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Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter



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Old May 24th, 2008, 12:40 am
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ArryGrotter  Male.gif ArryGrotter is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forlong View Post
I thought of a better opening for "Philosopher's Stone".

Philosopher’s Stone:    


  
Opening
Airial shot over a village, that is Godric's Hollow. Theme music plays lightly and voices can be heard, as if from the wind.

JAMES: Lily, take Harry and run! It's him! I'll hold him off!

LILY: Don't worry, Harry. Mommy is here.

VOLDEMORT: Stand aside. You need not die.

LILY: No!

VOLDEMORT: Stand aside, you fool.

LILY: NO! Not Harry! Don't take Harry! Kill me instead!

The camara turned to the second story window of one of the houses and moves towards it quickily.

VOLDEMORT: As you wish! Avada Kadavra!

As Voldemort says, "Kadavra", the camara "phases" through the glass. Lily falls to the floor, dead. Harry says something "baby-ish".

The camara pans to Voldemort, who is wearing a jet-black cloak that covers most of his face. He slowly walks to the crib. When he stops only a few feet from the crib, the gleam of two red eyes breaks the shadow of his hood. Harry cries.

Voldemort raises his wand and smiles evilly.

VOLDEMORT: Naither can live, while the other servives...[points his wand at Harry]

Cut to the exterior of the house, which is silent for a moment. But the silence is interupted by an explosion from Harry's room. the camara moves into the wreckage. Voldemort is nowhere to be seen and Harry is laying down, apparently knocked out. As the camara comes closer, a lighting-bolt shaped scar becomes visible on Harry's forehead.

The music picks up again and the title appears.
  



What do you think?
I do like the ideas, but it still feels a bit er... unnatural?

I'm interested if you've read my opening to PS.

PS opening:    


  EXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

A gate is left open in front of a cottage, is curtains fully drawn and its door blasted open.

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
(In a hoarse voice)
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord...

INT. HARRY’S ROOM - THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

An infant (1-YEAR-OLD HARRY POTTER) stares at a hooded figure (VOLDEMORT). Light catches its face and Harry begins to cry.

VOLDEMORT
Avada Kedavra!

EXT. THE POTTER’S COTTAGE - GODRIC’S HOLLOW - EVENING

Green light erupts from an upstairs room. Sounds of agony can be heard, both from Harry and Voldemort

SYBILL TRELAWNEY (V.O.)
...approaches...

The title “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” fills the screen.

EXT. 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING

A simple suburban house can be seen (4 Privet Drive) behind the title, baked on by the bright sun. A cat walks into frame and sits on the house’s brick fence. The title fades, leaving a shot of the house.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING

Close-up shot of an extremely boring tie. The camera zooms out to see the reflection of VERNON DURSLEY, a man in his early 20s, in the kitchen mirror. The mirrored version of Vernon smiles to himself. He picks up his briefcase and walks over to his wife, PETUNIA DURSLEY, also in her early 20s. The kiss on the cheek he gives her is viewed through the mirror. Petunia notices the mirror and looks at herself and Vernon through it, smiling. A CLATTER and a splatter...

BABY DUDLEY DURSLEY
Shan’t!

1-YEAR-OLD DUDLEY DURSLEY has dropped his bowl of cereal in protest. Petunia rushes over to help as...

EXT. PRIVET DRIVE - MORNING

...the camera flies out of the room, past the cat still sitting on the brick wall, watches Vernon get into his car, past the many owls now circulating the sky...

I/E. DURSLEY’S CAR - SURREY - MORNING

...and to the odd people dressed in cloaks...

CLOAKED PERSON 1
The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard...

CLOAKED PERSON 2
...yes, their son, Harry...

...who move to show Vernon in his car, windows down, face covered with dread, shock and fear.

CUT TO:

INT. KITCHEN - 4 PRIVET DRIVE - EVENING

Vernon walks into the kitchen. Petunia is busy making dinner.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Evening.

Vernon replies, not with Petunia’s pleasant tones, but quite empty.

VERNON DURSLEY
Evening.

A voice fades in.

TELEVISION - JIM MCGUFFIN
It’s not only the owls that have been acting oddly today.

The television has got Vernon’s attention. Its screen fills the screen

TELEVISION - JIM MCGUFFIN (CONT’D)
Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that they’ve had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early - it’s not until next week, folks!

Finally, he decides to talk to Petunia

VERNON DURSLEY
Er - Petunia

Petunia doesn’t look up, but replies.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
Yes?

VERNON DURSLEY
You haven’t heard from your sister lately, have you?

Petunia stops everything she is doing and replies rudely.

PETUNIA DURSLEY
No. Why?

VERNON DURSLEY
Funny stuff on the news.
(He motions his hand towards it.)
Owls, shooting stars, and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today. I thought, maybe, it was something to do with, you know, her lot.

Petunia sniffs, in away of reply, and continues to prepare dinner. Vernon looks a little scared to say his next sentence

VERNON DURSLEY (CONT’D)
Their son, about Dudley’s age now, wouldn’t he be, what’s his name again? Howard isn’t it?

PETUNIA DURSLEY
(Still making dinner)
Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me.

Camera starts to zoom in on Vernon, which is horribly unsettled

VERNON DURSLEY
Yes I quite agree.

We pass through the window...

EXT. PRIVET DRIVE - MIDNIGHT

...and all turns to night. The cat is still sitting on the brick fence. It is stiff and looking in one direction. The camera then shows that the road is deserted. It slowly lays to rest on one of the street lamps.

POP. Pause. Then a different POP as the lamp extinguishes.

The camera cuts back to the cat, which is now moving its head. The lamp nearest the brick wall extinguishes with another pop. The camera then cuts to an elderly man (ALBUS DUMBLEDORE) standing in the once deserted street, he is putting away an object which looks like a cigarette lighter (Deluminator).

Dumbledore sits next to the cat on the fence and, after a moment’s pause, turns and speaks to it.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.
  



__________________
And none will come after...
Farewell to the Harry Potter films

(this was written way before Fantastic Beasts was a thing... )

A true - CoS and Pottermore!
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  #182  
Old June 5th, 2008, 1:37 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Ok so here's the next section of the script. I wasn't sure people were reading so I started taking longer to do anything This next section is TOTALLY different than I imagined it...having just finished writing I'm happy with it..but most may not be.

Unfortunatly I have to leave in a bit so the ending of this section happens in the middle of an important scene..but no worries it's just a cliffhanger.

Now I better see some input on this or I may take longer next time

Quote:
INT. HOSPITAL WING-NIGHT

The screen slowly fades back in Harry as he opens his eyes and grasps his head in pain. He looks over to see Ron in the bed next to him smiling at him.

RON
Nice of you to drop in.

HARRY
How long have I been out?

RON
For a bit…u got a cracked skull…McLaggen must’ve got you good.

HARRY
When I get out of here I’m going to kill him.

The door to the hospital wing opens and Ginny walks in carrying Harry’s broom.

GINNY
Alright Harry?

HARRY
Yeah fine…thanks…

GINNY
Thought I’d drop this off.

She sits the broom next to Harry’s bed.

HARRY
So how did the game go?

GINNY
You don’t want to know…sad thing is Luna’s commentary was the only highlight. Well I’ll leave you two…get better soon Harry.

She smiles and walks away as Ron starts eating on some candy. Harry watches as she closes the door and lays back in the bed and closes his eyes.

INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room.

RON
What’s going on?

HARRY
Ron…wait...it’s not what you think!

Ron pulls out his wand and walks angrily up to Harry.

RON
I thought you were my friend Harry!

HARRY
Wait…Ron…I’m sorry…

Ron draws back and his fist flies towards Harry’s face as Harry opens his eyes.

INT. HOSPITAL WING-NIGHT

He sits up and looks over and see’s Ron snoring next to him. He sighs as he gets up out of the bed slowly and walks to a window. Harry looks out at Hogwarts with the moon shining brightly over it and the scene slowly fades a shot of names moving around the Mauraders Map.

HARRY
(Offscreen)
Gone again.

We now see Harry sitting in his hospital bed looking at the map with Ron sitting up on his bed.

RON
Harry I think you’re going a little overboard with this Malfoy thing.

HARRY
I’m gonna find out what he’s up too Ron.

RON
Harry…

HARRY
Don’t tell me it’s all in my head either, I overheard what Snape said to him…

RON
Yeah I know Harry, but, you’re just becoming a little obsessed over this thing.

HARRY
Obsessed? He just keeps disappearing off of the map, where do you think he’s going?

RON
Hogsmeade maybe, I don’t know.

HARRY
If only I had some way…wait a minute.

RON
What?

HARRY
I think I have a way to get Malfoy followed.

RON
Followed?

HARRY
I just remembered...remember Dumbledore told me I own Grimmauld Place now.

RON
So?

HARRY
Kreacher!

In the middle of the room Kreacher and Dobby apparate and they’re both fighting each other.

DOBBY
Kreacher will not insult Harry Potter in front of Dobby!!!

KREACHER
Kreacher will say what he likes about master, filthy friend of Mudbloods, what would poor Kreachers mistress…

Dobby punches him in his mouth and Kreacher lets out a scream and starts clawing at Dobby. Ron and Harry jump out of the bed and tries to pull them apart. They continue to kick and swing at each other as they pulled apart.

HARRY
I forbid you to fight each other!

They both stop and stare at each other.

HARRY
Dobby…what are you doing here?

DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!

RON
Just what we need…

HARRY
Well as I’m sure you know by now Kreacher I’m your new master…and I’ve got a job for you.

KREACHER
Kreacher will do whatever Master wants, because Kreacher has no choice, but Kreacher is ashamed to have such a master, yes…

DOBBY
Dobby will do it, Harry Potter! Dobby would be honored.

HARRY
It would be good to have both of you now that I think of it. I want you to tail Draco Malfoy.

RON
What!

HARRY
I want to know where he’s going, who he’s meeting, and what he’s doing. I want you to follow him around the clock.

DOBBY
Yes, Harry Potter!

KREACHER
Master wants me to spy upon the pure-blood great-nephew of my old mistress?

HARRY
Yeah and you’re forbidden to tip him off, or to show him what you’re up to, or to talk to him at all, or to write him messages or…or to contact him in any way. Got it?

KREACHER
Master thinks of everything, and Kreacher must obey him even though Kreacher would much rather be the servant of the Malfoy boy, oh yes…

HARRY
That’s settled then.

Kreacher and Dobby both snap their fingers and disappear.

RON
Harry, what the…

HARRY
I don’t want to hear it Ron ok.

We see a shot of Ron looking at Harry with concern as we cut to another sweeping shot of Hogwarts. We then cut to Harry and Ron walking down a hallway in their school robes. Harry is looking through his potions book.

INT. HOGWARTS- CORRIDOR-EVENING (Days later)

RON
I’m gonna miss lying up in the hospital wing…being pampered day and night…it’s the good life…

HARRY
Yeah and now we have loads of make up work to do.

RON
Anything good in there the prince has to say?

HARRY
There is this spell, Sectumsempra, it says For Enemies. I wonder what it does.

RON
Dunno, just make sure you don’t try it out on me will you.

HARRY
I don’t know; just make sure you stay on my good side.

We hear a noise and both Harry and Ron stop in their tracks. Harry walks slowly around the corner and looks around it.

HARRY
Dobby?

The camera pans and shows Dobby hiding behind one of the statues in the hallway.

DOBBY
Dobby has come to report news on the Malfoy boy.

RON
Wow you work fast….

HARRY
Where’s Kreacher…you know what...nevermind…what do you have to tell me?

DOBBY
The Malfoy boy is breaking no rules that Dobby can discover. He has, however, been making regular visits to the seventh floor with a variety of other students, who keep watch for him while he enters…

HARRY
The Room of Requirements…

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT

The scene fades to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in front of the fire place in the Gryffindor common room.

HARRY
How good is this, we know where Malfoy’s going!

RON
(He is writing out his DADA homework and says very dryly..)
Yeah it’s great

HERMIONE
Before you get excited Harry, I still don’t think you’ll be able to get into the Room of Requirments without knowing what’s there first. You have to know exactly what Malfoy wants from the room. And besides you should be concentrating on getting the memory from Slughorn…

HARRY
I haven’t forgotten about Slughorn, but I haven’t a clue how to get that memory off him, and until I get a brain wave or something, why shouldn’t I find out what Malfoy’s doing?

Hermione gives a sigh and opens up a book.

HARRY
Wait a moment….what does the Room of Requirement have to do with that Vanishing Cabinet? Hermione….what exactly is a Vanishing Cabinet used for?

HERMIONE
Plenty of things…the most common thing is it acts as a sort of a gateway between two points.

HARRY
What do you mean?

HERMIONE
Well one can travel from one point to another almost instantly with a vanishing cabinet…it’s like a simple form of apparition.

RON
This is ridiculous! How could Snape possibly think we’d finish this essay! I can’t get a hang of apparation and the tests are coming up as well, I can’t take all this pressure!

HERMIONE
Harry and I finished it days ago Ronald, that’s what you get for waiting to the last minute. And Apparation isn’t that bad, you saw that Harry attempted it.

HARRY
Do you think there could be a vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement?

HERMIONE
Harry I know what you’re going to say….

HARRY
It makes sense Hermione. If there’s a cabinet in the room and it’s connected to the one in Borgin and Burke’s….

HERMIONE
Then how come it hasn’t been used already Harry? If what you’re saying is true someone other than Draco knows about it and how come they didn’t use it? Death Eaters would be swarming the school by now…

HARRY
But don’t you remember Hermione Draco has to fix something! I bet the cabinet in the room of requirement has to be fixed and once it’s done it’s a one way pass into Hogwarts right under all of our noses!

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry that’s not very likely…and besides you forget we have Dumbledore…no death eater in their right minds would dare come into the school as long as Dumbledore’s around…

Harry sighs in defeat knowing there was no point in arguing.

RON
I’m never gonna finish this…

HERMIONE
(Frustrated)
Oh honestly Ron…
(She grabs the parchment from him)
I’ll finish it for you!

RON
I love you, Hermione

He sits back in his chair relived and Hermione blushes slightly and begins to write as the scene fades to…

INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-NIGHT

The scene cuts to a shot of the hallway and then SWOOSH Harry takes off his invisibility cloak. He slowly begins walking down the hallway on the seventh floor towards where the Room of Requirement is. He stands in front of the wall and looks around before proceeding.

