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Beedle the Bard movie idea

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Old December 17th, 2008, 6:49 am
Ellen  Undisclosed.gif Ellen is offline
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Beedle the Bard movie idea

I'm not sure if this is a discussion topic or something that belongs in fanfics. However, as it's spoiler heavy, I thought this would be the safest place to put it (I have no problem moving it if I'm wrong).

Oh, I also mention the characters - Ron, Harry, etc. - playing parts rather than the actors. While I think it would be great to get the actors from the movies, I'll understand if they have to go with people who just sort of look like them.

So, my take on how Beedle the Bard should be made into a movie -

First, the point, as far as Warner Brothers is concerned, is to cash in on the Harry Potter gravy train, right? That means we want a reason to bring in Harry Potter actors and, preferably, make a clear connection between them and their Harry Potter roles rather than just cast them as fairy tale witches and warlocks. The key to this - and to putting all these stories together - is a framing device, a story in a story deal.

My suggestion - Tales of Beedle the Bard and (ta-dum!) Dudley Dursley.

Before you decide I've lost it, let me elaborate. I have a sort of opening montage pictured to get it going.

We start with a somewhat sinister looking scene. The camera pans through a dark forest. This looks similar to the opening bit in Nightmare Before Christmas. A grim sounding narrator (I'd go with Jim Dale, for obvious HP reasons) asks if we've ever wondered where fairy tales come from (instead of holidays). If not, he says, it's time we've begun - Then, the forest falls away.

We're looking down on a very colorful university campus. There's a playing field of some sort (I'm not sure what sport would be reasonable in the UK given time setting and characters involved, but that's a side issue). It's clear a big game has just been won. Cheering teammates and spectators have picked up the game's big hero, Dudley. It also becomes clear in this scene that Dudley has a blond, cheerleader girlfriend.

A montage of Dudley's college life follows while the slightly modified song "Five Long Years" plays (for those who want to know, "Five Long Years" goes to the tune of "500 Miles" and is about a guy who sings about his life at college, "I've been here for five long years/ And I'll be here at least five more/ 'Cause I can graduate with just a/ GPA of one-point-four").

At first, Dudley seems to be the golden boy, sports hero, friends, parties, beautiful buy vapid girlfriend. But, we start seeing glimpses of Dudley actually missing magic, such as him looking nostalgically at a moving picture from the time during Deathly Hallows when he and his parents were in hiding with a witch and wizard guard (the picture shows Dudley enjoying the company while his parents look like they wish they could sneak out of the photo).

His friends start noticing something weird about him, as in the part when they pass a youth gang (leather, chains, etc) who are also very short with pointy ears (yes, Goblins, not that the Muggles are admitting that's what they look like).

His friends stare at the pointy ears and try to crowd to the far side of the sidewalk. Dudley gives a high five to the Goblin wearing a "Potter Rocks" T-shirt.

Things come to a head when, during a game, Dudley is staring at an owl flying past as the ball goes right by him on the other side.

We have a shot of Dudley being left alone on the field except for his girlfriend, who he clearly expects to support him in his hour of trial. The song gets to the line that goes "As we stood upon the A all she did was start to scream, yell, and shout."

The girlfriend walks away from him. The camera draws back, showing Dudley looking more and more alone. Then, the camera goes far enough that we can see the one other person left on the field, Dudley's best friend, fellow team member, and dorm mate.

The ex-girlfriend throws herself into the dorm mate's arms as the song reaches the line, "'Cause she's marrying my roommate in next June-June-June-June."

As "June-June-June-June" is being sung, Dudley slowly collapses backward.

Next scene: Dudley is lying on his bed in his dorm room, looking like someone who's been staring at the ceiling in blank misery for a great length of time. Then, he has visitors. It's Ron and Hermione. They drag Dudley off to some place they can discuss magic stuff without the wrong people (Muggles who didn't grow up with a wizard in the family) overhearing.

Hermione has had a "great" idea (her opinion), she wants to retranslate The Tales of Beedle the Bard for Muggles. She is trying out some of her rough draft on various Muggles that she has some connection to and who are allowed to know about magic.
You can just tell that Ron thinks this is the worst idea Hermione's ever had. You can also tell Dudley agrees, but he's too beaten down to put up much of a fight.

We start with Ron giving an example of the sort of tales Hermione's talking about. He tells Dudley The Tale of Babbity-Rabbity. In his version, the king looks exactly like Dudley.

