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Feedback- Teeter Totter



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  #1  
Old March 7th, 2009, 1:58 am
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Feedback- Teeter Totter

http://www.cosforums.com/showthread....39#post5248639

Feedback please!


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  #2  
Old March 9th, 2009, 7:56 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

it┤s hard to get feedback here. Interesting beginning...


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  #3  
Old March 9th, 2009, 11:35 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

really? I was getting bored to tears typing it , the rest of the story is so much more interesting

I kind of go overboard though...kinda worried the rest is a bit...overdramatic?

thanks for hte feedback


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Old March 10th, 2009, 11:34 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

overdramatic? when will you update?


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Old March 11th, 2009, 1:10 am
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

i have no idea, i'm going to be trying for once a week, since i'm not as fast with editing and rereading (i've already written the book) and i get lazy with typing it up


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Old March 16th, 2009, 8:04 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

Great so far. I love it. Looking forward to more.

I'll try to give more specific feedback later, but I really like a lot about it.


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Old March 16th, 2009, 10:38 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

Thanks Den!

glad to see my non fanfic writing is better

ETA: i love how my feedback thread has more views than my actual fanfic thread


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Old March 19th, 2009, 1:21 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

was there new chapter?


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Old March 19th, 2009, 11:32 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

chapter 2 is up, i'm in the process of typing chapter 3


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Old March 21st, 2009, 11:45 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

I'm still liking the story. Looking forward to seeing where it's going. Seems like an interesting setup for future conflict.


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Old March 24th, 2009, 8:04 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

who is "her"?


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Old April 22nd, 2009, 10:03 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

Very good job with the story. I love the whole idea and the character you've created. Although, you haven't really given us much detail to her, her personality is pretty cool. I'm liking this story, actually, a lot more than your fan-fiction and your writing is definitely better. Good description and all that.


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Old April 23rd, 2009, 12:37 am
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

Quote:
Originally Posted by secunda View Post
who is "her"?
her?

and thanks tay. And I know i haven't given much detail, but that's completely purposeful. I kind of hate giving character bios at the beginning of stories


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Old May 16th, 2009, 7:42 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

Great job. I'm liking this story a lot.


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Old June 21st, 2009, 3:26 am
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

OK, I just got to read the latest update.

Quote:
I went to the Chamber every day, and although my talent grew, my power didn’t seem to improve, but I could still feel the energies take hold of my life.
This sentence confused me. How could talent grow but power not improve?

Quote:
The before me was…terrifying.
The what before me????? Skipped a word there, I think.

Quote:
If evil was a female woman,
As opposed to a male woman or a female man??

Lots of other typos this time, but these were the worst.

As for the plot...well, I'm not much into evil and I like happy endings, so I'm not sure I'm liking where this is headed. I'll wait to see where you're going with this, but I hope it doesn't end up with her turning evil enough to battle and defeat the Ice Queen and become the new ruler of Shadowland.


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  #16  
Old June 21st, 2009, 3:46 am
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

yuo'll see .

This is really getting on my nerves....i don't mind the typos as much as i mind the fact that the reason i wrote it out first then typed it up was because i wanted to get rid of grammar and typo issues and edit, but i think i'm making more typos , well, i guess that's not working out well. thanks for the input Den, I really appreciate it

And no, that has actually nothing to do with the plot. It was one of my potential plots on the drawing board, but i went with something completely different

Quote:
This sentence confused me. How could talent grow but power not improve?
She's still using the same amount of energy and raw magical power, but she's using it better. It's like the difference between a pro shooting a gun and hitting the target every time and an amateur shooting and missing half the time


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Old July 11th, 2009, 10:30 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

I'm still hanging in there. I'll trust you that she's not getting evil.

Much better this time.

Sorry for the little feedback, but I wanted to leave something to let you know I'm still reading and I just don't feel like detailed feedback at the moment. Just, good job and looking forward to more.


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Liberals want big government to ensure they don't fail; conservatives want small government so they can succeed.
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  #18  
Old July 11th, 2009, 10:59 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Den_muggle View Post
I'm still hanging in there. I'll trust you that she's not getting evil.

Much better this time.

Sorry for the little feedback, but I wanted to leave something to let you know I'm still reading and I just don't feel like detailed feedback at the moment. Just, good job and looking forward to more.
thanks and no prob. I'll assume that the general feedback means that i didn't make any enormous mistakes


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Old July 19th, 2009, 11:31 pm
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

Good story, more descriptive of the palace this time. Most descriptions were really great, while others left a bit to be desired:
Quote:
It was, for the most part, dark, but not gloomy. (Don’t ask me how it managed that.)
Then who should I ask? It almost seemed at times that you didn't know or couldn't express the image you wanted to describe. I think taking a bit more time with those descriptions to bring them up to the level of the others would improve the chapter. I'd say either improve the vague ones or leave them out, because I found them very detracting. Otherwise, very good chapter.


Not too many typos and all small ones :
Quote:
Acera clapped twice, and sudden[ly], the stick[-]shaped ice crystals

...

In between were coughes and rugs,

...

The black fire covered the ground [should be floor not ground] here too

...

In the momentary paused [no d] caused by my arrival,
Getting better!


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Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has manyŚnot on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.ŚCharles Dickens

Proud Gryffindor!
Liberals want big government to ensure they don't fail; conservatives want small government so they can succeed.
Davy Crockett learned a valuable lesson our current congress should learn.


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  #20  
Old July 20th, 2009, 12:22 am
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Re: Feedback- Teeter Totter

I was just talking to Tay about my descriptions last night . The reason a lot of the descriptions were vague were more that i kept feeling like i was going on and on and on about descriptions that weren't really important

Thanks for the corrections


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