HARRY
I need to see what Malfoy’s doing in here….

Nothing happens.

HARRY
Right…maybe I need to be more specific…I need you to become the place you become for Draco Malfoy….

Nothing happens again.

HARRY
Oh, come off it. That was a clear instruction! Alright how about this…I need you to become the place where Draco is fixing a vanishing cabinet….

Nothing happens again and Harry angrily kicks the wall and quickly regrets it as he yells out in pain.

EXT. THE ENTRANCE COURTYARD-AFTERNOON

The scene cuts to a shot of students walking down the hallways of Hogwarts. It then cuts to Harry sitting alone reading his Potions book again. We see Ron and Hermione walk up behind him. Hermione is smiling wheras Ron looks upset.

HERMIONE
Harry! I passed the Apparation tests!

HARRY
Don’t think I expected anything less of you. Ron how did you do?

RON
How do you think I did! I failed of course!

HARRY
What happened?

HERMIONE
It was really unlucky; he’d left half an eyebrow behind.

RON
Half an eyebrow, HALF AN EYEBROW!

HERMIONE
Well it could’ve been worse.

RON
Oh come off it Hermione.

Luna walks up to them holding an item that looks like a green onion, a large spotted toadstool, and a considerable amount of what looks like cat litter.

LUNA
HARRY!

HARRY
Hey Luna…

Luna thrust the item into Ron’s hand and pulls out a letter.

LUNA
I’ve been told to give you this.

She hands the letter to Harry.

RON
What the bloody hell is this thing?

LUNA
It’s a Gurdyroot of course! You can keep it if you like; they’re really excellent for warding off Gulping Plimpies.

RON
Um, No thanks.

Ron hands it back to Luna

LUNA
Ok then…

She grabs it and walks away humming a tune.

RON
You know, she’s grown on me, I know she’s insane, but it’s in a good…

HARRY
Oh no.

HERMIONE
What is it? Is it Dumbledore?

HARRY
No, Aragog died. He wants us to come to the funeral.

RON
He’s mental! That thing told its mates to eat Harry and Me!

HERMIONE
You’re not going are you…Harry you can’t! It’s such a pointless thing to get detention over. You should be trying to get that memory from Slughorn!

HARRY
Don’t you think I’ve been trying?

HERMIONE
How?

HARRY
I…well….it doesn’t matter how! I’ve tried it hundreds of times; I just can’t get any luck.

RON
Luck! Harry, you could use your lucky potion!

HERMIONE
Ron, that’s it!

INT-BOYS DORMITORY/GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to a shot of the bottle and pans back to see Harry looking at it

HARRY
Well, here goes.

Harry takes a little sip out of it.

HERMIONE
What does it feel like?

The screen gets this little haze over it showing that the potion is working.

HARRY
Excellent! Right…I’m going down to Hagrids!


HERMIONE AND RON
What!

HERMIONE
You’ve got to go and see Slughorn!

HARRY
No, I’m going to Hagrids, I’ve got a good feeling about going to Hagrids!

He grabs his invisibility cloak and puts it on. He proceeds to walk down the stairs as Hermione and Ron follow. Harry walks out of the door and we see Lavender standing there as Hermione and Ron come out of the door.

LAVENDER
What are you doing up there with her!

We see Harry walk towards the portrait hole and Ginny and Dean are entering it. He walks past them and brushes lightly against Ginny.

GINNY
Don’t push me, please, Dean! You’re always doing that, I can get through perfectly well on my own…

EXT. HOGWARTS GROUNDS-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Harry is now outside walking towards Hagrids and we see Slughorn walking towards him. Harry smiles and simply takes off the Cloak and runs towards him.

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard! Harry, how did you get out of the castle?

HARRY
Filch must’ve forgotten to lock the doors.

SLUGHORN
Why are you out here?

HARRY
You see sir, it’s Hagrid, he’s pretty upset. But you won’t tell anyone, Professor? I don’t want trouble for him…

SLUGHORN
Well I can’t promise that, but I know that Dumbledore trusts Hagrid to the hilt.

HARRY
Well, it’s this giant spider, he’s had it for years, it lived in the forest and could talk and everything. It died last night, and he wants company while he buries it and I said I’d go.

SLUGHORN
I heard rumors there were acromantulas in the forest. And their venom is very valuable indeed, and the creature just died, seems like an awful waste not to collect it.

HARRY
Well, if you wanted to come, Professor, Hagrid would probably be really pleased.

Harry smiles as he see’s the look of excitement in Slughorns eyes and the scene cuts to…

EXT. HAGRIDS HUT-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

A wide shot of Hogwarts and we see a giant dead spider in the distance. The scene then fades to Harry, Hagrid, Fang, and Slughorn walking towards Hagrid’s Hut.

HAGRID
I had him from an egg, yeh know. Thank ye for coming out tonight.

SLUGHORN
No problem Hagrid, it’s our pleasure.

We see him turn around and pull out the bottle full of poison.

SLUGHORN
It was my pleasure.

He chuckles and puts it back in his pocket.

HAGRID
Do you’ wan anything to drink?

SLUGHORN
Why…yes…

INT. HAGRID HUT-LATER THAT NIGHT

The scene cuts to Hagrid and Slughorn hitting mugs together sloppily. Its apparent they’ve been drinking for quite some time now.

HAGRID
I’d like to…make a toast..Harry Potter!

SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing) And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….

HAGRID
The good die young…me dad was no age ter go…nor were yer mum an’ dad Harry…terrible thing.

Hagrid then hiccups and falls to the ground asleep with a loud BOOM

SLUGHORN
Sorry, can’t carry a tune to save my life. Apparently put that poor bloke to sleep!

HARRY
Hagrid wasn’t talking about your singing; he was talking about my mum and dad dying.

SLUGHORN
Oh, terrible. I don’t suppose you remember it, Harry?

HARRY
No, I was only one when they died. My dad died first, did you know that?

SLUGHORN
I…I didn’t.

HARRY
Yeah, Voldemort murdered him and then stepped over his body towards my mum. He told her to get out of the way. He told her she needn’t have died, he only wanted me. She could have run.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, that’s awful…

HARRY
It is, isn’t it! She didn’t move, dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with him…but he just laughed…

SLUGHORN
That’s enough! Really, my dear boy, I’m an old man…I don’t need to hear…

HARRY
I forgot, you liked her, didn’t you.

SLUGHORN
Liked her? I don’t imagine anyone who met her wouldn’t have liked her….

HARRY
But you won’t help her son. She gave me her life, but you won’t give me a memory.

Slughorn looks down at Harry and tears slowly form in his eyes.

SLUGHORN
Don’t say that…if it were to help you, of course…but no purpose can be served.

HARRY
It can. I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory.

SLUGHORN
You are the Chosen One?

HARRY
Of course I am.

SLUGHORN
You’re asking a great deal…to aid you in your attempt to destroy…

HARRY
You don’t want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?

SLUGHORN
OF course I do Harry, but….

HARRY
You’re scared he’ll find out you helped me? Be brave like my mother, Professor.

SLUGHORN
I am not proud of what that memory shows…I think I may have done great damage that day.

HARRY
You’d cancel out anything you did by giving me that memory. It would be a very brave and noble thing to do.

Slughorn stares at Harry for a second and the camera zoom’s in on Harry’s eyes. Slughorn then pulls his wand out. He places the tip of his wand to his head and pulls out the long threads of the memory and places it into a bottle and corks it. He hands it to Harry.

HARRY
Thank you very much, Professor.

SLUGHORN
You’re a good boy, and you’ve got her eyes…just don’t think too badly of me once you’ve seen it.

He yawns and then lays back and falls asleep.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-LATER THAT NIGHT

The spell vision is gone as Hary knocks on Dumbledore’s office door

DUMBLEDORE
Enter!

Harry walks in with a huge smile on his face

DUMBLEDORE
Good gracious Harry, to what do I owe this very late pleasure?

HARRY
Sir, I’ve got the memory from Slughorn.

He pulls it out and shows it to him.

DUMBLEDORE
Spectacular Harry! Very well done indeed! I knew you could do it!

He walks up to Harry and takes the bottle and walks over to the Pensive.

DUMBLEDORE
And finally, we shall see.

He pours it into the pensive and we see Dumbledore smile at Harry. We now see Harry and Dumbledore standing in the same room where Tom Riddle and Slughorn was in the earlier memory.

INT-SLUGHORNS OFFICE-NIGHT (PAST)

Standing there is a much younger Slughorn holding on to a pineapple with a big grin in his face. Standing across from his is a Teenaged TOM RIDDLE in the room with a young Bellatrix, AVERY, ALECTO, and AMYCUS.

SLUGHORN
Thank you for the pineapple Tom, you’re quite right, it is my favorite!

Slughorn looks down at the small golden clock on his desk.

SLUGHORN
Good gracious, is it that time already? You all better get going, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention! Same goes for you, Avery.

They rest of them gather their things and begin to leave. Bellatrix throws a smile at Tom before exiting as Slughorn sorts through paper on his desk. He looks up and notices Tom standing there.

SLUGHORN
Look sharp Tom. You don’t want to be caught out of bed out of hours….

Tom looks down and twists the RING with a BLACK STONE around his finger and looks up at Slughorn.
TOM
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away…

TOM
Sir, I wondered what you know about….about Horcruxes?

SLUGHORN
Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?

TOM
Not exactly sir, I came across the term while reading and I didn’t fully understand it.

SLUGHORN
You’d be hard pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that’ll give you details on Horcruxes. That’s very Dark stuff Tom.

TOM
You obviously know all about them, I mean a wizard like you. If you can’t tell me, I’d understand. I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could.

SLUGHORN
Well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.

TOM
I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir.

SLUGHORN
Well, you split your soul, you see. And hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one’s body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of their soul remains earthbound and undamaged. Few would want this however Tom, death would be preferable.

TOM
How do you split your soul?

SLUGHORN
By committing murder, the supreme act of evil. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion…

TOM
Encase? But how…

SLUGHORN
There is a spell, do not ask me, I don’t know. Do I look as though I have tried it?

TOM
No sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

SLUGHORN
Not offended Tom, it’s natural to feel curiousity about these things.

TOM
Sir, what I want to know is, will one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, isn’t seven the most powerful magical number?

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard, Tom! Seven! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person? In any case, it’s bad enough to divide the soul…but to rip it into seven pieces…this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing isn’t it? All academic…

TOM
Yes, of course.

SLUGHORN
Keep it quiet, what I’ve told you. It’s a banned subject in Hogwarts…Dumbledore’s particularly fierce about it!

TOM
I won’t say a word sir.

He smiles and we see what looks like a flash of red in his eyes as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s shoulder and FLASH we’re back in his office.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Dumbledore stands looking at the Pensieve for a moment in silence. Harry watches in equal silence as Dumbledore turns and starts to walk towards his desk.

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls were two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

Dumbledore opens up the desk and pulls out the diary that Harry destroyed in year two and sits it on his desk.

HARRY
That’s Tom Riddle’s diary…wait…that was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

He reaches into his desk again and pulls out the ring he was wearing earlier in the film and sits it on his desk aswell.

HARRY
That ring? You were wearing that when you picked me up from the Dursleys…wait…didn’t Voldemort have it on in that memory? Was it also a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry. It belonged to his mother…it was terribly hard to find...but I did and destroyed it.

He holds up his now worse blackened hand for Harry to see. Harry stares at it for a moment and looks down at the ring.

HARRY
So if we destroy all the Horcruxes…

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort can be killed.

Harry looks down at the ring again and slowly reaches out to touch it and SWOOSH we see flashes of Nagini, Dumbledore putting the ring on his hand and his hand slowly decaying as he does, the locket around Tom Riddle’s neck, a small CUP falling out of a woman’s hand, Tom Riddle walking down the halls of Hogwarts holding a DIADEM with a smile on his face, and the diary and SWOOSH we see Harry pull his hand back quickly as a spark shoots from the ring. Harry holds his hand in pain and Dumbledore looks down at him with a quiet look of concern.

HARRY
What just happened sir?

DUMBLEDORE
It seemed like some sort of flesh memory but that’s impossible unless.……

His eyes widen as he stares at Harry and he walks around his desk towards them.

HARRY
Sir what’s wrong.

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces Harry…sometimes it’s something so…small….

He places his hand on Harry’s chest and pulls it back quickly. Harry looks down at his chest curiously.

HARRY
Sir…I was just thinking…even if we destroy all the Horcruxes…Voldemort is still really powerful. I’m not nearly as powerful as him.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power the dark lord knows not Harry…

HARRY
Love? Dumbledore how can love possibly help me defeat him?

DUMBLEDORE
Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it Harry. I can only hope you realize it’s importance…because only that is the key to winning against him.

Dumbledore turns his back on Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
I think I may be close to finding another Horcrux and I may need someone to accompany me to get it. I just ask one favor; from now on always keep your invisibility cloak with you Harry. Never let it out of your sight.

Dumbledore turns around and looks at Harry with a weak smile. Harry nods as the screen slowly fades.

INT. HOGWARTS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

We see Harry walking slowly down the halls of Hogwarts. He takes a seat next to a window and looks out of it. He puts his hand on his chest and sighs.

INT. GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM-NIGHT

The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione sitting in the dark common room.

HERMIONE
So when you touched the ring you saw images of all the Horcruxes?

HARRY
Yeah...after it happened Dumbledore started acting really strange. What would cause that to happen?

HERMIONE
I’m not sure Harry. Maybe it has something to do with the connection between you and Voldemort. You can never be sure with dark magic.

HARRY
So what have you two been up too?

RON
Well Lavender dumped me when she saw me coming out of the dormitory with Hermione.

HARRY
Well you don’t mind it’s over, do you?

RON
No, it was pretty bad while she was yelling, but atleast I didn’t have to finish it

HERMIONE
Well, it was a bad night for romance all around. Ginny and Dean broke up aswell…

HARRY
Really? Why?

HERMIONE
Something silly about him always trying to help her through the portrait hole.

They look up as Ginny walks into the common room.

RON
Where have you been? What are you coming in this late for?

GINNY
None of you business Ron…what’s going on?

HARRY
You alright Ginny?