At the beginning of the tale, when the persecution of witches and wizards is beginning, we see a very irritated witch working in her herb garden when her house is attacked - with her wand inside. She escapes, but everything she owns goes up in smoke.

This, of course, is Altheda, who will show up later.

At the end of the story, instead of staying on to be a better and wiser king, the king tries to set things right but also goes off on a quest as a lone knight, looking for wisdom and/or redemtion, whichever comes first.

We then go back to the framing story and Dudley.

The basic outline of the framing story is that Dudley is going to be coming to grips with liking the magical world yet not being magical. His fences with Harry have been mended, although they should meet in the course of the film (I'll get to that part). However, the main part is him coming to terms with these things and also (very big, very important part) meeting a witch (I think it should be one of the Patil sisters, probably Parvati) and falling for her. Dudley also gets to see a bit of the magical world as this is going on.

Then, we get the Tale of the Three Brothers. In this Tale, the ex-king, now a knight errant (still played by Dudley), hears of three brothers, possibly wizards, who are considered some of the wisest and most skillful men in the land. He goes out seeking them. However, when he reaches the town where the first brother should be, he finds signs of a terrible battle and one very completely wasted town. He also finds what may be the first brother's tomb. He goes in search of the second brother, and finds that he has also, mysteriously died. Finally, he tries to find the third brother.

He tells this to a man he meets (played by Harry) who tells him what happened. He tells the story of the brothers (given their mind sets, it seems like the brothers should be portrayed as looking an awful lot like Voldemort, Snape, and Harry, but that may be too much of a stretch even in a fairy tale). The brothers outwit Death (and, by their magic, make an unbreakable bridge that will protect many traverlers in the future, depriving Death of more victims. It perhaps should be suggested that they've done lots of clever things together in the past that have also cut into Death's impact).

The first brother, instead of just fighting a duel, gets power hungry and causes a full scale war in the town that was destroyed before being killed by someone else wanting the wand. The second brother dies the way he did in the story. The third brother, of course, is revealed to be the "Harry" telling the story. As the third brother, he gives a somewhat more nuanced moral to the story. For the first brother, Death was ultimately about power, and that's what destroyed him (and other, innocent bystanders). For the second brother, Death was about pain and separation. He let loss eat away at him instead of treasuring the time he had and the good he could do with it. The third brother doesn't fear Death, even if he doesn't seek him out. All the remarkable things he's done weren't about defeating Death, they were about protecting people from meeting him until the proper time. If he can delay meeting Death until the end of a long, full life, then he can meet him as an old friend. As he says this, he smiles at someone far away. It's Death, who looks suspiciously like Dumbledore.

"We all found in Death what we expected," Harry tells Dudley. "I hope, someday, to great him as an old friend." He smiles with just a touch of irony at Death and adds, "But not today."

Then, he wraps the invisibility cloak around himself and vanishes. When the knight looks, Dumbledore is also gone.

Now, onto the story of The Hopping Pot.

The selfish, young wizard should be Draco Malfoy, although I'm not certain about his father (Hagrid's personality would be perfect, but I'm not sure if, even in a fairy tale, that wouldn't be a not quite believable family tree, and I'm not sure that it would be right to toss Dumbledore in here [although, if the order is changed so that The Hopping Pot comes before The Three Brothers, the father dying might make a good lead in for seeing him as Death. I just thought The Three Brothers is a meatier story and works better as the second one in this case, to keep the narrative going).
Early on, while the wizard is refusing to help the neighbors, a young witch in very bad health comes through. She meets up with Sir Luckless/Dudley (minor parts in this story). As she's sick and on foot - her horse is also sick - he lets her ride his horse the remaining distance. Although he doesn't know magic, he knows about horses and is able to help her horse (cast shoe? minor horse illness? something requiring a bit more know how than usual but nothing too huge).

She learns quickly that the wizard isn't helping anyone and, now that her horse is recovered, thanks Dudley/Sir Luckless, and goes on her way. The knight also leaves.

The rest of the story follows the Tale pretty closely.

Back in the framing story, Dudley has been having his ups and downs (OK, I haven't worked out all of this part). Dudley had begun to think he had figured out where he was going with his life and the magic and Muggle thing. He was also beginning to feel like he liked Parvati and that she liked him back.

But, the story can't be that simple. The couple has a fight - maybe over something magic related - and Dudley is feeling even more miserable than he did at the beginning when his cheerleader girlfriend dumped him. Even Dudley can recognize that that first relationship was pretty shallow, but this might have been the real thing.

