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-   -   Is it weird to have a crush on a fictional character? (http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.php?t=115121)

DeathlyH February 15th, 2008 11:17 pm

Is it weird to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Ok, so all of you Edward Cullen/Ron Weasley/James Potter/Harry/Dumbledore/Giant Squid fan girls, as long as all the fanguys (:scared:) know that I mean you no offense at all, but I was wondering about this. A lot of people seem to really love some fictional person (myself included- I've had my share of crushes on Hermione- well, more Emma Watson, but that's off-topic :D). My question is- is this wierd or bad for you?

The reason, I'm assuming, that most of you like this character is because of their traits *ignores the drools over character appearance*. Well, those traits, if they were given to a real person, would not be givens, the person would have to work hard to be that kind of person. So I wonder- if the person doesn't really have those traits, are they admirable? Remember, an author giving a character admirable traits is not as hard to do as someone actually having those.

While I see and understand perfectly how someone can like a character a lot, even romantically, is it wierd to like them? In my opinion, it's almost like having an imaginary friend who can be whatever you want them to, except that in this case, someone else thinks of him/her for you. While I admire the traits of many many characters, I don't think it is good for me to "love them."

Feel free to disagree with me. :)

Reader February 17th, 2008 2:30 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
No. It's not weird. Yes, they are fictional, but that doesn't mean you can't be in love with them. Especially if you're young.
It's different to love a fictional character, than a real human. Two different kinds of love, but both just as strong. But it's much different.

DancingMaenid February 17th, 2008 8:57 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I don't think it's necessarily weird. And I mean that in two different ways, actually. On one hand, it's definitely not unusual, since it's something a lot of people experience. But also, if a fictional character has traits that we find attractive, I don't think it's strange or bad to notice that. That said, I do think there are levels that are healthy and levels that are unhealthy. For one thing, fictional characters get some leeway that real people don't. If a character is nasty or cruel, nobody is actually being hurt, so we can appreciate great villians as just that, and appreciate any attractive qualities they might have, but it's important to remember that they're not necessarily good people and that if they were real, it might not be healthy to like them, romantically or otherwise. Also, I would say that if someone felt so strongly for a fictional character that they based a large amount of their life around that and/or neglected real life relationships, that is probably unhealthy.

hplova15165 February 17th, 2008 10:44 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Is it weird to like a fictional character? Of course not! I happen to fall in love with fictional characters all the time. I'm sorry to disagree with all those people who think it's unhealthy.

I am currently in love with... James Potter/Harry Potter/Sirius Black/Edward Cullen/Will (from the Golden Compass). I'm technically not in love with them... My friends and I just obsess over them constantly. Our binders and textbooks have their names written all over them with hearts rather than the cute boys in our class. Some people call us weird, some call us queer, but I just think that we have a small problem.

I know people who are in love with Mr. Darcy, Romeo Montague, Heathcliff, etc. It's natural for a human to fall in love with a person who seems to be... well... perfect in every possible way, even though they're fictional.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeathlyH (Post 4929453)
The reason, I'm assuming, that most of you like this character is because of their traits *ignores the drools over character appearance*. Well, those traits, if they were given to a real person, would not be givens, the person would have to work hard to be that kind of person. So I wonder- if the person doesn't really have those traits, are they admirable? Remember, an author giving a character admirable traits is not as hard to do as someone actually having those.

I do love their traits. Take Edward Cullen, for example. He's extremely handsome, kind but sarcastic, loving, patient, caring, mature... he's the guy that most girls dream of (including me :D). IMO, it's not bad to want a guy as perfect as he is. Although, after you read about Edward, every guy you meet afterwards seems to fall below your expectations...

dweaselqueen February 18th, 2008 6:22 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Quote:

originally posted by DeathlyH
While I see and understand perfectly how someone can like a character a lot, even romantically, is it weird to like them? In my opinion, it's almost like having an imaginary friend who can be whatever you want them to, except that in this case, someone else thinks of him/her for you. While I admire the traits of many many characters, I don't think it is good for me to "love them."
It's understandable that we "bond" with characters that we feel have admirable traits. Ron is my favorite character because he is similar to many of my guy friends. He is hilarious, fairly athletic, loyal, and brave. So I admire him. And I feel the same about other fictional characters.