GINNY
Yeah fine…

She takes a seat next to Ron.

GINNY
I was just walking around thinking actually…ran into Draco…

HARRY
Really? Where was he?

GINNY
Leaving the seventh floor….why?

Harry looks over at Ron and Hermione and quickly grabs his bag and pulls out the Mauraders Map.

HERMIONE
Harry don’t…..

HARRY
I solemny swear that I am up to no good.

He looks into the map and smiles.

HARRY
There you are.

INT. DARK CORRIDOR/BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT

Harry looks over his shoulder as he turns down the hall where he saw Draco’s position on the map. He pauses at the boy’s bathroom and hears crying on the inside. He slowly walks into it and we see Draco on his kneeling over the sink crying and whispering to himself.

DRACO
I can’t do this…it won’t work…he’s going to kill me…

He looks up and notices in the mirror in front of him Harry standing there. He quickly pulls out his wand and a spell flies off his wand hitting the wall beside Harry. Harry pulls out his wand and throws out a spell and Malfoy blocks it.

DRACO
I’ve had enough of your meddling Potter!

Malfoy throws another non verbal spell that Harry ducks and it explodes the toilet behind him. Harry throws a spell that Malfoy jumps out of the way of.

HARRY
So finish it then!

MALFOY
Crucio!

Harry ducks behind into a stall and narrowly avoids the curse.

HARRY
EXPELLIARMUS!

DRACO
PROTEGO!

The spell deflects back onto Harry knocking him off of his feet. Harry immediately jumps to his feet as Draco points his wand at him.

DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.


__________________

"In my life I have seen things that are unimaginably
horrific. I know now...you will see worse."
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  #183  
Old June 5th, 2008, 8:52 am
ArryGrotter's Avatar
ArryGrotter  Male.gif ArryGrotter is offline
Too... Much... Fangirling...
 
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Age: 27
Posts: 3,281
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

I'm bored, so I thought I'd reply...

Quote:
The door to the hospital wing opens and Ginny walks in carrying Harry’s broom.

GINNY
Alright Harry?

HARRY
Yeah fine…thanks…

GINNY
Thought I’d drop this off.

She sits the broom next to Harry’s bed.

HARRY
So how did the game go?

GINNY
You don’t want to know…sad thing is Luna’s commentary was the only highlight. Well I’ll leave you two…get better soon Harry.

She smiles and walks away as Ron starts eating on some candy. Harry watches as she closes the door and lays back in the bed and closes his eyes.
I don't understand why Ginny's suddenly here...
Can't Ron give this info? He did in the book...

Quote:
INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room.

RON
What’s going on?

HARRY
Ron…wait...it’s not what you think!

Ron pulls out his wand and walks angrily up to Harry.

RON
I thought you were my friend Harry!

HARRY
Wait…Ron…I’m sorry…

Ron draws back and his fist flies towards Harry’s face as Harry opens his eyes.
OK, now I see why

OK, nice scene, but I don't like Ginny being compared to Cho...

Quote:
HARRY
Kreacher!

In the middle of the room Kreacher and Dobby apparate and they’re both fighting each other.

DOBBY
Kreacher will not insult Harry Potter in front of Dobby!!!

KREACHER
Kreacher will say what he likes about master, filthy friend of Mudbloods, what would poor Kreachers mistress…

Dobby punches him in his mouth and Kreacher lets out a scream and starts clawing at Dobby. Ron and Harry jump out of the bed and tries to pull them apart. They continue to kick and swing at each other as they pulled apart.
YAY!!! ELVES!!!

Quote:
DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!
This is how easy it is too re-introduce Dobby!

NTW, I love that whole scene

Quote:
HERMIONE
(Frustrated)
Oh honestly Ron…
(She grabs the parchment from him)
I’ll finish it for you!

RON
I love you, Hermione

He sits back in his chair relived and Hermione blushes slightly and begins to write as the scene fades to…


Quote:
INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-NIGHT

The scene cuts to a shot of the hallway and then SWOOSH Harry takes off his invisibility cloak. He slowly begins walking down the hallway on the seventh floor towards where the Room of Requirement is. He stands in front of the wall and looks around before proceeding.

HARRY
I need to see what Malfoy’s doing in here….

Nothing happens.

HARRY
Right…maybe I need to be more specific…I need you to become the place you become for Draco Malfoy….

Nothing happens again.

HARRY
Oh, come off it. That was a clear instruction! Alright how about this…I need you to become the place where Draco is fixing a vanishing cabinet….

Nothing happens again and Harry angrily kicks the wall and quickly regrets it as he yells out in pain.
I'm not sure if this scene is very cinematic

Quote:
The screen gets this little haze over it showing that the potion is working.
Not entirely sure if I'd want this effect...

Quote:
SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing) And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….
Odo the Hero...

Quote:
INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-LATER THAT NIGHT

The spell vision is gone as Hary knocks on Dumbledore’s office door

DUMBLEDORE
Enter!

Harry walks in with a huge smile on his face

DUMBLEDORE
Good gracious Harry, to what do I owe this very late pleasure?

HARRY
Sir, I’ve got the memory from Slughorn.

He pulls it out and shows it to him.

DUMBLEDORE
Spectacular Harry! Very well done indeed! I knew you could do it!

He walks up to Harry and takes the bottle and walks over to the Pensive.

DUMBLEDORE
And finally, we shall see.

He pours it into the pensive and we see Dumbledore smile at Harry. We now see Harry and Dumbledore standing in the same room where Tom Riddle and Slughorn was in the earlier memory.

INT-SLUGHORNS OFFICE-NIGHT (PAST)

Standing there is a much younger Slughorn holding on to a pineapple with a big grin in his face. Standing across from his is a Teenaged TOM RIDDLE in the room with a young Bellatrix, AVERY, ALECTO, and AMYCUS.

SLUGHORN
Thank you for the pineapple Tom, you’re quite right, it is my favorite!

Slughorn looks down at the small golden clock on his desk.

SLUGHORN
Good gracious, is it that time already? You all better get going, or we’ll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it’s detention! Same goes for you, Avery.

They rest of them gather their things and begin to leave. Bellatrix throws a smile at Tom before exiting as Slughorn sorts through paper on his desk. He looks up and notices Tom standing there.

SLUGHORN
Look sharp Tom. You don’t want to be caught out of bed out of hours….

Tom looks down and twists the RING with a BLACK STONE around his finger and looks up at Slughorn.
TOM
Sir, I wanted to ask you something.

SLUGHORN
Ask away, then, m’boy, ask away…

TOM
Sir, I wondered what you know about….about Horcruxes?

SLUGHORN
Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?

TOM
Not exactly sir, I came across the term while reading and I didn’t fully understand it.

SLUGHORN
You’d be hard pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that’ll give you details on Horcruxes. That’s very Dark stuff Tom.

TOM
You obviously know all about them, I mean a wizard like you. If you can’t tell me, I’d understand. I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could.

SLUGHORN
Well, it can’t hurt to give you an overview. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.

TOM
I don’t quite understand how that works, though, sir.

SLUGHORN
Well, you split your soul, you see. And hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one’s body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of their soul remains earthbound and undamaged. Few would want this however Tom, death would be preferable.

TOM
How do you split your soul?

SLUGHORN
By committing murder, the supreme act of evil. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: He would encase the torn portion…

TOM
Encase? But how…

SLUGHORN
There is a spell, do not ask me, I don’t know. Do I look as though I have tried it?

TOM
No sir, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.

SLUGHORN
Not offended Tom, it’s natural to feel curiousity about these things.

TOM
Sir, what I want to know is, will one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, isn’t seven the most powerful magical number?

SLUGHORN
Merlin’s beard, Tom! Seven! Isn’t it bad enough to think of killing one person? In any case, it’s bad enough to divide the soul…but to rip it into seven pieces…this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing isn’t it? All academic…

TOM
Yes, of course.

SLUGHORN
Keep it quiet, what I’ve told you. It’s a banned subject in Hogwarts…Dumbledore’s particularly fierce about it!

TOM
I won’t say a word sir.

He smiles and we see what looks like a flash of red in his eyes as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s shoulder and FLASH we’re back in his office.

INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Dumbledore stands looking at the Pensieve for a moment in silence. Harry watches in equal silence as Dumbledore turns and starts to walk towards his desk.

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls were two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

Dumbledore opens up the desk and pulls out the diary that Harry destroyed in year two and sits it on his desk.

HARRY
That’s Tom Riddle’s diary…wait…that was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

He reaches into his desk again and pulls out the ring he was wearing earlier in the film and sits it on his desk aswell.

HARRY
That ring? You were wearing that when you picked me up from the Dursleys…wait…didn’t Voldemort have it on in that memory? Was it also a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry. It belonged to his mother…it was terribly hard to find...but I did and destroyed it.

He holds up his now worse blackened hand for Harry to see. Harry stares at it for a moment and looks down at the ring.

HARRY
So if we destroy all the Horcruxes…

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort can be killed.

Harry looks down at the ring again and slowly reaches out to touch it and SWOOSH we see flashes of Nagini, Dumbledore putting the ring on his hand and his hand slowly decaying as he does, the locket around Tom Riddle’s neck, a small CUP falling out of a woman’s hand, Tom Riddle walking down the halls of Hogwarts holding a DIADEM with a smile on his face, and the diary and SWOOSH we see Harry pull his hand back quickly as a spark shoots from the ring. Harry holds his hand in pain and Dumbledore looks down at him with a quiet look of concern.

HARRY
What just happened sir?

DUMBLEDORE
It seemed like some sort of flesh memory but that’s impossible unless.……

His eyes widen as he stares at Harry and he walks around his desk towards them.

HARRY
Sir what’s wrong.

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces Harry…sometimes it’s something so…small….

He places his hand on Harry’s chest and pulls it back quickly. Harry looks down at his chest curiously.

HARRY
Sir…I was just thinking…even if we destroy all the Horcruxes…Voldemort is still really powerful. I’m not nearly as powerful as him.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power the dark lord knows not Harry…

HARRY
Love? Dumbledore how can love possibly help me defeat him?

DUMBLEDORE
Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it Harry. I can only hope you realize it’s importance…because only that is the key to winning against him.

Dumbledore turns his back on Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
I think I may be close to finding another Horcrux and I may need someone to accompany me to get it. I just ask one favor; from now on always keep your invisibility cloak with you Harry. Never let it out of your sight.

Dumbledore turns around and looks at Harry with a weak smile. Harry nods as the screen slowly fades.

INT. HOGWARTS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

We see Harry walking slowly down the halls of Hogwarts. He takes a seat next to a window and looks out of it. He puts his hand on his chest and sighs.
This seems too familiar (), but I like that you add the love reference.

Quote:
DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.
Cliffhanger!!! Ooooh!!!

Good work


__________________
And none will come after...
Farewell to the Harry Potter films

(this was written way before Fantastic Beasts was a thing... )

A true - CoS and Pottermore!
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  #184  
Old June 5th, 2008, 12:09 pm
lcbaseball22  Male.gif lcbaseball22 is offline
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Posts: 5,657
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
Now I better see some input on this or I may take longer next time
Oh no!!! Well, in that case I better reply to BOTH, the previous one AND the last one which I forgot about, Sorry!

Ok, I'm going in order this time, rather than Good then Bad or vice versa

Quote:
INT. HOGWARTS-DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS-MOMENTS LATER

SNAPE
Late again, Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor.

Seamus raises his hand as a few Slytherians chuckle at Harry.

SEAMUS
Sir! I’ve been wondering, how do you tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost? Because there was something in the paper about an Inferious….

SNAPE
No, there wasn’t….

RON
(Whispering to Harry)
Well?

HARRY
No luck…he stormed out on me…..

SNAPE
Since Potter seems to have a lot to say on the subject.

Harry and Ron look up and notice Snape looking right down at them.

SNAPE
Mr. Finnegan would like to know Potter….how can we tell the difference between an Inferius and a ghost?

HARRY
Well….er…ghosts are transparent….

SNAPE
Oh, very good. Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.

Most of the class begins to laugh and Snape does a slight smirk before turning away from Harry.

SNAPE
The Inferius is a corpse that has been reanimated by a Dark wizard’s spell. It is not alive, it is merely used like a puppet to do the wizard’s bidding.

SEAMUS
Is there no way to defeat them sir?

SNAPE
Fire is known to be the most common use for fighting against the Inferius. Now enough friendly chatter all of you open your books to page two hundred and thirteen.
I really HOPE that line about Magical Education not being wasted is in the film, it's just too good not to be, right? I'm imagining Mr. Rickman saying this as I type

I noticed you left out Snape's actual explanation of the difference, which I suppose is best since Ghosts aren't the important part! But, you end up losing Ron's wisecrack, "Excuse me Sir, are you imprint of a dead soul?"

Quote:
INT. THE GREAT HALL-EVENING

TWYCROSS
Now the important things to remember when Apparating are the three D’s. Destination, Determination, Deliberation! Fix your mind firmly upon the desired destination, focus your determination to occupy the visualized space, and only when I give the command turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with deliberation! Now, One, Two, THREE!!

The students all close their eyes and have a strained look on their face. We see Harry open one of his eyes to look around and notice that everyone else just seems to be standing. All of a sudden Neville faints and everyone opens their eyes and laugh.


TWYCROSS
Now now everyone concentrate! Lets try this again won’t we…One, Two, THREE!!!!

They close their eyes start spinning and some start falling on the floor. One student lets out of screech of pain as one student is in the hoop while one leg is still on the outside. Twycross waves his wand and there’s a puff of purple smoke and the student is back together.

TWYCROSS
That was called Splinching, or the separation of random body parts occurs when the mind is insufficiently determined. Now once again, GO!

The students close their eyes and the camera zooms in on Harry. He disappears and reappears in the circle hoop. He opens his eyes and everyone stares at him. Some look in amazement whereas Draco and his friends frown at Harry’s accomplishment.

TWYCROSS
Very good Mr. Potter, very good! Now lets go at it again why won’t we
I'm glad you kept the Appariton Lesson, I wonder if Kloves will do the same, hmm. I really think it's a good idea considering how much apparition is used from here on out, it needs to be explained! Though, it's a bit odd, because in the Films apparition appears to be "smoke flying" at times and "snapping your fingers" at others. Neither of which matches what's in the Book and what you have here!