Also, he's beginning to wonder if there's something about him that dooms him to nothing but self-destructing relationships at this point.

While he is moping and feeling like his life is over (he's in the wizarding world in some place where it makes sense to have paintings of Hogwarts' Headmasters), Snape's portrait shows up and makes some Snapish comments about all the moaning and self-indulgence (this would also be good place to stick some of those wonderful lines from Phineas that didn't make it into the movie of Order of the Phoenix).

Snape, while acting as though he can't think of anything more boring than having to hear young Dudley complain about his love life, manages to draw out what the trouble is and also hear a bit about Dudley's part in Hermione's Beedle the Bard project. He winds up telling Dudley - with a lot of dry irony about the kind of fools who fall in love - the story of The Hairy Heart.

Of course, his meaning is a little different than that. In his story, he's the warlock (although it might be better to get the actor who played teenage Snape to do this part) and someone who looks suprisingly like Lily is the witch he tries to court.
There's also a bit more about one of the witches (portrayed by one of the Patil sisters) who has a crush on the warlock but who he ignores. The Lily-like witch is her cousin, so she gets to see all the bad stuff close up. This is Amata.

I'm not sure if you want to tone down the final image. Kids will be seeing this, after all. But I think we do need to see the warlock lying dead on the dead witch.
We then go back to portrait Snape (who may clarify how the couple died). Dudley says that's a gross fairy tale, and asks "You guys tell these things to kids?".

Snape looks pointedly at Dudley, "Only to the children who need to hear it.

"Mr. Dursley, I am hardly an expert on matters of the heart. But I think it is fair to say I know a great deal about the kind of mistakes young fools make over them. One of the greatest is to imagine they don't matter. Perhaps the only greater one is to think they matter but that you can avoid making them."

And Dudley has an epiphany. He finds the witch of his dreams (who, moping in her own right, is sitting in the deserted stands around the playing field that Dudley obviously thinks so much of). He apologizes and tells her that, by the way, he's been reading up on all those Tales Hermione's been giving him. He even has a favorite.

Dudley then tells her The Fountain of Fair Fortune. The three witches are the witches from the earlier tales. Sir Luckless, of course, is Dudley the ex-king.

Dudley finishes up the Tale and adds that it didn't seem quite fair. The witches gave up everything but Sir Luckless was the one who got to bathe in the fountain.
Parvarti, obviously mellowing from the story, reminds Dudley that the fountain wasn't magical.

Dudley says, "A lot of things are like that, especially for Muggles. But, there's something else most Muggles know: just because something isn't magical doesn't mean it can't be magic."

Parvati laughs, and they walk off together. Parvati asks, "So, do I get to meet your family?"

Dudley says, "I'm looking forward to it."

(OK, I admit I want to imagine Petunia's reaction to a potential daughter-in-law who is Indian and a witch)

And the "Five Long Years" music starts to play again as the picture fades out.

I'm also trying to figure out how to get in Hermione discussing whether or not she should use a pen name. She's thinking of using her initials or her middle name, Jane, although that's so ordinary it sounds like a pen name.

Dudley could admit that he's sometimes wished he had a more common name, like Kevin or something.

Ron says he'd just scramble his name together, Ronwald Leasy, or Ron Waldsy, or Rowling or something.

A little bit of text after the fadeout could then say that Hermione, Ron, and Dudley worked together on the final version "The Tales of Beedle the Bard." Unfortunately, they had to write seven whole books before they felt like they'd given Muggle readers enough background.

Oddly enough, some people prefer the so called "Harry Potter" to the much more important Tales of Beedle the Bard.

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Old December 19th, 2008, 12:35 am
Lyra_Asya  Undisclosed.gif Lyra_Asya is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Oh wow I think you should be the director! I would love this movie if it was like this. Seriously, that's amazing! :yuhup

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Old December 19th, 2008, 9:39 pm
MaphaldaHopkirk  Female.gif MaphaldaHopkirk is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Too long

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Old December 19th, 2008, 9:48 pm
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

No discredit to you for writing out the lengthly outline () but I really would not want to see that being the film - personally I am against the whole Beedle film, and I haven't even read the book yet

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Old December 22nd, 2008, 4:31 pm
hplova15165  Female.gif hplova15165 is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

I read half, but I'm so hyper I just can't focus for longer than a couple of minutes... and I just gave up.