However, claiming to "love" characters is dangerous. I think it's fine to bond with a character and admit that you would date them if they existed, but to obsess over a fictional character is just as dangerous as it is to obsess over a real person.

DeathlyH February 18th, 2008 5:02 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dweaselqueen (Post 4931524)
It's understandable that we "bond" with characters that we feel have admirable traits. Ron is my favorite character because he is similar to many of my guy friends. He is hilarious, fairly athletic, loyal, and brave. So I admire him. And I feel the same about other fictional characters.

However, claiming to "love" characters is dangerous. I think it's fine to bond with a character and admit that you would date them if they existed, but to obsess over a fictional character is just as dangerous as it is to obsess over a real person.

Thank you, Diane. That was the point I was really trying to make. You can really admire a person's traits, because they are generally good traits and they are meant to be admired. However, if you really love them, you could run into some problems, mainly because they don't exist. ;) When someone who has a real crush on a fictional character realizes this, they will be pretty distraught. That's why I tend to admire than more than love them. :)

HouseStark February 19th, 2008 4:50 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
It's ok to say "if that character were a real person, i would totally hit that"

it's not ok to compare real people to fictional characters or allow fictional characters to take the place of real people in your mind.

dweaselqueen February 19th, 2008 6:32 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Quote:

originally posted by DeathlyH
Thank you, Diane. That was the point I was really trying to make. You can really admire a person's traits, because they are generally good traits and they are meant to be admired. However, if you really love them, you could run into some problems, mainly because they don't exist. ;) When someone who has a real crush on a fictional character realizes this, they will be pretty distraught. That's why I tend to admire than more than love them. :)
No problem, Brian. ;)

Quote:

originally posted by HouseStark
it's not ok to compare real people to fictional characters or allow fictional characters to take the place of real people in your mind.
Exactly. :agree: That is an unhealthy level of obsession. Allowing yourself to obsess to that level over a fictional character is dangerous. It's not just a matter of how distraught the person would be upon realizing that the beloved character is fictional, but also about the psychology behind obsessing to such a deep level over a person who will never and can never exist

sllagnire February 19th, 2008 9:39 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I wouldn't say that it is weird to have a crush on a fictional character, but I do think that it can go too far. As long as you still realize that they still are a fictional character, it is ok. But Once you start believing that the character is real and actually wanting to be with that character, then it could create some issues.

themagickeeper February 21st, 2008 7:10 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I don't think it's weird. I mean, I'm still waiting for Mr. Thornton to 'look back at me', Edward Cullen to bite me, Mr. Darcy to fall in love with me, Lancelot to seduce me instead of Guenievere, Harry to chose me over Ginny... god the list goes on and on...

okay i realise that it is slightly a bit of an unhealthy obsession, but I know these guys aren't real.. if you were to base your daily life around them, etc then that would be weird

Beatifically February 21st, 2008 8:08 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DeathlyH (Post 4929453)
Ok, so all of you Edward Cullen/Ron Weasley/James Potter/Harry/Dumbledore/Giant Squid fan girls, as long as all the fanguys (:scared:) know that I mean you no offense at all, but I was wondering about this. A lot of people seem to really love some fictional person (myself included- I've had my share of crushes on Hermione- well, more Emma Watson, but that's off-topic :D). My question is- is this wierd or bad for you?

Did someone mention James? :love:

Okay, time to be serious. I do have fictional crushes, but I wouldn't really consider them unhealthy. It isn't anything like the crushes or friendships I have in real life. I usually just wish I could meet someone like the character I have a "crush" on, and that's as far as it gets. I find the personality traits attractive and I wish I could meet more people with those traits.

In a way, I guess I do love the characters. It's nowhere near the same as the love I have for people in real life. It's the kind of love I have for fictional characters. I grow attached to them and love reading about them, but I don't replace them for the people in real life.

That's part of the problem I see nowadays. A lot of girls that are reading books are moping that they can't find a character like the fictional ones they read about. I may like a character, but I don't get depressed over the guys I know in real life. I don't know why, I just don't feel the need to get depressed over it. I think that when a girl or guy does that, then it's unhealthy.