Quote:
HERMIONE
Looks like Dumbledore’s back…

We now see that the figures walking are Dumbledore and Snape. Harry holds up a finger to his lips to signal that Hermione should keep quiet and he slowly walks down towards them while remaining in the shadows. Harry finds a spot behind a tree and stays there as Dumbledore and Snape slowly walk past the spot.

SNAPE
You take a great deal for granted, Dumbledore…perhaps I’ve changed my mind!

DUMBLEDORE
You gave me your word, Severus.

Dumbledore turns and says something that Harry can’t hear but we see him struggle to. Snape stares at Dumbledore for a moment in silence and Dumbledore looks away, sighs, and continues to walk.

DUMBLEDORE
Come to my office tonight, Severus, at eleven, and you shall not complain that I have no confidence in you. Right now I’m afraid we may not be alone and such topics shouldn’t be discussed out in the open.
Good idea! I like how Harry hears this first-hand rather than from, it was Hagrid, wasn't it?

Quote:
EXT. HOGWARTS-QUIDDITCH FIELD-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to the Quidditch game already in session. We see a player from the Hufflepuff team fly by with the Quaffle and then the camera moves towards the crowd to show Luna with the microphone.

LUNA
And that’s Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle. Oh look, he’s lost the Quaffle again, he must be suffering from loser’s largy. He can’t seem to hold the Quaffle for very long. Ginny took it from him this time, I do like her, she’s very nice….

We see McGonagall cast a look at Luna and then the camera cuts back to Harry as he hovers above them. He watches Ginny as she flies quickly towards the goal posts but the Quaffle is taken from her by an opposing player.

LUNA
Oh it seems like that big Hufflepuff player’s got the Quaffle from her, I can’t remember his name, it’s something like Bibble…no…Buggins…

MCGONAGALL
It’s Cadwallader!

LUNA
Thank you professor. And if anyone is interesting there’s this interesting cloud that seems to be shaped like a nargle right there if you look past Harry Potter.
Yea, Luna's Commentary!!!

I really hope we get this in the film, it's completley unecessary, but it's so funny!


Ok, now on to your most recent portion:

Quote:
INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room.
Um, I think I got a DOUBLE dose of DEJA VU!

Not only does this mirror the Cho Kiss, but didn't you have this SAME dream earlier?

Now I realize that Ron makes an entrance this time, but still... you're overdoing it a bit!
Quote:
HARRY
Kreacher!

In the middle of the room Kreacher and Dobby apparate and they’re both fighting each other.

DOBBY
Kreacher will not insult Harry Potter in front of Dobby!!!

KREACHER
Kreacher will say what he likes about master, filthy friend of Mudbloods, what would poor Kreachers mistress…

Dobby punches him in his mouth and Kreacher lets out a scream and starts clawing at Dobby. Ron and Harry jump out of the bed and tries to pull them apart. They continue to kick and swing at each other as they pulled apart.

HARRY
I forbid you to fight each other!

They both stop and stare at each other.

HARRY
Dobby…what are you doing here?

DOBBY
Greetings Harry Potter sir! Dumbledore hired Dobby to work in the kitchens with the other house elves sir! Shortly after Harry Potter freed Dobby from the evil Malfoys!

RON
Just what we need…

HARRY
Well as I’m sure you know by now Kreacher I’m your new master…and I’ve got a job for you.

KREACHER
Kreacher will do whatever Master wants, because Kreacher has no choice, but Kreacher is ashamed to have such a master, yes…

DOBBY
Dobby will do it, Harry Potter! Dobby would be honored.

HARRY
It would be good to have both of you now that I think of it. I want you to tail Draco Malfoy.

RON
What!

HARRY
I want to know where he’s going, who he’s meeting, and what he’s doing. I want you to follow him around the clock.

DOBBY
Yes, Harry Potter!

KREACHER
Master wants me to spy upon the pure-blood great-nephew of my old mistress?

HARRY
Yeah and you’re forbidden to tip him off, or to show him what you’re up to, or to talk to him at all, or to write him messages or…or to contact him in any way. Got it?

KREACHER
Master thinks of everything, and Kreacher must obey him even though Kreacher would much rather be the servant of the Malfoy boy, oh yes…

HARRY
That’s settled then.

Kreacher and Dobby both snap their fingers and disappear.


As you can tell from our recent sig additions, Arry and I would be VERY pleased if this makes it into the film!

It's simply the perfect scene to contrast the differences between the Elves and to highlight Dobby's devotion for Harry!


Quote:
HARRY
Dobby?

The camera pans and shows Dobby hiding behind one of the statues in the hallway.

DOBBY
Dobby has come to report news on the Malfoy boy.

RON
Wow you work fast….

HARRY
Where’s Kreacher…you know what...nevermind…what do you have to tell me?

DOBBY
The Malfoy boy is breaking no rules that Dobby can discover. He has, however, been making regular visits to the seventh floor with a variety of other students, who keep watch for him while he enters…

HARRY
The Room of Requirements…
Yea, it's DOBBY again! It's different than in the Book, but there is no need for Kreacher in the "report" scene and it continues to re-establish the devotion Dobby has for Harry. I like the "Wow you work fast" line, it reminds me of "Dobby hasn't slept for a week sir"

Quote:
HARRY
Wait a moment….what does the Room of Requirement have to do with that Vanishing Cabinet? Hermione….what exactly is a Vanishing Cabinet used for?

HERMIONE
Plenty of things…the most common thing is it acts as a sort of a gateway between two points.

HARRY
What do you mean?

HERMIONE
Well one can travel from one point to another almost instantly with a vanishing cabinet…it’s like a simple form of apparition.

RON
This is ridiculous! How could Snape possibly think we’d finish this essay! I can’t get a hang of apparation and the tests are coming up as well, I can’t take all this pressure!

HERMIONE
Harry and I finished it days ago Ronald, that’s what you get for waiting to the last minute. And Apparation isn’t that bad, you saw that Harry attempted it.

HARRY
Do you think there could be a vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement?

HERMIONE
Harry I know what you’re going to say….

HARRY
It makes sense Hermione. If there’s a cabinet in the room and it’s connected to the one in Borgin and Burke’s….

HERMIONE
Then how come it hasn’t been used already Harry? If what you’re saying is true someone other than Draco knows about it and how come they didn’t use it? Death Eaters would be swarming the school by now…

HARRY
But don’t you remember Hermione Draco has to fix something! I bet the cabinet in the room of requirement has to be fixed and once it’s done it’s a one way pass into Hogwarts right under all of our noses!

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry that’s not very likely…and besides you forget we have Dumbledore…no death eater in their right minds would dare come into the school as long as Dumbledore’s around…
Hmm, I like the idea! It cuts down on the DD and Draco convo on the tower, which is I think is good...

...but I'm a bit concerned this gives too much away! Film audiences are smart, and I feel if you provide them with this info, they'll piece it together the moment DD LEAVES Hogwarts with Harry and they won't be surprised by the Dark Mark over Hogwarts

Quote:
EXT. HAGRIDS HUT-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

A wide shot of Hogwarts and we see a giant dead spider in the distance. The scene then fades to Harry, Hagrid, Fang, and Slughorn walking towards Hagrid’s Hut.

HAGRID
I had him from an egg, yeh know. Thank ye for coming out tonight.

SLUGHORN
No problem Hagrid, it’s our pleasure.

We see him turn around and pull out the bottle full of poison.

SLUGHORN
It was my pleasure.

He chuckles and puts it back in his pocket.

HAGRID
Do you’ wan anything to drink?

SLUGHORN
Why…yes…

INT. HAGRID HUT-LATER THAT NIGHT

The scene cuts to Hagrid and Slughorn hitting mugs together sloppily. Its apparent they’ve been drinking for quite some time now.

HAGRID
I’d like to…make a toast..Harry Potter!

SLUGHORN
Yes, indeed! Parry Otter, the Chosen Boy Who…well…
(He starts to sing) And Odo the hero, they bore him back home. To the place that he’d known as a lad….

HAGRID
The good die young…me dad was no age ter go…nor were yer mum an’ dad Harry…terrible thing.

Hagrid then hiccups and falls to the ground asleep with a loud BOOM

SLUGHORN
Sorry, can’t carry a tune to save my life. Apparently put that poor bloke to sleep!

HARRY
Hagrid wasn’t talking about your singing; he was talking about my mum and dad dying.

SLUGHORN
Oh, terrible. I don’t suppose you remember it, Harry?

HARRY
No, I was only one when they died. My dad died first, did you know that?

SLUGHORN
I…I didn’t.

HARRY
Yeah, Voldemort murdered him and then stepped over his body towards my mum. He told her to get out of the way. He told her she needn’t have died, he only wanted me. She could have run.

SLUGHORN
Oh dear, that’s awful…

HARRY
It is, isn’t it! She didn’t move, dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with him…but he just laughed…

SLUGHORN
That’s enough! Really, my dear boy, I’m an old man…I don’t need to hear…

HARRY
I forgot, you liked her, didn’t you.

SLUGHORN
Liked her? I don’t imagine anyone who met her wouldn’t have liked her….

HARRY
But you won’t help her son. She gave me her life, but you won’t give me a memory.

Slughorn looks down at Harry and tears slowly form in his eyes.

SLUGHORN
Don’t say that…if it were to help you, of course…but no purpose can be served.

HARRY
It can. I am the Chosen One. I have to kill him. I need that memory.

SLUGHORN
You are the Chosen One?

HARRY
Of course I am.

SLUGHORN
You’re asking a great deal…to aid you in your attempt to destroy…

HARRY
You don’t want to get rid of the wizard who killed Lily Evans?

SLUGHORN
OF course I do Harry, but….

HARRY
You’re scared he’ll find out you helped me? Be brave like my mother, Professor.

SLUGHORN
I am not proud of what that memory shows…I think I may have done great damage that day.

HARRY
You’d cancel out anything you did by giving me that memory. It would be a very brave and noble thing to do.

Slughorn stares at Harry for a second and the camera zoom’s in on Harry’s eyes. Slughorn then pulls his wand out. He places the tip of his wand to his head and pulls out the long threads of the memory and places it into a bottle and corks it. He hands it to Harry.

HARRY
Thank you very much, Professor.

SLUGHORN
You’re a good boy, and you’ve got her eyes…just don’t think too badly of me once you’ve seen it.

He yawns and then lays back and falls asleep.
Ugh, I really disliked this scene in the Book, but I suppose it has to stay! I like how you didn't actually SHOW the Spider's Funeral
So, good job you took probably my least favorite part of this Book and made it "quick and dirty"

Quote:
INT. DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

Dumbledore stands looking at the Pensieve for a moment in silence. Harry watches in equal silence as Dumbledore turns and starts to walk towards his desk.

DUMBLEDORE
Do you understand the significance of what we just saw Harry? Tom Riddle was doing all he could to find out how to make himself immortal.

HARRY
And do you think he succeeded sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, Harry. As far as I know the most someone has split their souls were two. Four years ago I received something that gave me proof that he’d split his soul.

HARRY
What was it?

Dumbledore opens up the desk and pulls out the diary that Harry destroyed in year two and sits it on his desk.

HARRY
That’s Tom Riddle’s diary…wait…that was a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes, and now thanks to that memory we are closer to finishing off Lord Voldemort. Seven, yes, I think the idea of a seven part soul would greatly appeal to him.

He reaches into his desk again and pulls out the ring he was wearing earlier in the film and sits it on his desk aswell.

HARRY
That ring? You were wearing that when you picked me up from the Dursleys…wait…didn’t Voldemort have it on in that memory? Was it also a Horcrux?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes Harry. It belonged to his mother…it was terribly hard to find...but I did and destroyed it.

He holds up his now worse blackened hand for Harry to see. Harry stares at it for a moment and looks down at the ring.

HARRY
So if we destroy all the Horcruxes…

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort can be killed.

Harry looks down at the ring again and slowly reaches out to touch it and SWOOSH we see flashes of Nagini, Dumbledore putting the ring on his hand and his hand slowly decaying as he does, the locket around Tom Riddle’s neck, a small CUP falling out of a woman’s hand, Tom Riddle walking down the halls of Hogwarts holding a DIADEM with a smile on his face, and the diary and SWOOSH we see Harry pull his hand back quickly as a spark shoots from the ring. Harry holds his hand in pain and Dumbledore looks down at him with a quiet look of concern.

HARRY
What just happened sir?

DUMBLEDORE
It seemed like some sort of flesh memory but that’s impossible unless.……

His eyes widen as he stares at Harry and he walks around his desk towards them.

HARRY
Sir what’s wrong.

DUMBLEDORE
Magic always leaves traces Harry…sometimes it’s something so…small….

He places his hand on Harry’s chest and pulls it back quickly. Harry looks down at his chest curiously.

HARRY
Sir…I was just thinking…even if we destroy all the Horcruxes…Voldemort is still really powerful. I’m not nearly as powerful as him.

DUMBLEDORE
You have a power the dark lord knows not Harry…

HARRY
Love? Dumbledore how can love possibly help me defeat him?

DUMBLEDORE
Love, so strong a word, and I wish you would understand just how important it is that you have it Harry. I can only hope you realize it’s importance…because only that is the key to winning against him.

Dumbledore turns his back on Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
I think I may be close to finding another Horcrux and I may need someone to accompany me to get it. I just ask one favor; from now on always keep your invisibility cloak with you Harry. Never let it out of your sight.

Dumbledore turns around and looks at Harry with a weak smile. Harry nods as the screen slowly fades.

INT. HOGWARTS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

We see Harry walking slowly down the halls of Hogwarts. He takes a seat next to a window and looks out of it. He puts his hand on his chest and sighs.
ArryGrotter's right, this seems too familiar, hmm I wonder why!

BUT, I love how Kloves wrote it, so of course I have the same opinion of yours!

Quote:
INT. DARK CORRIDOR/BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT

Harry looks over his shoulder as he turns down the hall where he saw Draco’s position on the map. He pauses at the boy’s bathroom and hears crying on the inside. He slowly walks into it and we see Draco on his kneeling over the sink crying and whispering to himself.

DRACO
I can’t do this…it won’t work…he’s going to kill me…

He looks up and notices in the mirror in front of him Harry standing there. He quickly pulls out his wand and a spell flies off his wand hitting the wall beside Harry. Harry pulls out his wand and throws out a spell and Malfoy blocks it.

