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Old September 30th, 2007, 10:34 pm
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Phrozenone  Male.gif Phrozenone is offline
Fourth Year
 
Join Date: 28th May 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 608
Re: Fan Scripts: Harry Potter Remakes

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArryGrotter View Post
Great to see it.

And what is/was missing (except Spinners End) it seemed fine to me (except Spinners End)
Thanks

What I'll try to do is find my drafts with my take on Spinner's End. If I remember correctly I was trying to be as vague as possible especially on Snape's behalf, but I'll make sure to post that as soon as I can find it. The reason why I took it out was because I thought, at the time, it gave to much away. After that chapter I knew Snape was up to something and I wanted the ending to come to a surprise in my Screenplay so I just got rid of it. Well here's Diagon Alley to Hogwarts Afterwards I'll explain why I did what I did aswell lol

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY-LATER THAT DAY

Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny walking down the streets of Diagon Alley. It doesn’t look the same however. It was empty, only a few familys where around. You see Ministry of Magic posters all around and black and white photos of Bellatrix Lestrange sneering on them. A lot of the familiar shops were boarded up and a few people were saleing things on the side of the streets. Then the scene fades too…

INT. MADAM MALKIN- SAME DAY

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk into the shop and pause when they see Draco standing there in a mirror with Madam Milken knelt down threading Draco’s robs.

DRACO
I’m not a child, in case you haven’t noticed, Mother. I am perfectly capable of shopping alone! And watch where you’re sticking that pin, will you!

He looks in the mirror again and notices the trio standing in the doorway and smirks.

DRACO
If you’re wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in.

MADAM MALKIN
I don’t think there’s any need for language like that!
(She looks back and sees Harry and Ron both have their wands drawn)
And I don’t want wands drawn in my shop either!

HERMIONE
(Grabs both there arms)
No, don’t, it’s not worth it.

NARCISSA MALFOY walks from around the corner

NARCISSA
Put those away. If you attack my son I shall ensure that it is the last thing you ever do.

HARRY
Really? Going to get a few Death Eater pals to do us in, are you?

NARCISSA
I see that being Dumbledore’s favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won’t always be there to protect you.

HARRY
(He looks around the shop)
That’s funny…look at that…he’s not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!

DRACO
(He turns around suddenly)
Don’t you dare talk to my mother like that, Potter!

NARCISSA
It’s alright Draco. I expect Potter will be reunited with Sirius before I am reunited with Lucius.
(Harry points his wand towards her face)

DRACO
Mother…I don’t think I want these robes anymore

NARCISSA
You’re right, Draco. Now I know the kind of scum that shops here…we’ll do better at Twilfitt and Tatting’s.

MADAM MALIKIN
Well, really!

Narcissa grabs Draco by the arm as he throws the robes in Madam Malkins face and they exit. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all look at each other as the scene cuts to the Weasleys, Hermione, and Harry walking down the streets of Diagon Ally.

The camera goes past them to a shop which, compared to the one’s around it, was light and lively. In the window of the shop was a large sign that read “Why Are You Worrying About You-Know-Who? You Should Be Worrying About U-No-Poo- The Constipation Sensation That’s Gripping The Nation!” The camera pans back to them standing in front of the window as Mrs. Weasley grabs her chest.

MRS. WEASLEY
They’ll be murdered in their sleep!

They all walk into the shop and we see an assortment of gadgets and boxes. There are boxes labeled Skiving Snackboxes and Nosebleed Nougat. There are boxes of wans, quills which came in Self Inking and Smart Answer varieties. The camera s then pans to the front of the store where Fred and George are standing

FRED
Welcome

FRED AND GEORGE
To Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!!

They both walk up and hug their mom and dad. Fred punches Ron on the arm as he walks past him.

HARRY
Nice place guys.

GINNY
(She looks at love potions)
Do these things work?

GEORGE
Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question, and the attractiveness of the girl. But we’re not selling them to our sister, not when she’s already got about five boys on the go from what we’ve heard…

GINNY
(Irritably)
Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie.

FRED
Are you or are you not currently going out with a boy called Dean Thomas?

GINNY
Yes I am, what are those?

GEORGE
Pygmy Puffs, Miniature puffskeins, we can’t breed them fast enough. So what about Micheal Corner?

GINNY
I dumped him, he was a bad loser. They’re really cute!

FRED
They’re fairly cuddly, yes. But you’re moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren’t you?