LoonyMagic February 21st, 2008 8:36 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I don't think it's weird. I wouldn't say that I have a "crush" over certain characters that I come across. It's more that I admire their traits and actions and actually feel that in real life I could get along with them. I do absolutely love some characters, but I don't pine after them for hours upon hours wishing that there was someone like them out there. Obviously I wish there was an Edward Cullen or a Ron Weasley out there, but I don't think about it that often. Most of the time when reading Twilight I hope that I could have the equivalent of Edward to Bella. Not the actual character but someone who could have those kinds of traits, but is different. I think it's quite usual. I think it's healthy when all of these thoughts stay with you when reading the books, but can get unhealthy when you begin thinking about this chracter all the time, getting upset that this character isn't real. I think it can get unhealthy but in most cases it's only a little crush :)

Pearl_Took February 27th, 2008 2:00 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I think it's OK to crush on a fictional character so long as you maintain the boundaries between fantasy and reality. :)

The characters we love represent some kind of ideal or virtue and that in itself can be inspirational.

Luka13 February 27th, 2008 2:54 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I think that people do develop 'crushes' on fictional characters, they have a load of fantasy novels for women, and I know a load of those women that get crushes on the characters. I personally have had- well, not really a crush, but more like a 'if she was a real person, I'd be trying to get on a date with her before you could say 'banana!' ' But other then that, not really a big crush or anything. And I'm not going to say what fictional girl in a book that I had the thought about, because now I'm a bit embarassed now that I've told everyone... :lol:

Adventurer February 28th, 2008 2:45 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
It's not weird to have a crush on a fictional character. I think that's what the authors aim at. If you like a character you're more likely to read the book. And people usually make their characters something that they wish they could be or someone they wish they knew, like this perfect person (with the few faults that make you love them more). So it's not weird or unhealthy but could become if you start obsessing about the character instead of living your own life.

Wizard_Pupil February 28th, 2008 3:04 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Its totally normal, because fictional characters represent the person we all desire it were real.
Fictional characters are created as an impulse to make real somehow something that isnt.

This is totally normal, you can try not to have a crush with a fictional character, but its impossible if that character is the person you wish it were real. Mostly all those of character are perfect, because thats what you like when you create a character. You do it the way you would like a real person...

But this is very dissapointing , because you will never find in the real life someone like that character.

LoonyMagic February 28th, 2008 5:07 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I think having a crush on a fictional character in books can be just the same as having a crush on a celebrity or fictional character in a film. However, book characters feel a lot more closer to you, because although essentially an author has written this character, each person will have a different image in their head, and different ideas about this character. Also, I feel that reading books can be a very personal experience. Most people can, however, differentiate from real life and fiction, so I think it's perfectly fine :)

Mina_Harker February 28th, 2008 11:08 pm

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LoonyMagic (Post 4941641)
I think having a crush on a fictional character in books can be just the same as having a crush on a celebrity or fictional character in a film. However, book characters feel a lot more closer to you, because although essentially an author has written this character, each person will have a different image in their head, and different ideas about this character. Also, I feel that reading books can be a very personal experience. Most people can, however, differentiate from real life and fiction, so I think it's perfectly fine :)

I totally agree. I woudn't say that I, personally, fall "in love" with characters, but I have crushes and characters I love.

Real-life isn't fiction?

Just kidding:p. It's only weird when people are overly obsessive, which is kind of like blurring the lines of reality and fiction, so yeah.

_LoonyLovegood_ February 29th, 2008 4:05 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
As people have said, I think as long as it's a crush and not love, there's nothing wrong with it. I was just typing that I really only get them for characters from movies (or movies based on books, since I know I have plenty of HP crushes), but then I realized I have a crush on an HP character that isn't really in the movies. I think it's completely normal, and most people get them. You just need to be able to draw the line between crush and obsession (a line I'm really bad at drawing :p).

gipro2003 February 29th, 2008 6:34 am

Re: Is it wierd to have a crush on a fictional character?
 
I dont think there is anything wrong with having a crush on a fictional character, as long as it doesnt result in an unhealthy obsession or actual love. I think many fictional character's posess characteristcs and abilities that are desirable in actual people. Also, if it is a book character, all we have is a general description of that person (if even) and can create an image of how we want that person to look, thus mostly resulting with good looking characters as well.


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