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Old January 20th, 2010, 2:09 am
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FurryDice  Female.gif FurryDice is offline
Hogwarts Graduate
Join Date: 28th December 2007
Location: Ireland
Age: 34
Posts: 2,591
Re: Gender: Roles, Stereotypes, Discrimination Version 2

And I don't think anyone can ever be blamed for abuse they receive. If you stick your hand in a beehive and get stung, then yeah, you hold some of the responsibility because bees will sting. When it comes to humans, we expect people to be responsible for their own actions. A woman has a responsibility to herself to take care of herself and make good decisions, but she can't be responsible for someone else's choice to hurt her.

Moreover, dependency on the abuser often accompanies abuse - whether financial or emotional. Some women can't get away because there's no-one to turn to for help, precisely because in many societies, most people will blame them.
I agree, people are responsible for their own choices, yet many people seem unable or unwilling to accept that. A few pages back on the previous version, someone commented that with rape cases, maybe people, especially women blame the victim because they want to reassure themselves with the thinking "if she was at least partially at fault, it can't happen to me if I don't do what she did". I think maybe the same thinking is sometimes applied to domestic violence.

Also, V8 makes a good point - people's home personas and outside personas can be totally different. This difference can mean that people don't want to believe that a popular guy, (or woman, as females can be perpetrators also) who gets involved in the community, has lots of friends and has no criminal record can possibly be capable of domestic violence. Or, if they do believe it, they think the victim "had to have done something wrong to provoke such a lovely person."


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"Relationships are like glass; sometimes it's better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself trying to put them back together." Anonymous
"Like this one time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatising event of my life and she’s trying to make it about her leg. Like my pain meant nothing." - Cordelia; Buffy the Vampire Slayer S1Ep11.

Last edited by FurryDice; January 20th, 2010 at 2:14 am.
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