GINNY
It’s none of your business. And I’ll thank you
(She turns to look at Ron who just turned around the corner)
not to tell tales about me to these two!

RON
WHAT!

As they argue Harry looks out of the window and sees Draco Malfoy hurrying up the street alone. He looks over his shoulders and hurry’s out of view. Harry leans over to Hermione who is holding one of the Pygmy Puffs.

HARRY
Wonder where his mommy is?

EXT. KNOCKTURN ALLEY-MINUTES LATER

The scene cuts to Harry, Ron, and Hermione walking down the street in Harry’s invisibilty cloak. We see Draco take a turn down Knockturn Alley and the trio follows. They pause as Draco walkes in Borgin and Burkes. They walk up closley next to the door. They look in and see Malfoy talking to Mr. Borgin

HERMIONE
If only we could hear what they’re saying!

RON
We can. Hang out.
(He starts searching his pockets.)
Where are those damn things…oh here they are…Extendable Ears.

They put one part of the string in their ears and the camera follows the other ends of the string under the floor and across the floor of the shop and stop close to Malfoy and Borgin.

INT. BORGIN AND BURKES-MINUTES LATER

DRACO
You know how to fix it?

BORGIN
Possibly, I’ll need to see it, though. Why don’t you bring it into the shop?

MALFOY
I can’t. It’s got to stay put. I just need you to tell me how to do it.

BORGIN
Well without seeing it, I must say it will be a very difficult job, perhaps impossible. I couldn’t guarentee anything.

DRACO
No? Perhaps this will make you more confident.
(The camera cuts to Harry with a look of suspicion on his face so we never see what Draco gives him and then cuts back to Draco.)
Tell anyone and there will be retribution. You know Fenrir Greyback? He’s a family friend. He’ll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you’re giving the problem your full attention

BORGIN
There will be no need for…

DRACO
I’ll decide that. Not a word to anyone, Borgin, and that includes my mother, understand?

BORGIN
Naturally, naturally
(He bows and Draco turns around wand walks out of the shop right past them in the Invisibility Cloak)

EXT. DIAGON ALLEY-A FEW MINUTES LATER

The scene cuts to them walking out of Knockturn Alley and slowly back to Fred and George’s shop without the cloak.

HERMIONE
Yes, it was fishy Harry, but there could be a lot of explanations for what Malfoy was talking about.

HARRY
I know it’s just, Malfoy’s fathers in Azkaban. Don’t you think he’d like revenge?

RON
Revenge? What can he do about it?

HARRY
I don’t know! But he’s up to something and I think we should take it seriously. His fathers a Death Eater and….(His stops walking as his eyes widen and Hermione looks at him with a worried look)

HERMIONE
Harry? What’s wrong?

HARRY
He’s a Death Eater. He’s replaced his father as a Death Eater!

RON
(Laughing)
Malfoy? A Death Eater? Harry come on now!

HARRY
You guys don’t have to believe me, but I know somethings up with Malfoy and I’m going to find out what.

There is a sound of a train and

EXT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS-NOON

The scene cuts to a shot of the Hogwarts Express going down the track. The camera goes up and

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS- NOON

Through the window into the compartment where Harry, Neville, and Luna are sitting.

LUNA
Are we still doing D.A. meetings this year, Harry?

HARRY
No point Luna, we’ve gotten rid of Umbridge.

NEVILLE
I liked the D.A. I learned loads from you!

LUNA
I enjoyed the meetings too. It was like having friends.

A group of girls open the compartment giggling and one steps inside towards Harry

ROMILDA
Hey Harry, I’m Romilda Vance. Why don’t you join us in our compartment? You don’t have to sit with them!

HARRY
Oh I don’t do I? Well they’re friends of mine!

ROMILDA
Why?
(She and her friends laugh)

NEVILLE
It’s ok Harry, you can go…

HARRY
No, these are my friends and I think you should go

ROMILDA
(Surprised)
Are you serious?
(Dissapointently)
Well…Oh, Oh Ok then
(She rushed out and closes the door)

LUNA
People expect you to have cooler friends than us.

HARRY
You are cool, none of them were at the Minsitry. They didn’t fight with me.

Luna and Neville both smile at Harry and he looks out of the window with a look of deep thought on his face.

NEVILLE
Are you alright Harry?

HARRY
Yeah, I’m fine…

LUNA
I don’t think so…maybe a Wrackspurt got you?

