idea, I follow along and wait until she changes her mind because it is not something that can go that far. Not that we don't hope it will be a good book, it's just not something worth going over three books.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sxcashtray View Post
the best way to get over writers block is to brainstorm with people. everyone shares ideas, not like major plots but ideas that keep books flowing & its amazing how other people usually interpret & change ideas better than the other person could. its not stealing peoples ideas but help from others goes a long way
Yeah, me and my friend do this all the time, when I'm really lost. I won't tell her anything about the book, which confuses her, but once I'm describing the character, she thinks the best she can with what she has and can come up with some pretty good ideas.

I have a website for any style/type of writing. . . My own story is on there, if anyone would like to see it, it is called writinggreatstories.wetpaint.com Just click on return to homepage.


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  #96  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 3:34 pm
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Re: The Writers' Thread

I've hit kind of a rocky spot in my book that i'm writing. Maybe someone can help me.

Okay, well I don't wanna give too much away about the book but, I'm thinking that this one part that i wrote might be a little too much like harry potter. My book isn't about magic, in fact it takes place in the modern world, and the plot of the book itself is fine, but i got to this one part; and see these three friends go to this private school where they live and everything and they need to sneak out of the school one night to solve a problem that has risen but they are not allowed to go outside the school and the grounds are guarded during the night...so i was thinking about having a secret tunnel in the library that is actually only for the Seniors...now this tunnel leads about 30km or so, into the city of Toronto. And this is how they sneak out.

Now if your still with me and understand what i just said, does the tunnel sound too much like Harry Potter?


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  #97  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 4:15 pm
ginnypotter19  Female.gif ginnypotter19 is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Hmmm, I don't really think so, since it doesn't go anywhere in the castle, just the outside, and it doesn't have to do with any magical reason, though, in many books there are tunnels and it wouldn't be just Harry Potter, so it is just fine. .


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  #98  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 6:17 pm
Israely_Wizard  Male.gif Israely_Wizard is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

I, on the other hand, see what you meen; it sounds a bit like the secret tunnel to the Shrieking Shack.
What you need to do, is have it open in other ways beside just pushing a button.
For example: you could have it open with a voice recegnition program, and the heros have to fake a Seniors' voice.
You see what I meen?


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  #99  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 7:19 pm
ginnypotter19  Female.gif ginnypotter19 is offline
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Ouch. I knew what she meant, and she isn't copying at all, or else the Boggart in my story would be copied, and the boggart in J.K Rowlings, because they are all different. As long as the tunnel doesn't lead to a shack that holds a werewolf or other dangerous animal is fine.


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  #100  
Old September 2nd, 2007, 10:55 pm
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Re: The Writers' Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by harryismyhero17 View Post
I've hit kind of a rocky spot in my book that i'm writing. Maybe someone can help me.

Okay, well I don't wanna give too much away about the book but, I'm thinking that this one part that i wrote might be a little too much like harry potter. My book isn't about magic, in fact it takes place in the modern world, and the plot of the book itself is fine, but i got to this one part; and see these three friends go to this private school where they live and everything and they need to sneak out of the school one night to solve a problem that has risen but they are not allowed to go outside the school and the grounds are guarded during the night...so i was thinking about having a secret tunnel in the library that is actually only for the Seniors...now this tunnel leads about 30km or so, into the city of Toronto. And this is how they sneak out.

Now if your still with me and understand what i just said, does the tunnel sound too much like Harry Potter?
Well the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack and to Hogsmead came to my mind straight away. But that could also be because we are on a Harry Potter forum. Plenty of stories include secret tunnels and passages. Even my secondary school was rumoured to have a tunnel out (the old part was a castle). Is there anything at the end of the tunnel like a house or hut they have to get through or does it just end? How old is the school meant to be? Is there a decent reason for it to be there?


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