But so far, I like the whole Dudley missing magic thing, but I don't understand why Hermione and Ron came to him about the book.

I think I'd like it being turned into a children's movie, it'd probably make a lot of money. I'd go see it if it did become a movie... I mean, why shouldn't I? Dumbledore could be the Narrator if possible, maybe the whole thing could be animated and he could pause the movie to explain something whenever he wanted to, then just hop off the screen.


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Old December 29th, 2008, 4:10 am
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Originally Posted by hplova15165 View Post
Dumbledore could be the Narrator if possible, maybe the whole thing could be animated and he could pause the movie to explain something whenever he wanted to, then just hop off the screen.
i like this idea. he could be like the snowman in rudolf, or like the guy in masterpiece theatre


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Old January 1st, 2009, 5:24 pm
mugglecast_love  Undisclosed.gif mugglecast_love is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Oh my gosh, I really love your idea! It seems like it could take at least an hour and a half to two hours and they could add in a bit of humor (probably from Ron).
Though I don't really think they should talk about writing the HP books because I think that would just be too much. (But I think Ron should still say the thing about 'Ronwald Leasy, or Ron Waldsy, or Rowling or something.' because that's hilarious!)

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Old January 1st, 2009, 9:52 pm
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Perhaps the Tales of Beedle the Bard would be ok as a TV special, but I couldn't ever see this as a film. These stories lack substance (for the most part) because they're fairy tales, and thus I don't think there would be enough there to make a whole movie out of them.


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Old January 26th, 2009, 8:13 pm
bongo12  Undisclosed.gif bongo12 is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

yeah I see what you mean. Because theyre all set at different times arent they???

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Old January 29th, 2009, 1:38 am
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Good, but a bit "over here, over there" and a bit... er... odd... for WB.

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Old January 29th, 2009, 4:36 pm
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

I'd rather not have Beedle the Bard become a movie or TV special. I'd much rather like using my imagination to think of what each stories characters and settings look like, and a movie would ruin that for me.


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Old March 10th, 2009, 12:00 pm
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

i think it'd be a cool series to watch. I wouldnt like all the same actors, i'd like all new different people, and I think they could do a good job seperating the stories, and making the movie in great details.


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Old May 5th, 2009, 9:25 pm
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

I like the effort you put into writing that but it just sounds way to Hollywoodish for Harry Potter. I think it would work a lot better just having the Tales as they are in a movie (although perhaps fleshed out a bit with backstory)

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Old May 6th, 2009, 2:00 am
hpfan795  Male.gif hpfan795 is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

I would rather see another harry potter movie. You could make a documentry out of The Tales of Beedle and Bard, Not a movie

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Old May 6th, 2009, 2:12 am
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

I haven't read this yet, but am currently waiting for it to arrive at my house I'll let you know what I think once I have read it!

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Old May 30th, 2009, 6:09 am
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

I quite like the idea actually and I'm very impressed by your outline. But there'd be very few people who would want to watch the movie (I totally would though).

Still, great outline!

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Old October 17th, 2009, 7:45 pm
Charlottie  Female.gif Charlottie is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Originally Posted by RemusLupinFan View Post
Perhaps the Tales of Beedle the Bard would be ok as a TV special, but I couldn't ever see this as a film. These stories lack substance (for the most part) because they're fairy tales, and thus I don't think there would be enough there to make a whole movie out of them.

Agreed =)
I believe a documentry of the 'Tales of Beedle the Bard', with JK elaborating on Dumbledore's notes would be very interesting though.

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Old December 2nd, 2009, 12:23 pm
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

Personally, I think that if you had the right sort of director for the project, someone visionary and exciting, this could certainly work, just not as a specifically HP related story.

For instance, look at Spike Jonze's adaption of Where The Wild Things Are. It took him over five years to adapt a story roughly 400 words long. My point is, if you got a creative force behind such a project to truly engage and expand the story and make it more of an enigmatic film as opposed to a straight adaption, it could work.

I, however, don't think this should be done. I would much rather see an adaption of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and watch the new Hallows movies in the meantime.

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Old February 20th, 2010, 3:58 pm
HesperGamp  Female.gif HesperGamp is offline
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

I think that it could be cute with the right director, but I don't believe that it is necessary.

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Old August 13th, 2010, 1:58 am
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Re: Beedle the Bard movie idea

It would make a good mini-episode series.

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