DRACO
I’ve had enough of your meddling Potter!

Malfoy throws another non verbal spell that Harry ducks and it explodes the toilet behind him. Harry throws a spell that Malfoy jumps out of the way of.

HARRY
So finish it then!

MALFOY
Crucio!

Harry ducks behind into a stall and narrowly avoids the curse.

HARRY
EXPELLIARMUS!

DRACO
PROTEGO!

The spell deflects back onto Harry knocking him off of his feet. Harry immediately jumps to his feet as Draco points his wand at him.

DRACO
Cruci…

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.
Ah, I can't wait to see this scene! DAMN IT Phrozenone, you cut it off HERE, you're Killing me, I wanna know if Draco Dies!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
This next section is TOTALLY different than I imagined it...having just finished writing I'm happy with it..but most may not be.
Yes, it was quite DIFFERENT, but I really enjoyed it! And I'm a bit of I purist, so that's quite an accomplishment!

I think the only part I really wasn't fond of was the Dream, and that's only because it seems chessy and redundant

As always, GREAT JOB!


P.S. I've looked over your DH scripts as well, like you requested... Shall I give feedback here or by owl?


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Last edited by lcbaseball22; June 5th, 2008 at 1:04 pm.
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  #185  
Old June 5th, 2008, 11:12 pm
Phrozenone's Avatar
Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Yay replies!! I should use threats more often


Quote:
Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
I'm bored, so I thought I'd reply...
Well since you're bored...

Quote:
OK, nice scene, but I don't like Ginny being compared to Cho...
I don't see it as a comparison really. I see it more as Harry replacing Cho with who he really wanted his first kiss to be really....since that's all he has..I'm sure a teenage boy could be a lot more creative with his fantasies but this is a PG-13 movie

Quote:
YAY!!! ELVES!!!
I did it for you elves fans

Quote:
I'm not sure if this scene is very cinematic
Try reading it in a more slapsticky kind of way. As you know I've NEVER had this in any of the previous scripts because I didn't think the RoR mattered so much in the end I imagine this scene with a little hokey music as Harry tries to get in but fails..so he kicks the wall in anger. Maybe not the most cinematic..but it gets the point across

Quote:
Not entirely sure if I'd want this effect...
Yeah I was thinking about that and what I really meant was....the whole color of the film will change you know? It'll be a lot more...bright...so u can tell Harry's using the potion. So in contrast with the rest of the movie it's obvious by this point that he's using a "drug"

Yay for sex, drugs, and rock n' roll

Quote:
This seems too familiar (), but I like that you add the love reference.
You know I liked so much what Kloves did to this scene I might have borrowed a few ideas It's still different though...I show more Horcruxes than in the script and like you said the love reference which I think is important.

Also from this point on is when EVERYTHING I had plan changed. Originally it was going to cut right to the Great Hall where we learn about the break ups...then I decided to have a scene where Harry is walking and reflecting then cut to the common room where he tells Hermione what happened so the audience can reflect on what just happened more...then Great Hall...then I just moved everything to the Common Room and had Ginny come in and had her be the kind of lead in for the Sectumsempra scene

Just wanted to share that to show how easy it is for plans to change while you're writing. I found it amusing...I took scenes spanning over a few days and put it in one

Quote:
Cliffhanger!!! Ooooh!!!

Good work
Channeling your inner Barty Crouch Sr. huh?

And thanks I'm glad you liked it

Quote:
Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 View Post
Oh no!!! Well, in that case I better reply to BOTH, the previous one AND the last one which I forgot about, Sorry!
Sounds good

Quote:
I really HOPE that line about Magical Education not being wasted is in the film, it's just too good not to be, right? I'm imagining Mr. Rickman saying this as I type

I noticed you left out Snape's actual explanation of the difference, which I suppose is best since Ghosts aren't the important part! But, you end up losing Ron's wisecrack, "Excuse me Sir, are you imprint of a dead soul?"
Yeah I hope that line is in too...this is the first draft I've put it in my script and I quite like it. Unfortunatly this scene had only enough room for one wisecrack so I had to give it to Snape

Quote:
I'm glad you kept the Appariton Lesson, I wonder if Kloves will do the same, hmm. I really think it's a good idea considering how much apparition is used from here on out, it needs to be explained! Though, it's a bit odd, because in the Films apparition appears to be "smoke flying" at times and "snapping your fingers" at others. Neither of which matches what's in the Book and what you have here!
Yeah I left it in because Harry uses it later in an important situation so why not? I don't know if you read it but originally I had a confrontation with Harry and Draco in this scene but it just wasn't needed in this draft unlike last time.

Yeah I think the apparation in the films depends on your level of magic you know? Originally u just snap and be gone then you move up to a slight wisp of smoke (Kind of like what Dobby did in CoS) then if need be you hit hardcore smoke travel

Quote:
Good idea! I like how Harry hears this first-hand rather than from, it was Hagrid, wasn't it?
Yeah it was Hagrid and I think it was ArryGrotter who told me in my last draft that the scene where Hagrid tells Harry what he heard was really random so I hope this is better.

Quote:
Yea, Luna's Commentary!!!

I really hope we get this in the film, it's completley unecessary, but it's so funny!
Yeah Quidditch was tough to write though...I see Jo's frustration and all I had to do was basically try and copy what she had. This is purely a Luna moment though and since she isn't inthe movie much I say why not!

Quote:
Um, I think I got a DOUBLE dose of DEJA VU!

Not only does this mirror the Cho Kiss, but didn't you have this SAME dream earlier?

Now I realize that Ron makes an entrance this time, but still... you're overdoing it a bit!
Yep same one minus the Ron...which is the point. The first was the show that Harry's feelings for Ginny.....second to show his concern about what Ron thinks about it. I actually like it..and don't worry it won't be another one

Quote:
As you can tell from our recent sig additions, Arry and I would be VERY pleased if this makes it into the film!

It's simply the perfect scene to contrast the differences between the Elves and to highlight Dobby's devotion for Harry!
Yeah yeah...next time I may not be so nice with the elves

Quote:
Yea, it's DOBBY again! It's different than in the Book, but there is no need for Kreacher in the "report" scene and it continues to re-establish the devotion Dobby has for Harry. I like the "Wow you work fast" line, it reminds me of "Dobby hasn't slept for a week sir"
Yeah I always thought it'll make sense for Dobby to be the one to report back...plus the scene in the book is soooo long with both of them and the only important bit is the RoR so Kreacher had to get the boot

Quote:
Ugh, I really disliked this scene in the Book, but I suppose it has to stay! I like how you didn't actually SHOW the Spider's Funeral
So, good job you took probably my least favorite part of this Book and made it "quick and dirty"
I would NEVER show that funeral The only importance is the memory. Glad I made ur least fav part a bit better.

I'm gonna be laughing the whole time in HBP during this scene just imagining the look of disgust on your face while watching it

Quote:
ArryGrotter's right, this seems too familiar, hmm I wonder why!

BUT, I love how Kloves wrote it, so of course I have the same opinion of yours!
Honestly u guys have NO idea how much time doing it that way saves. I was rewritting and noticed I had almost another page of dialogue explaining everything!

Notice Kloves doesn't have Tom and the Diadem in his script thought.....I'm thinking that little bit will be what Harry thinks back to in DH to convince Ron and Hermione to go back...that's why I put it there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 View Post

Ah, I can't wait to see this scene! DAMN IT Phrozenone, you cut it off HERE, you're Killing me, I wanna know if Draco Dies!



Yes, it was quite DIFFERENT, but I really enjoyed it! And I'm a bit of I purist, so that's quite an accomplishment!

I think the only part I really wasn't fond of was the Dream, and that's only because it seems chessy and redundant

As always, GREAT JOB!


P.S. I've looked over your DH scripts as well, like you requested... Shall I give feedback here or by owl?
Well you'll have to wait to see what happens to Draco

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I know the dream is cheesy..that's the point! Every Potter film needs cheese..and this is my cheese

Thanks so much for the input though...I'll try and get the next section up ASAP...I can't believe I'm almost done! This is by far my favorite draft.

Oh yeah and feel free to post your feedback on DH here in the thread that's fine! Thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 View Post
Hmm, I like the idea! It cuts down on the DD and Draco convo on the tower, which is I think is good...

...but I'm a bit concerned this gives too much away! Film audiences are smart, and I feel if you provide them with this info, they'll piece it together the moment DD LEAVES Hogwarts with Harry and they won't be surprised by the Dark Mark over Hogwarts
Ah can't believe I forgot this section....

Here's the thing about the whole cabinet thing (Which is why I'm focusing on it so much in this draft than others) You simply don't see it at all in the book and in all my other scripts you had Draco tell Dumbledore but there's just no point of reference...people would be saying 'Wait...what?' so I'm going the route of 'Harry is insanly accurate in his guess but try to shoot it down using Hermione'

Thus far we've seen the cabinet...now we find out what it does...and we'll of course see it later. I don't think the big secret is Draco letting the DE's in..it's him killing Dumbledore...so I think using the whole Vanishing Cabinet plot throws off the obtion of Draco actually killing someone you know?

He'll say it on the tower...we'll know Harry's been right all along...boo Hermione! Seeing as we haven't seen Vanishing Cabinets in the films b4 (or never again) I'll focus on it as much as I can...so the audience can actually understand what Draco's talking about in the end.

I hope that makes sense


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  #186  
Old June 6th, 2008, 12:05 am
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Montse  Female.gif Montse is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 View Post
INT. THE ROOM OF REQURIEMENT-NIGHT

The scene fades to Ginny standing in front of a mirror and Harry walking up behind her. She turns around and smiles at him.

GINNY
You’re a good teacher Harry.

HARRY
Ginny?

She looks up above them and a mistletoe is forming.

GINNY
Mistletoe

HARRY
Probably full of nargles….

GINNY
What are nargles?

HARRY
No idea…

He goes in to kiss her and there is a SLAM and both Harry and Ginny look over to see an angry Ron standing in the room

I think I had read this bit and had said already I did not think it would work,I know its a dream ,but too repetitive!!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 View Post
HARRY
Well….er…ghosts are transparent….

SNAPE
Oh, very good. Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.

Most of the class begins to laugh and Snape does a slight smirk before turning away from Harry.

I am sooooo hoping they include this bit!!!I would be so pleased.plus it helps develop the infieri so I really hope they do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lcbaseball22 View Post
HARRY
Do you think there could be a vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement?

HERMIONE
Harry I know what you’re going to say….

HARRY
It makes sense Hermione. If there’s a cabinet in the room and it’s connected to the one in Borgin and Burke’s….

HERMIONE
Then how come it hasn’t been used already Harry? If what you’re saying is true someone other than Draco knows about it and how come they didn’t use it? Death Eaters would be swarming the school by now…

HARRY
But don’t you remember Hermione Draco has to fix something! I bet the cabinet in the room of requirement has to be fixed and once it’s done it’s a one way pass into Hogwarts right under all of our noses!

HERMIONE
Honestly Harry that’s not very likely…and besides you forget we have Dumbledore…no death eater in their right minds would dare come into the school as long as Dumbledore’s around…
I dont know,about this bit either,while it would save explenations on how the deatheaters came in,I dont think Harry should figure it out.It was a good plan from Malfoys side,no one ,not even DD suspected it ,so I dont think anyone should figure it out.

But ,I bet it could work.

Nice work,I am sorry it takes so long for me to post.


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  #187  
Old June 6th, 2008, 12:57 am
lcbaseball22  Male.gif lcbaseball22 is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
I don't see it as a comparison really. I see it more as Harry replacing Cho with who he really wanted his first kiss to be really....since that's all he has..I'm sure a teenage boy could be a lot more creative with his fantasies but this is a PG-13 movie

Yep same one minus the Ron...which is the point. The first was the show that Harry's feelings for Ginny.....second to show his concern about what Ron thinks about it. I actually like it..and don't worry it won't be another one
Yeah, I see you're trying to figure out ways to throw this part in:
HBP, Chapter 15: The Unbreakable Vow

“There isn’t anyone I want to invite,” mumbled Harry, who was still not trying to think about Ginny any more than he could help, despite the fact the fact that she kept cropping up in his dreams in ways that made him devoutly thankful that Ron could not perform Legilimency.


...and it's not really "specific" there's only that 1 scene earlier where Harry imagines it's HIM kissing Ginny behind the tapestry instead of Dean, and Ron enters furiously...

That line about being "devoutly thankful that Ron could not perform Legilimency" makes me think his dreams are a little more, um "sexual" but you're right this is a PG-13 movie (far as we know) so I suppose this works!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
I did it for you elves fans

Yeah yeah...next time I may not be so nice with the elves
Are you saying YOU don't like the Elves? But Dobby's so cute and innocent... Kreacher, well at least he redeems himself

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
Try reading it in a more slapsticky kind of way. As you know I've NEVER had this in any of the previous scripts because I didn't think the RoR mattered so much in the end I imagine this scene with a little hokey music as Harry tries to get in but fails..so he kicks the wall in anger. Maybe not the most cinematic..but it gets the point across
Yeah, that could be kinda funny, it would mirror the scenes with Filch (which I thought were retarded though) in OotP...

Quote:
Yeah I was thinking about that and what I really meant was....the whole color of the film will change you know? It'll be a lot more...bright...so u can tell Harry's using the potion. So in contrast with the rest of the movie it's obvious by this point that he's using a "drug"

Yay for sex, drugs, and rock n' roll
Oh, I get it now! Yep, that would be a cool idea, I thought at first when you said "hazy" it would appear that he was drunk or drugged, which doesn't make much sense! It is a "drug" yet the effect would be the opposite I think, it wouldn't impair him!

Quote:
Yeah I always thought it'll make sense for Dobby to be the one to report back...plus the scene in the book is soooo long with both of them and the only important bit is the RoR so Kreacher had to get the boot
Yep, it is a LONG scene isn't it, good job of cutting it down to bare essentials!

Quote:
I'm gonna be laughing the whole time in HBP during this scene just imagining the look of disgust on your face while watching it
Um yeah, I'm still praying that Kloves figures out something creative for this

Quote:
Honestly u guys have NO idea how much time doing it that way saves. I was rewritting and noticed I had almost another page of dialogue explaining everything!