HARRY
I may regret asking this, but a what?

LUNA
Wrackspurt…they’re invisible. They float in through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy. I thought I felt one zooming around in here.

Luna starts flapping her hands around in mid air. Neville and Harry look at each other as if they’re trying to hold back a laugh and the compartment door opens and a young third year is standing there with an envelope.)

STUDENT
I’m supposed to deliver these to Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter.
(The students hands it to them and exits.)

NEVILLE
What is it?

HARRY
I dunno
(He opens up the letter and begins to read.)
Harry, I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C. Sincerely, Professor H. E. F. Slughorn.

NEVILLE
Who’s Professor Slughorn?

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS-SLUGHORNS COMPARTMENT-MOMENTS LATER

The scene cuts to Harry, Neville, Blaise Zabini, Ginny, Cormic MacLaggen and three other students sitting in the compartment. A large shiny head bald man with a silver mustache is also there with a great smile on his face.

SLUGHORN
Well now, this is most pleasant. Welcome you lot, I am Professor Slughorn, I’ve been asked to take up post in a missing spot at Hogwarts! I just called this meeting to get to know you all a little better. Can’t have to many connections eh?
(chuckles)

Harry, Neville, and Ginny all look at each other.

SLUGHORN
Ah Cormac McLaggen, I happen to know your Uncle Tiberius very well.

CORMAC
Do you sir?

SLUGHORN
Oh yes yes, splendid wizard he is. I’m sure no doubt you possess many of his varied talents yourself eh?

CORMAC
Well I must say I….

SLUGHORN
(looks off a notices Harry’s scar)
And you must be Harry Potter
(He grabs his hand and shakes it)
Pleasure it is

HARRY
Pleasure sir.

SLUGHORN
Where to begin with you Harry Potter? They’re calling you ‘The Chosen One’ now boy! Of course there have been rumors for years, I remember when…well after that terrible night…Lily...James…and you surivived and the word was that you must have powers beyond the ordinary…

Zabini gives a little cough and the other Slytherians in the room laugh.

GINNY
Yeah, Zabini, because you’re soooo talented…at posing…

SLUGHORN
Oh dear! You want to careful, Blaise! Saw this young lady perform the most marvelous Bat Bogy Hex as I was passing her carriage! I wouldn’t cross her.
(Chuckles)
Now Harry Harry, you look so much like your father. Except for your eyes, you’ve got…

HARRY
My mother’s eyes, yeah…I’ve heard.

SLUGHORN
Yes well….I taught your parents; yes Lily Evans was an excellent student. One of the brightest I ever taught, charming. I used to tell her that she ought to be in my House!

ZABINI
And what house is that sir?

SLUGHORN
Why Slytherian of course!

Zabini and the other slytherians in the room smile and Ginny rolls her eyes.

SLUGHORN
Your mother was muggle born of course, couldn’t believe it when I found out. Thought she must have been pure-blood, she was so good.

HARRY
One of my best friends is Muggle born and she’s the best in our year!

SLUGHORN
(Chuckles)
Yes, funny how that sometimes happens isn’t it?

HARRY
(coldly)
Not really…

SLUGHORN
You mustn’t think I’m prejudice! Your mother was one of my all time favorite students you know.

HARRY
I bet…

SLUGHORN
Heh, well…now on to you Zabini..how is your dear mother these days….

INT-HOGWARTS EXPRESS-HALLWAY-NIGHT

As Slughorn continues to talk Harry looks out of the window and the scene cuts to all the students exiting Slughorns cabin. Neville, Ginny, and Harry turn and walk down the aisle’s together

NEVILLE
I’m glad that’s over, strange man isn’t he?

GINNY
So what class d’you suppose he’s teaching?

HARRY
Probably Defense…
(Zabini bumps into Harry as he walks past towards the Slytherian compartment)
And what is he playing at anyways. He only invited people because of who they were connected to or who they know….except for you Ginny what did you…?

GINNY
Oh he saw me hex Zacharias Smith, he thought it was really good and invited me to lunch.

HARRY

Well better reason for inviting someone than because their mother’s famous or because their uncle….
(He pauses and continues to watch Zabini walk up the hall)
I’ll see you two later

NEVILLE
But what’re you…

(Harry pulls out his invisibility cloack and looks around to see if anyone’s looking and throws it over himself. He runs up behinds Zabini who opens the compartment and

INT. HOGWARTS EXPRESS- SLYTHERIAN COMPARTMENT-NOON

They open their compartment and he slides in before they close it. Inside the room is Zabini, Goyle, Crabbe, Malfoy, and Pansy Parkinson. Before Zabini can sit down Harry jumps on his seat and jumps up into the luggage compartment and his foot comes from under the cloack for a quick second and he lies down.

