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Old December 20th, 2007, 9:35 pm
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ArryGrotter  Male.gif ArryGrotter is offline
Too... Much... Fangirling...
Join Date: 17th October 2005
Location: Auckland, NZ
Age: 27
Posts: 3,281
Re: Fan Scripts: Script your own version of Harry Potter

Originally Posted by Phrozenone View Post
Well as a treat here is the next part of the screenplay. Let me know what you think!
I didn't have time to read this yesterday, so...

I like how you moved the aftermath of the Penseive into the Penseive (Though I do miss "The mouth organ was only ever a mouth organ")

And next comes some of my favourite scenes, though I am dissapointed with the scene move (Herbology>Courtyard, etc.) and that is sure to happen in the real HBP.

This is just personal choice, but in the UK ed, Ron/Hermione say "got off with McClaggen" instead of "hook up with McClaggen" and, IMO, I'd preferr "got off", mainly because its the UK way.

"Look at the time" was so cheesy! Worst line ever!

I can't wait to see you write the party.

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