Notice Kloves doesn't have Tom and the Diadem in his script thought.....I'm thinking that little bit will be what Harry thinks back to in DH to convince Ron and Hermione to go back...that's why I put it there.
Yeah, this Chapter has a LOT of Dialogue (and ARGUING), much like the "Lost Prophecy" chapter in OotP, and we know how much Goldenberg cut THAT down! But I'm really happy with what Kloves appears to have done with this scene!

Yeah, I noticed you threw in the Diadem and the love bit as well, I think that's a good idea too Do you think Kloves will keep the scene in the RoR with the DIADEM when he hides the Book? Maybe one of those oh so obvious closeups of it, which let you KNOW this item is important, yet we don't find out until DH? I think he needs SOMETHING to refer or flashback to, and after all this is how Jo handled it in the Book...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post

Here's the thing about the whole cabinet thing (Which is why I'm focusing on it so much in this draft than others) You simply don't see it at all in the book and in all my other scripts you had Draco tell Dumbledore but there's just no point of reference...people would be saying 'Wait...what?' so I'm going the route of 'Harry is insanly accurate in his guess but try to shoot it down using Hermione'

Thus far we've seen the cabinet...now we find out what it does...and we'll of course see it later. I don't think the big secret is Draco letting the DE's in..it's him killing Dumbledore...so I think using the whole Vanishing Cabinet plot throws off the obtion of Draco actually killing someone you know?

He'll say it on the tower...we'll know Harry's been right all along...boo Hermione! Seeing as we haven't seen Vanishing Cabinets in the films b4 (or never again) I'll focus on it as much as I can...so the audience can actually understand what Draco's talking about in the end.

I hope that makes sense
Yeah, that makes sense, I understand your aim!

Ok, here's my suggestion, just include the part that explains WHAT it DOES:

Quote:
HARRY
Wait a moment….what does the Room of Requirement have to do with that Vanishing Cabinet? Hermione….what exactly is a Vanishing Cabinet used for?

HERMIONE
Plenty of things…the most common thing is it acts as a sort of a gateway between two points.

HARRY
What do you mean?

HERMIONE
Well one can travel from one point to another almost instantly with a vanishing cabinet…it’s like a simple form of apparition.
After all, I believe in OotP we received an explanation from (Fred and George?) when they shoved Montague in there, which was missing from the film, so it's good to EXPLAIN it's USE!

But, I think the rest of it gives too much away, you ending up losing the shock, though I suppose there might be enough Shock in Snape killing DD, but still...

I'd like for the audience to continue believing Hogwarts is safe until they see the Dark Mark!

Then again, that shock may end up being ruined by the trailers anyway...


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  #188  
Old June 7th, 2008, 1:17 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Alright well I have some sad news everyone.

I am now currently at the final act of this version of my HBP script...HOWEVER...my page count is currently 160. If you all know the longest Harry Potter film Chamber of Secrets is 161...so I'm currently at that length BEFORE the third act which is a no no

As you all know there is a certain length that scripts are to be considered acceptable. Anything over about 130 is considered to long. We all know a few films are longer than that and have been successful but there are more failures than not and for a HP film my HBP is just too long. And seeing as I'm trying to do an realistic time limit it means I'm at the point where some sideplots have to be cut.

So I just wanted to announce that Trelawney is officially cut from my HBP script. I know I know what about the big reveal about Snape....that would just have to be a side note that won't play out this time. It can very well be used in DH with the same effect. It's just with so much going on in HBP alot of the nice little side things that fans love won't make it but u guys know I tried.

Just wanted to say that so when the next section is posted and there's no Trelawney no questions will be asked. I'll leave what I have..just no that in my script all those bits with Trelawney will be gone. Also the whole 'Eileen Prince' bit won't make it. Once again good to know but not necessary. We'll find out Snape is the HBP but the orgin of the name simply isn't important I'm sorry to say. The important part is that it's Snape and I'm gonna leave it at that.

I just wanted to show that even with me cutting out the Gaunts...Dursley's...Hepedzah Smith...Morfin and Tom's memory...Harrys' detentions...and alot of other interesting bits my script is still TOO LONG! I did this to get a view into why the filmakers cut certain things and I'm starting to see why. Even with all the cuts and changes I've made my script is still to long to be acceptable (Especially when I still have a good 20+ mins to go until it's done)

I'm not even sure how the actual funeral will work in now but we'll get to that later. I just wanted to say I see now why Trelawney and co were cut. As interesting as those bits are...I have to move them for more important things. The next section I post you'll also see a BIG change which I did not only for time reasons...but I just thought it worked best cinematically. You'll see what I mean.

So there's that...I know some of you won't mourn the absence of Trelawney but as we all know sacrifices must be made. After I do that and there's STILL not enough time then other things will be trimmed..but for now that is all.

Also Icbaseball I COMPLETELY agree with you on the whole Vanishing Cabinet bit and that change has been made. It's just simply to much info to early...after reading over it again I see your point (This is why i love feedback ) Hermione's explanation will be enough to get the audience thinking that's for sure so thanks for that!


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  #189  
Old June 7th, 2008, 2:36 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
Alright well I have some sad news everyone.

I am now currently at the final act of this version of my HBP script...HOWEVER...my page count is currently 160. If you all know the longest Harry Potter film Chamber of Secrets is 161...so I'm currently at that length BEFORE the third act which is a no no

As you all know there is a certain length that scripts are to be considered acceptable. Anything over about 130 is considered to long. We all know a few films are longer than that and have been successful but there are more failures than not and for a HP film my HBP is just too long. And seeing as I'm trying to do an realistic time limit it means I'm at the point where some sideplots have to be cut.

So I just wanted to announce that Trelawney is officially cut from my HBP script. I know I know what about the big reveal about Snape....that would just have to be a side note that won't play out this time. It can very well be used in DH with the same effect. It's just with so much going on in HBP alot of the nice little side things that fans love won't make it but u guys know I tried.

Just wanted to say that so when the next section is posted and there's no Trelawney no questions will be asked. I'll leave what I have..just no that in my script all those bits with Trelawney will be gone. Also the whole 'Eileen Prince' bit won't make it. Once again good to know but not necessary. We'll find out Snape is the HBP but the orgin of the name simply isn't important I'm sorry to say. The important part is that it's Snape and I'm gonna leave it at that.

I just wanted to show that even with me cutting out the Gaunts...Dursley's...Hepedzah Smith...Morfin and Tom's memory...Harrys' detentions...and alot of other interesting bits my script is still TOO LONG! I did this to get a view into why the filmakers cut certain things and I'm starting to see why. Even with all the cuts and changes I've made my script is still to long to be acceptable (Especially when I still have a good 20+ mins to go until it's done)

I'm not even sure how the actual funeral will work in now but we'll get to that later. I just wanted to say I see now why Trelawney and co were cut. As interesting as those bits are...I have to move them for more important things. The next section I post you'll also see a BIG change which I did not only for time reasons...but I just thought it worked best cinematically. You'll see what I mean.

So there's that...I know some of you won't mourn the absence of Trelawney but as we all know sacrifices must be made. After I do that and there's STILL not enough time then other things will be trimmed..but for now that is all.

Also Icbaseball I COMPLETELY agree with you on the whole Vanishing Cabinet bit and that change has been made. It's just simply to much info to early...after reading over it again I see your point (This is why i love feedback ) Hermione's explanation will be enough to get the audience thinking that's for sure so thanks for that!
I know the difficulty's of length. My script's sitting at 70 and I'm at flying lessons (chapter 9 of 17). Mine would come out at 200 if I keep going the same way.

I am actually quite surprised it's 160 BEFORE the cave (I'm guessing that's where you're at) and you've been cutting for Africa!!! Hmm... I'm probably not the best to help you!


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  #190  
Old June 20th, 2008, 8:24 pm
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Well, I'm working on a HBP script of my own. I'm currently on page 82 and am on the memory that takes place in DD's office and is between Tom Riddle and DD.

If I wanted to post what I've written so far on here, how would I do that?


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  #191  
Old June 20th, 2008, 11:32 pm
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by la_z_boy View Post
Well, I'm working on a HBP script of my own. I'm currently on page 82 and am on the memory that takes place in DD's office and is between Tom Riddle and DD.

If I wanted to post what I've written so far on here, how would I do that?
Just copy and paste it. Don't worry about the formatting, cos I know that it'll comeout differently.

You might want to put expand tags

[expand=*Put a label here that will always be seen*]*Put the script here, it'll only be seen when the expand button is pressed*[/expand]


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  #192  
Old June 26th, 2008, 4:43 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Hello All!!!

Just wanted to stop in and say that I have FINISHED my 4th draft of HBP

As u all have read about I was running long but I'm proud to say that I have cut it down to 158 which I think is a decent time to tell the HBP story...BUT alot of things that have been posted didn't make the final cut. I'll be posting the next bit once I read through it again but I just wanted to tell u all what more I had to cut to get it down.

The whole Cho bit is gone..liked it..but oh well

Tonks and Lupins relationship troubles....gone. I had to do it. Good subplot...certainly not that well developed in the books...but combined those scenes took up SO much time that i could use other things with. Soooooo I took another cue from the actual movie and have Tonks and Lupin just be together during Christmas. It works I think and I will be posting the new bits as soon as I can. I did however keep Tonks picking Harry up and the hint of her troubles by looking at the moon. I guess u can say that everything still kinda of happens the same but we just don't see it (and it's MUCH earlier )

The problem with this however is NOTHING happens during Christmas time now. Without Scrimgeour or Tonks/Lupin the scene just doesn't do much...I mean i guess I could put a battle scene there....wait.....

My RoR dream sequeces had to go aswell. Alas I liked them (although it seemed alot of you didn't ) but they too had to be placed on the cutting room floor.

Neville's scene with McGonnagal also was cut and I kind of figured it would be when I wrote it but I put it there just in case. It's rare in the films where another character has a scene that Harry isn't in and once again doing film adaptations you loose alot of those wonderful character moments.

Now of course you all haven't seen anything post Sectumsempra and I'm kind of afraid to post it because of the changes I made I think this is really where I put my adaptation mind to work. I'm trying to decide if I should tell you now what I've changed to prepare you or just let you read it and yell at the screen urselfs...hmmmmm

All in all though I'm happy with it. I'm happy that i pulled it off and that I stayed faithful enough to the text yet have changed things around yet kept the 'feeling' which is important (Then again that's just my opinion) Since I've had you all waiting this long however I'll post a bit of the next portion..it's just a teaser..but it'll give u a sense of the liberties I took and be warned u all may not like it But of course I'd LOVE too hear feedback and I'll post more later. Also I'm trying to decide if I should tackle doing a 2 move DH script (BTW IC I still haven't heard ur critique on it yet ) So here's a little snippit of the next section of my HBP script:

Quote:
HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA!

A spell flies out of Harry’s wand that seems to do a few multiple stabs on Draco’s chest as blood shoots out of it and hits Harry in the face. He sends out a gasp and falls quickly to the ground. His breathing is heavy as blood continues to poor out of him.

HARRY
Draco…no…HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!

The door flies open and Snape runs in. He looks at Harry and then quickly at Draco’s bloody body on the floor. He runs and kneels down to Malfoy. He pulls out his wand and starts to mutter an incantation under his breathe. The blood flow begins to stop and we see the wounds knitting themselves. He helps Malfoy up, who is slouching in pain still.

SNAPE
You need the hospital wing.

Malfoy puts his arm around Snapes neck and they begin to walk out of the bathroom.

SNAPE
And you Potter…you wait here for me.

They walk out of the door and the scene cuts to Harry staring at the mirror in the bathroom with a look of shock still in his eyes. Snape walks into the bathroom and Harry turns to face him. Snape stares at him for a moment in silence.

HARRY
I…I didn’t mean it to happen, I didn’t know what that spell did.

SNAPE
Apparently I underestimated you, Potter. Who would have thought you knew such Dark Magic? Who taught you that spell?

HARRY
I…read it somewhere.

SNAPE
Where?

HARRY
It was a library book, I can’t remember what it was called.

Snape looks into Harry’s eyes and Harry quickly looks away.


SNAPE
Bring me your schoolbag and all of your schoolbooks. All of them. Bring them to me now!

Harry stares at Snape for a moment and then walks past him and exits the bathroom. Snape continues to watch him as he leaves.

INT. COMMON ROOM-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Ron, Ginny, and Hermione still sitting around the fireplace. They look up as Harry still covered in Draco’s blood walks slowly in. Hermione gasps as Ron and Ginny jump up.

RON
Blimey Harry what happened?

HERMIONE
Harry is that blood?

HARRY
I…I need your book Ron…..

RON
Wha?

HARRY
I need your Potions book. Quick….give it to me….

RON
But what about the Half-Blood….

HARRY
I’ll explain later Ron..just…please!

Ron nods and runs up to the dorms as Harry sits down and places his head in his hands.

HERMIONE
Harry what happened? Are you hurt?

HARRY
No…Malfoy….the Prince….I need to hide my Potions book.

HERMIONE
But why….?


Ron comes back down and hands Harry his book. Harry takes it and stuffs it in his schoolbag and takes out his potions book. He stares at it for a moment as Ron, Hermione, and Ginny look on in silence. He turns around and looks at them.

HARRY
Any ideas on where I can hide this thing?

The three of them look at each other.

GINNY
I think I may know a place.

INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry and Ginny walking down the seventh floor hallway in silence. They stopped in front of where the Room of Requirement is.

HARRY
The Room of Requirement?

GINNY
We need a place to hide Harry’s book….

A door slowly starts to form before their eyes and once it does it opens before them. Harry and Ginny look at each other and Harry walks into the room and Ginny follows.

INT. ROOM OF REQUIREMENT-MOMENTS LATER

They pause at the sight in front of them. The room is full of things obviously hidden by past Hogwarts students. There are rows of books, damaged furniture, and various magical objects. Harry grabs Ginny’s hand and they begin to run through the room looking for a place to hide the book. Harry pauses at a large cupboard and opens it. Meanwhile Ginny continues to walk ahead of Harry and looks around the corner where she see’s a VANISHING CABINET sitting there.

HARRY
I think I’ll hide it here. Ginny do you see anything I can put on this cupboard so I can find it when I get back?

Ginny looks around and notices a TIARA sitting on top of one of the books and grabs it and walks towards Harry. Harry closes the cupboard and Ginny hands him the tiara. He quickly takes it and places it on top of the head of a bust of an old wizard.