ZABINI
What’s going on? (sitting down)

MALFOY
What did Slughorn want?

ZABINI
Just trying to make up to well connected people, not that he managed to find many. He invited Longbottom, Potter, and that Weasley girl!

MALFOY
He invited Longbottom? What’s Longbottom got to interest Slughorn? And Potter, obviously he wanted a look at ‘the Chosen One’ but that Weasley girl! What’s so special about her!

PANSY
A lot of boys like her, even you think she’s good looking don’t you Blaise?

ZABINI
I wouldn’t touch a filthy blood traitor like her whatever she looked like.

MALFOY
Pity, father always said Slughorn was a good wizard in his day, but it seems he’s gone a bit senile. Who cares who’s he’s interested in anyways, he’s just a stupid teacher. I mean I might not even be at Hogwarts next year….

ZABINI
Really?

DRACO
Well you never know, I might have moved on to bigger and better things.

PANSY
(Gasp)
Do you mean…him?

DRACO
Mother wants me to complete my education, but personally, I don’t see it as that important these days. When the Dark Lord takes over, is he going to care how many O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s anyone’s got?

ZABINI
And you think you’ll be able to do something for him? Sixteen years old and not even fully qualified yet?

DRACO
I’ve just said, haven’t I? Maybe the job he wants me to do isn’t something that you need to be qualified for. (Crabbe and Goyle look at each other.) I can see Hogwarts, we’d better get our robes on.

The scene cuts to show the train slowing down to stop. Everyone is leaving the compartment one by one. Draco then pauses and turns back around. He closes the door and lets down the blinds. He then points his wand to where Harry is hidden

DRACO
Petrificus Totalus!

We see Harry eyes widen as he is frozen and falls out of the compartment on the floor without his cloak. Draco is looking down on him smiling.

DRACO
I thought so, I saw something white flash through the air after Zabini came back. You didn’t hear anything I care about, Potter. But while I’ve got you here… (He stomps on Harry’s face. Blood is streaming from Harry’s noes.) That’s from my father. Now lets see….(He grabs the invisibility cloak and throws it over Harry.) I don’t reckon they’ll find you till the trains back in London. See you around Potter…or not.

Draco walks out of the compartment and slams the door and we see Harry trapped underneath the invisibility cloak unable to move. The train starts to move under him and we see and hand reached down and pulled the cloak off of him, and the camera pans to Tonks standing there.

TONKS
Wotcher Harry.
(She points her wand at him and a flash of red light hits Harry and he’s unfrozen.)
We’d better get out of here, quickly.

The scene cuts to…

EXT. TRAIN STATION- DUSK

Harry and Tonks walking from the train station and there is a shot of Hogwarts in the distance.

TONKS
Who did it?

HARRY
Draco Malfoy, Tonks thanks for….

TONKS
No problem, I can fix your nose if you stand still.
(She points her wand at his nose)
Episkey.

HARRY
Thanks.

TONKS
We can walk up to the school. (She waves her wand in the air and a silver four legged creature erupts from the wand and streaks off towards the castle) I’m sending word to the castle that I’ve got you.

HARRY
How did you find me?

TONKS
I noticed you hadn’t left the train and I knew you had the cloak. I saw the blinds drawn on that compartment so I thought I’d check.

HARRY
But what are you doing here, anyway?

TONKS
I’m stationed at Hogsmeade with Proudfoot, Savage, and Dawlish to give the school extra protection.

The scene fades to…


Ok so WHY did I leave the Draco Compartment thing in...dunno..I liked the scene. Also as you guys will see hopefully I have a beginning, middle, and end as it pertains to Harry/Draco's fight. As you have seen Fenrir will be in and like I said before this was before DH so ALOT will change lol. Would I cut it now..probably so. Also in this draft I wasn't sure how important Lupin/Tonks was and Bill/Fluer was. In my new one I will focus more on Lupin/Tonks, but in this one they're hinted at but it's not stated that they're together. The next time I post will be Great Hall until the end of the first Potions lesson I suppose.



Last edited by Phrozenone; September 30th, 2007 at 10:39 pm.
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