HARRY
That way I will be able to find it.

Harry looks down at Ginny and smiles.

HARRY
Thanks so much for your help Ginny…I don’t know how much trouble I’m in but….

Ginny places a finger over Harry’s mouth. They both look into each other eyes quietly and then they slowly move into each other and begin to kiss. Ginny then backs away slowly.

GINNY
You should hurry. I’ll see you when you get back.

They stare at each other for another moment and Ginny turns and walks slowly away from Harry. He watches for a moment and the scene fades to…
Ok and that's all you're getting I'll post the rest later but yes I changed the kiss and it took me some time to decide upon this.I think it kind of works this way for the film atleast...and I knew that with the time limits I just didn't have time to do the whole detention..quidditch..common room bit...BUT I do have a sort of hint of it in the script but you'll have to wait to see it. Anywho until next time everyone!


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Last edited by Phrozenone; June 26th, 2008 at 4:47 am.
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  #193  
Old June 26th, 2008, 5:07 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Hey , not fair. Well, I like what I read here. Ilike the Harry Ginny part.Great Job on pointing out the tiara, we need that .

It looks great!!

YOu will post the kiss, I want to see how you would make it, having read from your description above , you changed it a bit.


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  #194  
Old June 26th, 2008, 5:56 am
iamwood  Male.gif iamwood is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Phrozenone, I don't think I've ever commented your HBP scripts before, but let me just say that you are brilliant, my friend!

Kudos for adding the tiara into the mix there

And I notice your staying pretty close to Master's HBP update list, with what we do actually know about the screenplay of HBP. I also like that you add your own dynamics in there though.

So do you have that H/G kiss as their first kiss, or was there one previously?

Also, I am baffled at how you have the time so narrowly figured. How do you do it, mate? 158 mins??


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  #195  
Old June 26th, 2008, 11:41 am
Riochet  Male.gif Riochet is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

I've been reading some of the scripts and I have to say - some really brilliant work going on here! I'll comment on each one individually in my next post. You guys inspired me to write a screenplay for Deathly Hallows. So far, I only have Scene/Chapter One: The Dark Lord Ascending. It's in Spoiler tags because I can't remember how to put it in the purple box (I can't even remember what it's called ).

Could you guys let me know what you think? Thanks.

Spoiler: show
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS:
THE SILVER DOE



By Harrison Sargeant



Based on the book by
J.K. Rowling





The audience hears the ticking of a grandfather clock, faintly in the background. It continues ticking as:


FADE IN:

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (BIRDS-EYE VIEW) - LATE NIGHT

From the pupil of Charity Burbage's eye, the camera pans out and we see a birds-eye view of Malfoy Manor. Burbage's rotating body blocks most of our view of those seated at the table, but we can make out DRACO MALFOY glaring up at the body nervously.

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM AROUND THE TABLE - LATE NIGHT

Cut to DRACO MALFOY'S nervous staring. LUCIUS MALFOY subtly nudges DRACO with his cane. DRACO slowly looks down as the ticking of the grandfather clock (behind) seems to get louder, louder, until it is eventually cut short by...

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (DOOR) - LATE NIGHT

SEVERUS SNAPE enters the MEETING ROOM, expressionless and staring straight ahead.

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM - LATE NIGHT


LORD VOLDEMORT
News?


SEVERUS SNAPE
The best.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (HEAD OF THE TABLE) - LATE NIGHT

VOLDEMORT smiles slightly, before indicating to the seat on his right. SNAPE takes the seat quickly. VOLDEMORT nods for him to continue.


SEVERUS SNAPE
The Order Of The Phoenix plan to move Harry Potter from Little Whinging at nightfall on this coming Saturday.

VOLDEMORT hesitates for a second, staring into SNAPE's eyes. Slowly, an evil grin spreads across his face.

LORD VOLDEMORT
Good. Very Good. Where will they take him?


SEVERUS SNAPE
The home of one of the Order. However, it has been given every protection both the Order and the Ministry Of Magic can provide. Unless the Ministry has fallen by next Saturday, there will be little chance of reaching Potter once he is there.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (A FEW SEATS DOWN) - LATE NIGHT


HOODED DEATH EATER (nervously)
On that front my lord, we have progress. With great difficulty, I have manged to put Pius Thicknesse under the Confundus Charm. Using him, others will follow. It will not be long until the Minister is surrounded.


LORD VOLDEMORT
Let us hope so. One failed attempt on the Ministers life will set back my plans by a long way. I shall attend to the boy myself, there have been too many careless mistakes in the pa-


VOLDEMORT is interrupted by a drawn out moan.


LORD VOLDEMORT
Wormtail! I thought I asked you to keep our prisoner under control!


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (OPPOSITTE END OF THE TABLE)

We see Wormtail stutter, then nod weakly. He stands, and leaves the table hurriedly.

INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (HEAD OF TABLE) - LATE NIGHT


LORD VOLDEMORT
As I was saying. I shall attend to the boy myself, there have been too many mistakes in the past.


VOLDEMORT glances at LUCIOUS MALFOY, mocking him.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM AROUND THE TABLE - LATE NIGHT

LUCIOUS avoids VOLDEMORTS eyes, staring straight down. As the following is said, the camera slowly pans up and around Charity Burbages body, until we again see a birds-eye view from just above her.


LORD VOLDEMORT
What troubles you Lucius? I have given you your liberty, and yet you and your family seem less and less happy at my presence here in your home. Does my presence discomfort you, Lucius?


LUCIUS MALFOY
My Lord, nothing - nothing could give me more pleasure.


LORD VOLDEMORT
Such Lies, Lucius!


The dialogue is cut short by a short scream from Charity Burbage, as her eyes widen slightly.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (HEAD OF TABLE) - LATE NIGHT


LORD VOLDEMORT
Ah yes, I almost forgot about our guest. Everyone, this is Charity Burbage. Until very recently, Charity poisoned the minds of Hogwarts students with Muggle studies. This will no longer happen, let me promise you all.


INT. MALFOY MANOR MEETING ROOM (BIRDS-EYE VIEW) - LATE NIGHT

Tears fill CHARITY's eyes, and suddenly widen in shock.


LORD VOLDEMORT (O/S) coldly
Avada Kedavra.


A green flash of light borders CHARITY's body. Nothing appears to have happened for a second, until her body quickly falls to the table, crashing loudly.


LORD VOLDEMORT (O/S)
Dinner, Nagini.



As the snake (Nagini) slithers from Voldemort's shoulders on to the table, the camera pans up into darkness. A very dark version of 'Hedwigs Theme' plays.


EXT. DARK, CLOUDY NIGHT.

As the camera passes through the smoke, we see the 'Warner Bros. logo', followed by the titles overlay. Eventually, a blinding flash of light fills the screen.

















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  #196  
Old June 26th, 2008, 6:38 pm
iamwood  Male.gif iamwood is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Very cool Riochet!

It has a very quick entrance, but hey DH needs many, simple, quick, but vital scenes right?

I'm doing a DH screenplay too!


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  #197  
Old June 26th, 2008, 6:56 pm
Riochet  Male.gif Riochet is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by iamwood View Post
Very cool Riochet!

It has a very quick entrance, but hey DH needs many, simple, quick, but vital scenes right?

I'm doing a DH screenplay too!
Thanks
Yeah, I thought it important to focus on the pure excitement in this scene - since it's supposed to be very dark and show you the danger of things. I'm going to bring the pace down a bit with the next two chapters, thanks for letting me know what you think!

I'll be sure to read your DH screen play!


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  #198  
Old June 28th, 2008, 12:46 pm
Bl00dyChAoS16  Male.gif Bl00dyChAoS16 is offline
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

I wish in OotP, there was the frames with the restrictions saying "Quittage is not permitted" and had Umbrige announce it, while Harry and the team were going to the pitch, and had them look upset.

Spoiler: show
Harry: I hope the weather is well.
Ron: Yea, me too, I can't wait to learn how to fly a broom! Harry, we'll have so much fun!
ENTER INTO GREAT HALL GOURTYARD.
Umbrige (loud speaker): Quittage is banned from Hogwarts Grounds. Anyone caught flying a broom will get there broom taken anyay.
Ron: No not that-
UMBRIDGE COMES THROUGH GREAT HALL DOORS.
Umbridge: Ah, what have we hear?
Ron: We just heard the announcement.
Umbridge: *LAUGH* Well, then. Brooms. HOLDS OUT HAND
Harry: You said "Anyone CAUGHT FLYING"!
Umbridge: I know what I said, and rules can change Mr. Potter. You don't want more dentions now, do you?
Harry: No.
Ron: You-
Umbridge: Yes?
Ron-...better take my broom too.... *LOOKS GLUM*
UMBRIGES CASTS A SPELL AND BROOMS GO FLYING INTO HER OFFICE. UMBRIDGE WALKS AWAY.
Ron: I hate her!
Team Captain: I guess there is no quittage this year, Harry, Ron, Team. And this was my last year....
Harry: Yea. Well, see you around. Ron, common.

Then they cut to the scene where Hermione and Ron and Harry are planning to rebell in the Common Room.



Last edited by Bl00dyChAoS16; June 28th, 2008 at 12:49 pm.
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  #199  
Old June 29th, 2008, 9:05 am
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Quote:
Originally Posted by iamwood View Post
Phrozenone, I don't think I've ever commented your HBP scripts before, but let me just say that you are brilliant, my friend!

Kudos for adding the tiara into the mix there

And I notice your staying pretty close to Master's HBP update list, with what we do actually know about the screenplay of HBP. I also like that you add your own dynamics in there though.

So do you have that H/G kiss as their first kiss, or was there one previously?

Also, I am baffled at how you have the time so narrowly figured. How do you do it, mate? 158 mins??
Awww thanks!

And u get the number of minuets by pages. In the movie world 1 page = 1 min...so I've been really trying to stay under 180 pages.

And no that's their first kiss...which is alot different from the book true and I would've kept it the same but I'm at the point of the story where it's time to wrap things up but you'll see what i mean. I'm glad to see others are reading them though!

The whole point of me doing this was to try and guess how they would do it in the actual film according to the little info we have so far. As you know (or have seen) there's this bit of Harry and Ginny in the RoR and we have soooo many theories on what it could be...so I just made it into something

The only thing I haven't done is the Burrow attack yet..maybe next time huh

So instead of making you all wait as long as I'd planned (I'm not gonna be as harsh as WB is being) I'll post the next section of the script. I COULD post the rest of it but that wouldn't be fun :P As always let me know what you think and thanks so much for reading!

Quote:
HARRY
Draco…no…HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!

The door flies open and Snape runs in. He looks at Harry and then quickly at Draco’s bloody body on the floor. He runs and kneels down to Malfoy. He pulls out his wand and starts to mutter an incantation under his breathe. The blood flow begins to stop and we see the wounds knitting themselves. He helps Malfoy up, who is slouching in pain still.

SNAPE
You need the hospital wing.

Malfoy puts his arm around Snapes neck and they begin to walk out of the bathroom.

SNAPE
And you Potter…you wait here for me.

They walk out of the door and the scene cuts to Harry staring at the mirror in the bathroom with a look of shock still in his eyes. Snape walks into the bathroom and Harry turns to face him. Snape stares at him for a moment in silence.

HARRY
I…I didn’t mean it to happen, I didn’t know what that spell did.

SNAPE
Apparently I underestimated you, Potter. Who would have thought you knew such Dark Magic? Who taught you that spell?

HARRY
I…read it somewhere.

SNAPE
Where?

HARRY
It was a library book, I can’t remember what it was called.

Snape looks into Harry’s eyes and Harry quickly looks away.

SNAPE
Bring me your schoolbag and all of your schoolbooks. All of them. Bring them to me now!

Harry stares at Snape for a moment and then walks past him and exits the bathroom. Snape continues to watch him as he leaves.

INT. COMMON ROOM-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Ron, Ginny, and Hermione still sitting around the fireplace. They look up as Harry still covered in Draco’s blood walks slowly in. Hermione gasps as Ron and Ginny jump up.

RON
Blimey Harry what happened?

HERMIONE
Harry is that blood?

HARRY
I…I need your book Ron…..

RON
Wha?

HARRY
I need your Potions book. Quick….give it to me….

RON
But what about the Half-Blood….

HARRY
I’ll explain later Ron..just…please!

Ron nods and runs up to the dorms as Harry sits down and places his head in his hands.

HERMIONE
Harry what happened? Are you hurt?

HARRY
No…Malfoy….the Prince….I need to hide my Potions book.

HERMIONE
But why….?


Ron comes back down and hands Harry his book. Harry takes it and stuffs it in his schoolbag and takes out his potions book. He stares at it for a moment as Ron, Hermione, and Ginny look on in silence. He turns around and looks at them.

HARRY
Any ideas on where I can hide this thing?

The three of them look at each other.

GINNY
I think I may know a place.

INT. SEVENTH FLOOR-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry and Ginny walking down the seventh floor hallway in silence. They stopped in front of where the Room of Requirement is.

HARRY
The Room of Requirement?

GINNY
We need a place to hide Harry’s book….

A door slowly starts to form before their eyes and once it does it opens before them. Harry and Ginny look at each other and Harry walks into the room and Ginny follows.

INT. ROOM OF REQUIREMENT-MOMENTS LATER

They pause at the sight in front of them. The room is full of things obviously hidden by past Hogwarts students. There are rows of books, damaged furniture, and various magical objects. Harry grabs Ginny’s hand and they begin to run through the room looking for a place to hide the book. Harry pauses at a large cupboard and opens it. Meanwhile Ginny continues to walk ahead of Harry and looks around the corner where she see’s a VANISHING CABINET sitting there.

HARRY
I think I’ll hide it here. Ginny do you see anything I can put on this cupboard so I can find it when I get back?

Ginny looks around and notices a TIARA sitting on top of one of the books and grabs it and walks towards Harry. Harry closes the cupboard and Ginny hands him the tiara. He quickly takes it and places it on top of the head of a bust of an old wizard.

HARRY
That way I will be able to find it.

Harry looks down at Ginny and smiles.

HARRY
Thanks so much for your help Ginny…I don’t know how much trouble I’m in but….

Ginny places a finger over Harry’s mouth. They both look into each other eyes quietly and then they slowly move into each other and begin to kiss. Ginny then backs away slowly.

GINNY
You should hurry. I’ll see you when you get back.

They stare at each other for another moment and Ginny turns and walks slowly away from Harry. He watches for a moment and the scene fades to…

INT. BOYS BATHROOM-NIGHT-MOMENTS LATER

Harry standing in front of Snape who is looking through is backpack. Snape pulls out the Potions book.

SNAPE
This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?

HARRY
Yes.

Snape stares at Harry for another moment and Harry tries to avoid making eye contact.

SNAPE
You know what I think, Potter? I think you are a liar and a cheat and that you will pay for what you’ve done.

He hands Harry back the book and exits as we have a shot of Harry standing in the bathroom holding the book as the scene slowly fades.

The camera fades back in on a shot of Hedwig flying towards the school and we see a shot of Hogwarts.

INT. HALLWAY/COMMON ROOM-EVENING (Music Section)

We see Harry walking alone down a hallway still looking upset about what he had done. He walks into the Common Room where a few other students and Ginny are hanging out. She jumps up as Harry walks in and runs up and hugs him. They then smiles at each other and begin to kiss. Ron and Hermione walk in while this is happening and pause at the sight. Harry looks at Ron who gives a little shrug as Hermione smiles at the sight. She motions for Ron to follow her and they walk off. Harry looks back into Ginny’s eyes and begins to kiss her again.

MONTAGE/2 WEEKS

Next we see a montage of them walking around the grounds holding hands, sitting together making jokes with Ron and Seamus, eating together in the Great Hall, kissing on the bridge, and holding each other under the stars in front of the lake.

INT-GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM/NIGHT

The scene then cuts to them walking together into the common room. She kisses him and runs past Ron who’s sitting on the couch. She smacks him on the head and runs upstairs.

RON
About time you two made it back.

Neville walks up to them holding a piece of parchment.

NEVILLE
This is for you Harry?

Hands the parchment to Harry

HARRY
Thanks Neville…it’s from Dumbledore! He wants me to go to his office as quick as I can!

RON
You don’t think he’s found a…

HARRY
Better go and see…but first things first…

INT. BOYS DORM-MOMENTS LATER

Harry opens his trunk and pulls out his Invisibility Cloak. He notices the Felix Felixes at the bottom of the trunk and picks it up and stares at it. He puts it in a sock and closes the trunk.

INT. COMMON ROOM-MOMENTS LATER

HARRY
Here (Throws socks at Ron)
It’s the Felix Felicis. If Dumbledore has found a you know what then you’ll be needing it. Just in case Draco tries anything. Share it between yourselves…

INT-DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

The scene cuts to Harry walking into Dumbledore’s Office.

DUMBLEDORE
Well, Harry, it seems the time has come.

HARRY
You’ve found a Horcrux sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I believe so. It would be very wrong of me not to warn you that this journey will be exceedingly dangerous. Before we go however I need you to promise me something.

Dumbledore walks up to Harry and places his hand on his shoulders.

DUMBLEDORE
Promise me that you will obey any command I might give you without question. If I say run, hide, go back you will do so

HARRY
Yes, of course.

DUMBLEDORE
If I tell you to leave me and save yourself, you will do as I tell you?

Harry stares in silence at Dumbledore for a moment before answering.

HARRY
Yes, sir.

DUMBLEDORE
Good…now do you have your invisibility cloak with you?

HARRY
Yes sir. Um can I ask sir…which Horcrux is it? Where is it?

DUMBLEDORE
I’m not sure which it is, but….

Dumbledore walks up to his desk and pulls out the drawing of the cave that young Tom Riddle drew and holds it up to Harry.

DUMBLEDORE
This is where we’re going.

The camera zooms in on the picture and then the picture slowly begins to turn into the real cave. Water is crashing beneath it and then SWOOSH Dumbledore appears. Harry takes off his invisibility cloak and they both walk into the entrance.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

DUMBLEDORE
Yes yes, this is the place. This is merely the antechamber, the entrance hall. We need to penetrate the inner place.

Dumbledore touches the wall in front of him mumbling under his breath.

DUMBLEDORE
Here, we go on through here. The entrance is concealed.

He takes his wand and points it at the wall and an arched outline appears with blazing light coming from behind it.

HARRY
You’ve done it!

Dumbledore says nothing but stares at the wall for a moment.

DUMBLEDORE
So crude.

Dumbledore reaches into his rob and pulls out a silver knife.

DUMBLEDORE
I think that we are required to make payment to pass… blood if I’m not mistaken.

HARRY
Blood?

DUMBLEDORE
I said it was crude. The idea is that your enemy must weaken him or herself to enter. Once again, Tom fails to grasp that there are much more terrible things than physical injury.

HARRY
Is there someway we can avoid….

DUMBLEDORE
Sometimes, things are unavoidable.

He pulls up the sleeve exposing his forearm and raises the knife.

HARRY
Professor! I’ll do it, I’m….

Dumbledore swipes the knife down and we see blood splatter on the wall. The silver arch appears on the wall again but doesn’t fade and an opening appears where inside it is completely dark.

DUMBLEDORE
You are very kind Harry, but your blood is worth more than mine. After me, Harry

INT. THE CAVE-NIGHT (MOMENTS LATER)

Dumbledore holds up his wand as they walk into the hole. The camera pans to a wide shot of the great black lake that is in front of them. In the distance there is a faint green glow.

DUMBLEDORE
Let us walk. Be very careful not to step in the water and stay close to me.

They begin to walk across the ledge; their two wands are the only light we’re able to see. Dumbledore hand is scanning the walls as they walk.

HARRY
Do you think we’re going to have to go into the lake sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Only if we are very unfortunate. You see Harry, I think the Horcrux is in the middle.

He points towards the misty green light in the center of the lake.

HARRY
So we’re going to have to cross the lake to get to it?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes and I think I have found the thing that will get us across.

Dumbledore reaches around in mid air and as he does so moves closer to the water. He grabs his wand and taps on his fist that’s in midair and a thick green coppery chain appears out of thin air and is extended into the water from Dumbledore’s fist. He taps the chain and it begins to slide through his fist and making a soft rumble. A tiny boat soon appears above the surface moving towards them as the chain pulls it. Harry stares in shock at Dumbledore.

HARRY
Do you think the boat is safe sir?

DUMBLEDORE
I think so, Voldemort needed to create a means to cross the lake without attracting the wrath of those creatures he had placed within it in case he ever wanted to visit or remove his Horcrux.

The boat stops right in front of them.

HARRY
It doesn’t look like it was built for two people. Will it hold both of us?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort will not have cared about the weight, but about the amount of magical power that crossed his lake. I do not think you will count, Harry. Do you think Voldemort would expect a sixteen year old to reach this place? Now you first this time and be careful not to touch the water.

Harry stops into the boat followed by Dumbledore and the boat begins to move forward. Harry looks down into the water with his wand and a human hand appears.

HARRY
Professor! There are bodies in here!

DUMBLEDORE
Inferi Harry, but we don’t need to worry about them at the moment. There is nothing to be feared from a body any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

The boat gets closer to the island in the middle of the lake. There are more and more bodies in the water the closer they get and there’s a soft thud as the boat hits them. The boat comes to a halt at the island of smooth rock and both Dumbledore and Harry get out of the boat onto the island. In the middle of it stands a pedestal where the light is coming from. They both approach the basin and look into it. Inside we see a emerald liquid emitting that phosphorescent glow. Dumbledore pulls back his sleeve and stretches his fingers towards the material but meets an invisible barrier.

DUMBLEDORE
Interesting, I cannot touch it. There’s an invisible barrier.

He raises his wand and starts to do wand movements in over the basin. Nothing seems to happen as he continues to try.

HARRY
You think the Horcrux is in there, sir?

DUMBLEDORE
Yes…but how to reach it.

He waves his wand again and a crystal goblet appears in midair and he grabs it.

DUMBLEDORE
I can only conclude that this potion is supposed to be drunk. Only by drinking it can I empty the basin and see what lies in it’s depths.

HARRY
What? No! What if it kills you?

DUMBLEDORE
Voldemort would want to keep the person who reaches this island alive long enough to find out how they managed to get this far. Still, this potion must act in a way that will prevent me taking the Horcrux. Harry, it will be your job to make sure I keep drinking, even if you have to tip the potion into my mouth. You understand?

HARRY
But sir…

DUMBLEDORE
You swore to follow any command I give you did you not?

HARRY
But why can’t I drink it instead.

DUMBLEDORE
Because I’m much older, cleverer, and much less valuable. Now do I have your word?

HARRY
Couldn’t I just….

DUMBLEDORE
Your word, Harry!

Harry nods and without another word Dumbledore dips the Goblet into the substance and fills it to the brim and lifts it to his mouth. He drinks it all down as Harry watches in horror.
Dumbledore keeps his eyes closed as he dips the glass into the basin again and proceeds to drink again. Dumbledore frowns and his fingers start to lose grip of the cup. Harry grabs it and holds it steady.

HARRY
Professor?

DUMBLEDORE
I don’t want…don’t make me…don’t like…want to stop…

HARRY
You can’t stop Professor, you’ve got to keep drinking remember?

Harry frowns as he forces the rest of the drink down Dumbledore’s throat. Harry then dips the cup back into the basin and fills it up.

DUMBLEDORE
No, no, no, no, I can’t, don’t make me…make it stop…make it stop…

HARRY
This’ll make it stop

He dips the contents into Dumbledore’s mouth again and when Dumbledore swallows he lets out a scream.

DUMBLEDORE
It’s all my fault, I know I did wrong, I’ll never do it again, please make it stop. Don’t hurt them, please...hurt me instead.

HARRY
Here sir, drink this, you’ll be alright

Dumbledore obeys and drinks again as he starts to shake uncontrollably. He falls onto the ground screaming as Harry refills the cup.

DUMBLEDORE
I want to die! Make it stop…I want to die!

HARRY
Drink this Professor…

DUMBLEDORE
KILL ME! KILL ME!!

HARRY
This one will sir!

He forces the drink down Dumbledore’s throat and with a gasp he rolls over on his face in silence.

HARRY
NO!

Harry drops the cup and Harry grabs Dumbledore’s body as it lies there.

HARRY
You’re not dead, wake up...WAKE UP!
(He points his wand at Dumbledore’s chest.)
Rennervate! Sir…please…

Dumbledore’s eyelids flicker.

DUMBLEDORE
Water.

HARRY
Water...yes…(he grabs the goblet and points his wand at it.) Aquamenti!
(The goblet fills with water as Harry takes it over to Dumbledore and brought the glass to his lips, but it is empty.)
Wait...it was just in here…Aquamenti!

It fills again and as it approaches Dumbledore’s mouth disappears. Dumbledore breathing begins to fade and Harry looks around in panic. We see him run towards the lake and plunge the goblet into it and run over to Dumbledore. Harry tips the water into Dumbledore’s mouth until it is empty. He then runs to the lake again and dips the goblet. As he turns to leave he trips. The camera pans to shows a hand around one of Harry’s legs. Harry screams as it begins to pull him towards the water. The surface of the water isn’t calm anymore and the heads of men, woman, and children begin to emerge from the water. The army of Inferi start to climb onto the island from all sides moving slowly groaning loudly as if in pain.

HARRY
Petrificus Totalus!

He blasts the arm of the Inferi that was holding him and it lets go and falls into the water. Harry jumps up as the Inferi start to increase in numbers. As the Inferi crawl slowly towards him a look of horror feels Harry’s face.

HARRY
PETRIFICUS TOTALUS! IMPEDIMENTA! INCARCEROUS!

Only a few Inferi are taken out by these spells as more and more start to rise out of the water.

HARRY
SECTUMSEMPRA! SECTUMSEMPA!!!

Gashes appear in their bodies but there is no blood. They continue to walk slowly towards Harry. One crawls towards Dumbledore and Harry runs and kicks it off of him. One grabs his legs and he falls losing his wand. He screams as they begin to overtake him. One after another they pile on top of Harry as he screams out in pain! We see them covering him up and then BOOM there’s a blast of light. The Inferi are thrown from Harry and the camera pans to Dumbledore standing with his wand with a look of fury in his eyes.

DUMBLEDORE
Come to me Harry!

Harry grabs his wand and runs to Dumbledore. Dumbledore casts another bright powerful spell at a few inferi as dozens more begin to slowly pile onto the island. The Inferi are tossed back as Dumbledore grabs Harry’s arm and pulls him close to him. Dumbledore raises his wand and there is a loud rumble and a ring of fire emerges from Dumbledore’s wand and surrounds him and Harry. Some Inferi are caught by the fire ring and moans in agony as its body is burned slowly. We see the Inferi bumping into each other blindly and some cowering away from the flame. Dumbledore reaches into the basin and pulls out locket from within. The flame starts to move faster around them and the camera pans out to show we can’t see Harry or Dumbledore because the fire has formed a sort of cocoon around them. There’s a second of silence and BOOM the cocoon explodes outward knocking out a lot of the Inferi. They all crawl into the water and Dumbledore collapses.

HARRY
Sir...I forgot about fire…they were coming and I panicked…

DUMBLEDORE
That’s understandable…I am weak….

Harry helps Dumbledore into the boat and it starts to move towards the shore on its own.

DUMBLEDORE
I must say…the protection was well designed. One alone could not have done it…you did very well Harry.

The boat comes to a THUD and Harry jumps out the boat and helps Dumbledore out.

HARRY
Lumos!

Harry’s wand lights up and they walk along the shore. Dumbledore hand slowly follows the wall of the cave and he stops.

DUMBLEDORE
It is here. Looks like the gateway sealed itself again, my knife….

HARRY
There’s no need, I got cut on the rock. Just tell me where…

DUMBLEDORE
Here…

Harry wipes his forearm against the stone and the barrier is opened and they pass through it.

INT. CAVE ANTECHAMBER-NIGHT

HARRY
It’s going to be all right sir…I can Appartate us both back….don’t worry…

DUMBLEDORE
Ah Harry, I’m not worried. I am with you.


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  #200  
Old June 29th, 2008, 5:58 pm
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Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

I think Dumbledore has too much coherent dialog at the end of your script. It just cheapens his condition imo. His only sane line should be "I am not worried, Harry. I am with you."


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